Behind His Lens(27)

I smile gently as she puts the box down and grabs her purse. She pulls out a DVD and holds it up. “Best of SNL with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.” She tosses it over and I have to think fast to catch it.

“And lastly, some sleeping pills.” She knows me so well that sometimes I swear she’s an extension of myself.

“I’m going to force you to eat, we’re going to laugh our asses off, and then I’m staying with you until you pass out. You’re allowed sad days, Charley. I wouldn’t expect anything less, but you aren’t allowed to have a sad life.” Her warm, brown eyes see straight through me, and I nod gently. “I’m cutting you off. Starting tomorrow, you’re going to wake up refreshed and you’re going to rock that photo shoot. I’m not going to ask about Photographer Boy because he doesn’t get to add to your sad days. Tina and Amy are the only people we need tonight,” she states, finally cracking a smile.

I brush away a tear, but it’s different from the sad tears that filled my day before she arrived. She’s like a guardian angel and I thank my lucky stars that she walked into my life our freshman year at Columbia. Without a word, I walk over to her and hug her with every ounce of strength I have. I want her to know how important she is. How much her kindness affects these sad days.


CHAPTER EIGHT

Charley

I brush a stray strand of hair away from my face as I weave through the crowded sidewalk. I feel better. I know I’ll have more lows. After all, my newfound resolve is only skin deep, but on days like this it’s hard to remember just how sad I felt yesterday. A good night’s sleep is exactly what I needed.

As I head into MILK studio fifteen minutes early, I smile and take a deep breath. Jude did the right thing. He saw that I arrived home safely and he left when he felt uncomfortable. It was an honorable thing to do and I see that now. Yes, I wanted to jump his bones, and yes, he walked away after I took my shirt off for him, but that doesn’t mean I should have yelled at him.

“Morning, Charley!” Joanie chirps as I walk out of the elevator.

“Morning, Joanie,” I wave, genuinely happy to see her again.

Most of the crew has already arrived. I wrap my hand around the strap of my purse, trying to spy Jude among all of the frantic people. I shouldn’t have been surprised to find him in the same location he had occupied on Friday: tucked behind the media table, scrolling through proofs.

As I approach the table, he looks up and wets his lips. I take in his dark stubble, his tousled brown hair, and his blue, button down shirt. He’s got the first two buttons undone and a shadow of brown chest hair is just barely visible. His expression is reserved, maybe even hesitant, but when I offer what I hope to be a “truce” smile, his shoulders relax.

“Hi.” I swallow and adjust my purse strap.

His smile grows even wider. “Hi.”

I glance around to the assistants who’ve all paused their work and are looking at us with bemused expressions. I shake my head, smile, and look back to Jude.

“Could we talk for a quick second?” I ask with a hopeful tone.

He raises his eyebrows in surprise, but quickly recovers, “Oh, sure.”

Once we’re away from prying eyes and ears, I clear my throat and begin, “I’m really sorry about Saturday night. I was rude to you after you were nothing but a complete gentleman.” My cheeks redden from the sincerity behind my words, and I look to the floor for a moment. I have no clue what he thinks of me after that night. I just hope my apology isn’t falling on deaf ears. I push past the thought and continue.

“I don’t know if you remember me saying that I usually don’t drink that much…or really at all,” I offer, trying to skirt around the subject of whether or not he was listening me talk about my mother.

“Charley, you don’t need to apologize. We’ve all been there… and yes, I remember everything you told me that night.” His voice is level, but when I glance up into his blue eyes, they’re warm and sincere. He’s being so much nicer than I was expecting. He should hate me after what I said to him.

“Um, also… I am still glad you were the one to take me home. That was a silly thing for me to say and I only think of Tom as a friend.” I know I’m speaking too fast and rambling, but I want to clear the air before I lose my nerve. “You didn’t have to leave the bar to take me home. You don’t even know me and you took care of me.” I run a hand through my hair and laugh pitifully, “and then I threw myself at you. I’m so, so sor…”