Beautiful Darkness(72)

What about my dad?

“Did you know my mom was in love with Macon Ravenwood?”

Marian's face crumbled, which told me everything. She had only meant to give away a gift from my mom, not my mother's deepest secret. “Who told you that?”

“You did. When you handed me the Arclight Macon gave to the girl he loved. My mother.”

Marian's eyes filled with tears, but they didn't fall. “The visions. They were about Macon and your mother.” She was figuring it out, piecing it together.

I remembered the night when I first met Macon. Lila Evers, he had said. Lila Evers Wate, I had corrected.

Macon had mentioned my mother's work, but claimed he didn't know her. Another lie. My head was spinning.

“So you knew.” It wasn't a question. I shook my head, wishing I could shake everything I'd just learned back out again. “Does my dad know?”

“No. And you can't tell him, Ethan. He wouldn't understand.” Her voice was desperate.

“He wouldn't understand? I don't understand!” More than a few people stopped gossiping and looked over at us.

“I'm so sorry. I never thought it would be a story I would have to tell. It was your mother's story, not mine.”

“In case you haven't noticed, my mom is dead. She's not exactly taking questions.” My voice was harsh and unforgiving, which pretty much summed up how I felt.

Marian looked down at my mother's headstone. “You're right. You need to know.”

“I want the truth.”

“That's what I intend to give you.” Her voice was shaking. “If you know about the Arclight, I assume you know why Macon gave it to your mother.”

“So she could protect herself from him.” I'd felt sorry for Macon before. Now I felt sick. My mom was Juliet in some kind of twisted play where Romeo was an Incubus, even if it was Macon.

“That's right. Macon and Lila struggled with the same reality as you and Lena. It has been hard to watch you these past few months without drawing certain … comparisons. I can't think how difficult it must have been for Macon.”

“Please. Stop.”

“Ethan, I understand this is hard for you, but it doesn't change what happened. I'm a Keeper, and these are the facts. Your mother was a Mortal. Macon was an Incubus. They couldn't be together, not after Macon changed and became the Dark creature he was born to be. Macon didn't trust himself. He was afraid he might hurt your mother, so he gave her the Arclight.”

“Facts. Lies. Whatever.” I was so tired of it all.

“Fact. He loved her more than his own life.” Why was Marian defending him?

“Fact. Not killing the love of your life doesn't make you a hero.” I was furious.

“It nearly killed him, Ethan.”

“Yeah? Well, look around. My mom's dead. They both are. So Macon's plan didn't really help much, did it?”

Marian took a deep breath. I knew the look, and a lecture was coming. She pulled me by the arm, and we walked away from the graveyard, away from everyone above and below the ground. “They met at Duke. They were both studying American history. They fell in love, like any two people.”

“You mean, like any unsuspecting undergraduate and an evolving Demon. If we're sticking to the facts.”

“‘In Light there is Dark, and in Dark there is Light.’ Your mother used to say that.”

I wasn't interested in philosophical ideas about the nature of the Caster world. “When did he give her the Arclight?”

“Eventually, Macon told Lila what he was and what he would become — that a future between the two of them was impossible.” Marian spoke slowly and carefully. I wondered if it was as hard to say as it was to hear, and I felt sorry for both of us.

“It broke her heart, and his. He gave her the Arclight, which thankfully she never had to use. He left the university and came back home to Gatlin.”

She waited for me to say something cruel. I tried to come up with something, but in spite of everything, I was curious. “What happened after Macon came back? Did they see each other again?”

“Sadly, no.”

I gave her an incredulous look. “Sadly?”

Marian shook her head at me. “It was sad, Ethan. It was the saddest I'd ever seen your mother. I was so worried, and I didn't know what to do. I thought she was going to die from a broken heart, from how broken every part of her was.”

We had been walking the loop that circled Perpetual Peace. Now we were surrounded by trees and out of sight from most of Gatlin.

“But.” I had to know the end, even if it hurt to hear.

“But your mother followed Macon to Gatlin, through the Tunnels. She couldn't bear to be away from him, and she swore to find a way they could be together. A way Casters and Mortals could spend their lives together. She was obsessed with the idea.”

I understood. I didn't like it, but I understood.

“The answer to that question did not lie in the Mortal world but in the Caster world. So your mother found a way to become part of it, even if she couldn't be with Macon.”

We started walking again. “You're talking about her job as a Keeper, right?”

Marian nodded. “Lila found a calling that allowed her to study the Caster world and its laws, its Light and its Darkness. A way to look for the answer.”