Beautiful Redemption (The Maddox Brothers, #2)(42)

“Liis?” Marks called as I passed his office. “Get in here.”

I stopped and turned around, surprised at the gratefulness I felt for the invitation. I slumped in his chair. “What?”

He raised an eyebrow, momentarily halting the continuous clicking on his keyboard. “I told you. You’re trouble.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

“Everybody can tell that he’s different. He’s practically happy when you’re around.”

“I’m missing why that makes me trouble.”

“Is your ex staying with you for a few days?”

“Of course not.”

“Why not?”

I sat up. “Do you make a habit of asking questions that are none of your damn business?”

“Let me guess. You transferred here to get away from him? You told Tommy you were emotionally unavailable, and now, he’s chasing you because you turned him down. Only this isn’t a game to you. You really aren’t available.”

I rolled my eyes and sat back. “Let’s not pretend he doesn’t have issues of his own.”

“Exactly. So, why don’t you both make it easier on this department and knock it the hell off?”

“You have your own problems. Concentrate on those instead of mine.” I stood.

“I saw what it did to him…when Camille left the last time. It was even worse when he came back after Trent and Cami’s car accident. Cami chose Trent, but Tommy has never stopped loving her. I’m not trying to be a dick here, Liis, but he’s my friend. I might be in your business, but Tommy was different after he’d lost Cami—and not for the better. He’s just now showing signs of the man he used to be before she broke his heart.”

“Tommy?” I said, unimpressed.

Marks craned his neck at me. “Is that all you got out of everything I just told you? This isn’t a pissing match, Liis. I’m not trying to take him from you. I’m trying to save him from you.”

As bitter as it tasted, I tried to swallow the shame. My struggle was clear because the anger in Marks’s eyes vanished.

“I can appreciate that you’re committed to the job and that you’re focused,” he said. “But if you can’t find a way to love the job and him, too…just don’t f*ck him over while you’re trying to figure out if you’ve got a heart.”

The shame was quickly replaced by anger. “Eat shit, Marks,” I said before leaving his office.

I buzzed myself through the security door and marched to my office.

“Lindy,” Agent Sawyer began.

“Not now,” I said before slamming the door to my office to make a point.

Once again, I was in my chair with the back facing the glass wall. The blinds were closed from when Thomas had been in here before, but I still needed to feel the tall back between me and the squad room.

After a small knock on the door, it opened. By the lack of greeting and the sound of someone sitting in the club chair, I knew it could only be Val.

“Fuzzy’s today?”

“Not today. I definitely need to spend my lunch hour in the fitness room.”

“Okay.”

I spun around. “That’s it? No interrogation?”

“I don’t have to. I’ve been watching you all morning. First, you hide in here, and Maddox runs in after you. Then, your ex shows up, and Maddox is up here, yelling at everyone like he used to.” She waggled her eyebrows. “He’s got it bad.”

I looked away. “I just broke Jackson’s heart—again. What the hell was I thinking? I knew something had happened to Thomas. Hell, you told me on day one he’d been burned. Marks is right.”

Val stiffened. “What did Marks say?”

“That I should stay away from Thomas. That I couldn’t commit to Jackson, and it’s likely that I can’t commit to anyone else.”

Val made a face. “You’re lying. He isn’t that much of a brazen dick.”

“He is when it comes to me. And to clarify, yes, I was paraphrasing.”

“Then, those are your fears talking. But if you like Maddox, Liis, don’t let a failed relationship govern your next one. Just because you didn’t love Jackson doesn’t mean you can’t love Maddox.”

“He still loves her,” I said, not trying to hide the wounded tone in my voice.

“Camille? She was the one who got away, Liis. He’ll probably always love her.”

A sick feeling came over me, and I curled my shoulders inward, feeling actual physical pain seeping all the way into my bones.

We haven’t known each other for that long. Why do I have such strong feelings for him?

I couldn’t ask that though. It made me too vulnerable, made me feel too weak.

I spoke aloud the only question I could, “Do you think he can love two people?”

“Can you love one?” she snapped back.

I shook my head, touching my fingers to my lips.

Val had no sympathy in her eyes. “You’re really kind of bringing this on yourself. Be with him or not. But Marks is right. Don’t f*ck with Maddox’s emotions. I realize you told him once that you’re emotionally unavailable, but you’re behaving differently.”

“Because I like him. I think I more than like him. But I don’t want to.”