Before I Do(34)



“That’s settled, we’ll invite them all,” said Clara, giving Audrey a knowing look, though Audrey wasn’t sure what it was Clara thought she knew.



* * *





When the dinner party came around the following Saturday, Audrey made more of an effort than usual. She styled her hair, put on red lipstick and even a dress. Every time the doorbell rang, she rushed to answer it. The fourth time she answered the door, she found Josh standing alone on the doorstep. His hair had been brushed neatly to one side, and he wore a soft cotton maroon T-shirt with the bad jeans she’d noted before. He smiled down at her with a coy friendliness, perhaps remembering the terse tone of their last conversation in the street.

“Hey, um—James, right?” she teased, biting her lip as she looked up at him.

“Hi, Amy,” he said, deadpan, leaning in to kiss her cheek. The smell of his aftershave, all cedar and soap, then the light touch of his lips ignited her with an unexpected thrill.

“Are you on your own?” she asked casually, glancing out onto the dark street.

“Kelly’s meeting me here,” he said, following her into the hall and handing her two bottles of red wine. The embossed labels made her suspect they were half-decent, not the six-pound plonk everyone else brought.

They stood watching each other in the narrow hallway for a moment. How had she failed to notice how good-looking Josh was, with his warm smile and sparkling, intelligent eyes? Had he changed something about his hair or was it just that he smelled so good tonight? Something was definitely throwing her off, because he certainly wasn’t the type of guy she was usually attracted to. Audrey tapped the wine bottle in her hand.

“I guess your girlfriend isn’t the sort to urinate in the wine bottles then,” she said, but the perplexed look on Josh’s face told her he didn’t remember the conversation they’d had last time he was here.

“I hope not,” he said, his forehead knitting into a confused frown.

“Oh no, of course not, I only said that because . . . well, the Halloween party, do you remember the guy I was . . . ?” Why had she mentioned anyone peeing in wine bottles? “I didn’t think your girlfriend was actually likely to pee in a wine bottle.” Audrey glanced at the pinewood floor, willing it to swallow her. When she looked up, she noticed a woman had appeared on the doorstep holding a camping chair and two helium balloons with “Happy Birthday” written on the front.

“I can pee in a wine bottle,” the stranger said cheerfully. “I had to at a festival once, I’ve got a surprisingly precise stream.”

The woman was pretty, with long red hair, a freckled face, and a warm, open smile, not at all what Audrey had imagined Josh’s girlfriend would look like.

“This is Miranda, my sister,” said Josh, an amused look on his face. “And I definitely didn’t need to know that about the precision of your stream,” he added, grimacing.

“Hi, I’m Audrey. Whose birthday is it?”

Miranda looked in confusion at the balloons she was holding, then her eyes grew wide in horror.

“Shit! Back in a sec!” Miranda yelled, dropping the camping chair on the doorstep and running off down the street, balloons flailing behind her.

Audrey and Josh looked at each other and laughed. As they stood side by side in the hallway, waiting to see if Miranda and her balloons would return, their eyes lingered on each other for slightly longer than might have been appropriate.

“Well, I’m glad to see you’re not wearing a suit today,” she said. Oh jeez, why was she being weird with Bad Jeans Josh? Just because she’d noticed he had nice eyes and great hair and smelled really, really, really good?

“I took it off especially for you. I usually sleep in it,” he said, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

“Oh, James, you’re such a kidder.” She sighed.

They heard the tap of heels running up the street, and Miranda reappeared on the doorstep.

“Sorry,” she said, bending over to catch her breath, “I told this woman in the corner shop I’d hold her balloons while she went to the bathroom and then I just clean walked off with them. She was pretty pissed off.”

Audrey had a feeling she was going to like Miranda.



* * *





As they were sitting down to eat, Kelly arrived and squeezed in next to Josh. She was nearly six foot tall and had luminous skin and chestnut-colored hair with incredible volume. It didn’t even go flat over the course of the evening; in Audrey’s experience, even the biggest hair always went flat by the end of the night. Josh looked genuinely relaxed in her company, his body language confident and self-assured. He was thoughtful, getting her drinks, introducing her to everyone, keeping her included in the conversation. Audrey had purposely seated herself at the other end of the table from them but kept finding her gaze drawn in their direction. She noticed Kelly didn’t eat the Sausage Fandango—she’d brought an edamame salad in her bag.

Audrey was sitting between Jay and some guitarist friend of Clara’s. She heard herself laughing louder than usual at everything Jay said, then glancing to see if anyone at the other end of the table had noticed what a great time she was having. They all looked too busy having their own great time to notice. She couldn’t stop herself from having this performative “good time” and hated herself for being such a loser. Why was she acting like this?

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