Becoming Calder (A Sign of Love Novel)(55)

"I want a flower wreath for my hair."
"Then that's what you'll have." I laughed and carried her back to our cabin.
My mom and dad were awake, so we all started the day. Mom made breakfast as Dad loaded the small wagon outside our door with the baked goods my mom had been preparing all week.
For the festival, those baking were given a bag of sugar to use as an ingredient and Xander and I usually went from booth to booth, shoveling in treats, making ourselves sick by the end of the day. For some reason, the thought of sugar didn't fill me with my usual enthusiasm.
I stood in the doorway again, needing the air as all four of us clambered around the small space. It had always seemed crowded in our cabin, but now it felt tiny, claustrophobic, and I could hardly breathe. If I wasn't sleeping or working, these days I spent most of my time on the small porch.
"Make yourself useful, and help your dad," my mom bossed.
I took a deep breath and went and grabbed a couple wrapped plates of desserts off the table.
By noon, the setup was done and I walked through the rows of booths slowly, checking out the various items: cakes, cookies, cupcakes, hair wreathes, bouquets of wildflowers, soaps that smelled like different herbs, scented candles made from beeswax, jars of clover honey. Although the workers had made or collected the items, everything that was out was a gift from Hector, and we were encouraged to take what we needed. Everyone seemed happy, full of excitement today, but the whole festival suddenly seemed to me like a small morsel Hector threw to us workers to keep us happy, when he lived like this every day of the year, taking his fill of whatever treats and luxuries he ever desired.
I'd take Eden away from here, yes, because there was no other option, but would I miss any of it? It was all I'd ever known. And it would break my mom and dad's hearts. And Maya . . . I'd come back for her. I'd have to. Once I got Eden and me settled, I'd come back for her.
I massaged the back of my neck. It seemed like so much uncertainty. And Xander was right—I was wholly unprepared for the world outside. I didn't fear it so much as Hector had taught us to. I wasn't even sure exactly why . . . maybe it was the people Xander had met at the ranger station . . . maybe those happy looking movie stars in the magazines we had swiped and hid under the floorboards of Xander's cabin. None of them looked evil or cruel. I hoped I was right to be optimistic about the way other people lived and acted outside Acadia, because I knew one thing for sure. There'd be no coming back here once we left.
I was interrupted in my thoughts by the sound of voices rising and some calling out and I looked behind me to see the small, horse-drawn wagon, draped in bright fabrics, that Hector used to ride through the festival as people waved and clapped for him. Eden was sitting beside him, solemn in the white lace dress she always wore to Temple and special events. Hector leaned over and whispered something in her ear and a look of discomfort passed over her features before she smiled demurely and nodded at him. Anger and jealousy spiked through me as I leaned against a tree at the edge of the clearing where all the booths were set up. He had no right to her. If I could, I would have scooped her off that stupid, pompous wagon right then and there and walked off with her. But to where? And with what? So that she would be hungry by dinnertime and I'd have nothing to feed her? She couldn't know all my doubts. She was counting on me and I wouldn't fail her. But inside, I was nervous, confused, filled with questions I had no way to answer. I felt angry and frustrated.
I walked back around the small grove of trees and weaved through the booths until I was next to the wagon, about a hundred feet to the side of it. I walked along at the same pace, ducking behind booths here and there. Finally, Eden turned her head and caught sight of me. I grinned at her and her eyes widened as she coughed into her hand, hiding her own smile.
I ducked behind another booth and when I stepped out, Eden was looking around for me and spotting me, started to "cough" into her hand again. I walked along with her like that for a few minutes, loving that I was making her smile.
When the wagon made it to the first of the game booths, Hector stepped down and then offered his hand to Eden who took it and stepped down as well. I moved closer, blending in with the rest of the people now crowding around the booth.
The game booth was a series of three platforms, one close, one farther, and the third one all the way at the back wall. There were three, heavy beanbags on each platform and the object was to throw a larger beanbag with enough force and just the right placement to knock all three off.
Hector leaned in to Eden again, pointing up at the variety of flower head wreaths. I moved closer and Eden caught my movement and looked over at me and then immediately down, obviously forgetting Hector had just asked her a question.