Beautifully Broken Pieces (Sutter Lake, #1)(51)

I got to my feet, frustration rippling through every muscle of my body. “I told you I would go running with you. Morning or night. All you have to do is text me. What is so hard about that?”

She threw her arms wide. “Because it’s something I like to do alone most of the time. I don’t need to explain myself to you. I don’t owe you anything. I’m a grown woman, I make my own choices. I take care of myself. I don’t need you swooping in and trying to control every damn little thing!”

Breaths came through my nose in quick bursts as I pressed my lips together to keep from saying something I might regret. “I’m not trying to control anything. I’m trying to keep you safe.”

Taylor snorted. “I don’t need you to keep me safe. I can keep myself safe.”

“Oh, so was today a shining example of how well you can take care of yourself?”

“Today was a mistake. I told you that. I fucked up. It won’t happen again. Just drop it!”

I glanced at the ceiling, holding tight to my temper. I needed to try a different tack. “What is so bad about leaning on someone? About letting someone help you?”

Taylor’s jaw had a hard set, and her delicate hands were balled into fists. “There’s nothing bad about it.”

I studied her face, searching her eyes for some hint of what she was hiding. What she held onto with a vise-like grip. “You don’t mean that. Tell me why you don’t want people to be there for you. To help you with anything. It took my mom and sister double-teaming you with their persistence to even get you to use our fucking pool.”

“God! You push and push and push! Why won’t you just leave me alone? I don’t want to need anyone, okay? Just let it go! I’m fine on my own!”

“Why? Just tell me why, and I’ll let it go.”

“BECAUSE EVERYONE LEAVES!” The statement was torn from her throat so violently, that the words were left lying bloody on the floor.

I felt a tearing sensation in my chest. A pain that I’d never felt before, even in the wake of Julie’s death. I realized that it was the feeling of my heart truly breaking. Not for myself, but for someone else.

Taylor’s breathing was ragged. “Sometimes, they choose to leave.” I knew then that she was talking about her father. And in that moment, if the man had been standing in the room, I knew there was a good chance I would have killed him. “And, other times… Other times, they have no choice. You know they fight so hard—with everything they have—not to leave you alone. But they’re torn from you anyway.”

My breaking heart shattered. Splintered for the girl who felt so alone in the world. I took a step towards her, but she held out an arm as if warding off a wild animal who wanted to tear her to shreds. “Don’t.”

I froze. “Please.” My voice was as gentle and non-threatening as I could make it. “Please, let me hold you.”

That’s when Taylor broke. As if the simple offer of human kindness and comfort was too much for her to bear. She merely collapsed, her knees knocking against the hardwood floor with a brutal sound.

I sank to the ground next to her, not waiting for voiced permission to hold her. I just wrapped my body around hers, and the second she felt my presence, she clung to me with a ferocity that stole my breath—her arms clinging to my neck, her legs encircling my waist as I knelt on the floor.

Violent sobs wracked her body, and it was all I could to do to absorb them. I held her as tightly as possible without hurting her. She needed someone who would never leave her. I could be that. I would be her friend, her constant shadow, her shoulder to cry on for as long as she wanted me. I would be more if she let me. It might not be forever, she might choose to leave, but it would be worth the pain if I could heal even a part of this precious girl’s soul.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that. My knees throbbed and my back ached, but I didn’t move a muscle. Eventually, Taylor’s tears slowed. I trailed a gentle hand up and down her spine, hoping it would encourage her to calm further.

I knew the moment she came back to herself because she tensed. I squeezed the back of her neck. “Don’t do that. Don’t freeze up on me now. Don’t shut me out. I’m honored that you let me in, even if I did kick down the door.”

Taylor exhaled a breath, and it tickled my neck. Her face was still firmly pressed there. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to know.” I pulled back to gaze into those bewitching blue-gray eyes, rimmed red from crying. She flushed and turned her head away. I placed a single finger under her chin and brought her face back towards mine. “No more hiding.”

Her throat bobbed. “Okay.” There was a moment of silence where we simply stared at one another, both of us with our walls completely down. “I don’t know what to do now,” she whispered.

“I bet you’re exhausted. How about I put you to bed?”

Taylor nodded, a light pink staining her cheeks. “I have a favor. You can totally say no if it’s too weird.”

“What is it?”

“Will you sleep with me?” Her voice wavered as if she were fighting against a new rush of tears. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

I knew how much it had cost her to say those words. To make that request. And I was fucking honored. “I’d be happy to.”