Being Me(Inside Out 02)(20)

Afraid I’m going to miss my call, I push to my feet and run toward the bedroom, certain it’s Chris, and reach it just as it stops ringing. A glance at the caller ID tells me it was Chris. I’m about to punch redial when it rings again.
“Chris,” I answer urgently, sitting on the edge of the bed, hoping to hear something in this call to erase the journal entry and how it’s made me feel.
“If this was any other trip for any other reason, I wouldn’t be leaving.”
“I know.” As insecure as I can be, in this moment, I feel the connection between myself and this man. “I also know that what you’re doing at the hospital is important. Where are you now?”
“We just started to cross the bridge. I had to push my flight back an hour but I should still make all my scheduled events.”
“I knew you were pushing it to make the flight.” Guilt over the journal entry twists inside me and I can’t hold it in. “I’m weak, Chris,” I blurt out. “I read another journal entry after you left, but I’m done now. No more. I locked all four of the journals in the safe and I don’t want the combination. Just tell me when you get back.”
He’s silent for several seconds, which feel like an eternity.
“Do I want to know what you read and what it’s making you think about us or me?”
“No,” I say firmly, trying to convince him, and maybe myself, too. “What matters is they’re locked up now.” My grip tightens around the phone. “I promised you I wouldn’t read anything else until you got back, and I did. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel my word means nothing.”
“You told me when you didn’t have to,” he says softly. “That matters, Sara.”
“You matter. You coming back to see me last night and worrying about me and so many other things, Chris. I’m not sure I really told you how much it all means but it does. It really does.”
“If you’re trying to make me want to turn the cab around and come back, it’s working.” His voice softens. “Saturday is going to take forever to get here.”
“Yes,” I agree. “Forever.”
“More so because I’m worried about you. I talked to Jacob before I left. He’s going to give you his cell phone number and if you need anything you call him. He’ll even take you to and from work if you want, though I know you well enough to know you aren’t going to agree to that.”
“No, but after what happened at the storage unit, I’m not complaining about having someone to call if I need to.” Had Chris not shown up last night, I’d have had no one to lean on, and it wasn’t a good feeling. “Thank you, Chris.”
“Thank me by staying safe and make sure you stop and talk to Jacob before you leave. If he’s not around have the front desk call for him.”
“Yes, okay. I will.”
“I’ll call you once I get settled in L.A. to check on you.” His voice lowers, turns soft and intimate. “Bye, baby.”
“Bye, Chris,” I whisper, and end the call, falling back on the mattress. I stare at the ceiling, my emotions all over the place. I really don’t know what to do with them or myself. I grab my phone, set the alarm for half an hour from now, and snuggle into a pillow, smiling as my nostrils flare approvingly with the heady male scent of the man making me absolutely crazy. “Crazy good,” I whisper.
“Coffee’s ready.”
My head snaps up from the pad of paper where I’ve been jotting information about Ella’s new husband, David, including his work number, and find Ralph, the gallery accountant and ever the comedian, poking his head in the door. Considering
“Ralph” is Asian, I can’t help but wonder if his parents have the same infectious sense of humor I adore about Ralph. “Thank you,” I say, eager to pick Ralph’s brain about Rebecca and her relationship with Alvarez before my visit with him the next evening.
“I suggest you fill your mug before ‘Bossman’ drinks it all,” Ralph whispers conspiratorially, using one of his random, ever-changing nicknames for Mark. “He looks like he had a long night.” He tips back an imaginary glass and makes a comical face.
“A bit too much wine for the Wine Master, I do think.”
I wave off this notion and glance at the clock, remotely registering that it’s almost nine and David’s office should be opening any minute. “Mark’s way too in control to let that happen.”
Ralph snorts. “You haven’t seen him today.”
He grimaces and disappears around the corner and my brows dip. Mark looking anything but perfect is hard to fathom, and since Mark seems to have quite the impact on my future, I’m curious about this development.