Beholden (The Belonging Duet, #2)(26)
I grab a cab and head home. Home? I’m now calling Jackson’s apartment “home”? It stops me for a minute. My phone beeps with a text, breaking me from overthinking my mental blunder.
Gretchen: I’ve sent the files to Neil’s lawyers.
Me: So he’s going forward?
Gretchen: I’ve got this. I think he’ll cower. This seems to be completely financial.
“Hey, take me to the train station instead, please?” I make a split-second decision and ask the cabbie to change directions.
I’m taking care of this. I won’t allow him to put any more turmoil in my life. This ends today, once and for all.
The train into Hoboken gives me some time to plot about how to handle him. This is out of the norm, even for him. Taylor mentioned in an email that Neil’s name was floating around the office because he applied for a position there. Apparently, he lost a few clients in his firm and is now floundering. If he’s after money, he knows Jackson is wealthy. The bottom line is I will not allow him to use me or Jackson for financial gain.
Not going to happen.
Knowing the ring seemed to be his big concern, I head to my apartment to grab it. I don’t know what else he’s after but I want this done. There’s nothing of his I want or need. Everything he’s touched or even came close to is toxic, so good f*cking riddance.
Walking through my door, I’m taken back to the call that changed the course of the last few weeks. The wall Jackson held me against, screwed me relentlessly, then everything fell apart. The couch where I promised I wouldn’t run anymore, told him how I felt, and the door where I stood watching him walk away. I still don’t know how I endured the week after he left. I was a shell of a human. Terrified for him, of him, and knowing I would still have to be around him when he returned. The one thing I feared most in our relationship was always that if things went south, how I’d continue to be his publicist.
My room is still a disaster from the trip to Germany where I literally threw anything I could grab into a bag and Ashton and I ran out of the house. Then coming back since and grabbing more clothes to stay with Jackson. This is going to be loads of fun to clean up.
The jewelry box holding the ring sits in the closet where I placed it months ago. I open it and remove the diamond engagement ring. I hate him and everything this represents. While my feelings toward my father may have shifted slightly, my feelings of disgust toward Neil have only amplified.
Time to end it.
Time to be done.
Time to handle Neil and ensure that my relationship with Jackson doesn’t have issues because of him. I grab my “Fuck You” ring as well. I want no part of Neil. I want him gone and every memory to fade away with him. The princess cut diamond shimmers against the wall and one day I know I’ll wear a ring again. I’ll marry someone who loves me with his whole heart. He’ll respect me and be honest, instead of filled with secrets and lies. I don’t know if Jackson will be that man, but I can hope.
For a moment I allow myself to dream. I’m filled with a vision of Jackson on his knee, giving me his heart, his love, and promises of forever. I see in his eyes the love that I dream of. The ring he’ll place on my left ring finger that I’ll never take off because our love will be true.
I can see my long brown, hair in a low knot. I’m adorned in a gorgeous, white dress on the beach by our lighthouse, the place where our magic happened. I smile and walk to him as he waits for me. A single tear forms when I see the smile across his face with Mark beside him. Ashton is on the other side with tears streaming, but I can’t turn my eyes away from him. I place my hand in his and we say our vows that speak of the promise to love one another, respect each other, and forsake all others. Before our friends and family, we promise to hold our love sacred. Jackson kisses me, sealing everything spoken through the day, and of course in true Jackson style he somehow manages to do something inappropriate.
The smile spreads across my face as I allow myself to go further into my fantasy. I see my stomach round with child. He’s putting together a crib, cursing at the directions and the fact that he can put a gun together in under thirty seconds but it’s been four hours and the crib is still strewn around the room. I laugh holding my belly. It’s all so beautiful and perfect, but I stop myself before I get too far.
I rush out of my apartment before Ashton gets home or someone calls. I don’t want anyone to know where I’m going. No one will think this is a great idea—maybe it’s not—however it’s what I truly think will stop this. It’s time to be done with Neil and I know him better than most. He’s a chickenshit. He’ll give up because he’s driven by money and I have the upper hand. Gretchen is a fantastic lawyer, but this can’t go to court. People can’t know that not only did the CEO of Raven Cosmetics beat up a man, but that man is also my ex. It’ll destroy us both.
The drive over takes no time. His car is outside his house, which surprises me—I thought I’d have to wait for him. I take a deep breath and ready myself for whatever might happen. Hopefully, we’ll both come out of this unscathed.
Ringing the doorbell, I suddenly start to consider this is a mistake. Shit.
The door opens and Neil holds on to the door with his eyes narrowed. “Catherine, this is a surprise.”
I place my hands in my pockets and hold on to the rings. “We have some things to settle and discuss,” I say sternly. Luckily my voice doesn’t give any of my fear away.