Beautiful Darkness(50)

I sat down on the bed, and Marian sat next to me. “You have a destiny of your own, like Lena. Which means things could become very complicated.”

“You think these past few months haven't been complicated?”

“You have no idea of the things I've seen. The things your mother saw.” Marian looked away.

“So you think I'm one of those Waywards? I'm a human compass or something, like Link said?”

“It's more than that. Waywards don't just know the way. They are the way. They guide Casters along the path they are destined to take, a path they might not otherwise find on their own. You might be the Wayward for a Ravenwood or a Duchannes. It's not clear which at the moment.” Liv seemed to know what she was talking about, which didn't make sense. That's what my mind kept going back to as I stumbled over what they were saying.

“Aunt Marian, tell her. I can't be one of these Waywards. My parents are regular Mortals.” Nobody said the obvious, that my mom had been a part of the Caster world, like Marian, only in a way no one would ever talk about, at least not to me.

“Waywards are Mortals, a bridge between the Caster world and ours.” Liv reached for another book. “Of course, your mother was hardly what you could call a regular Mortal, any more than I am, or Professor Ashcroft.”

“Olivia!” Marian froze.

“You don't mean —”

“His mother didn't want him to know. I promised, if anything were to happen —”

“Stop!” I slammed the book down on the table. “I'm not in the mood for your rules. Not tonight.”

Liv fidgeted with her science experiment of a watch, nervously. “I'm such an idiot.”

“What do you know about my mother?” I turned on Liv. “Tell me right now.”

Marian crumpled into the chair next to me. The pink spots on Liv's cheeks flushed. “I'm so sorry.” She shook her head, looking from Marian to me, helplessly.

Marian held up her hand. “Olivia knows all about your mother, Ethan.”

I turned to Liv. I knew what she was going to tell me, before she said it. The truth had been pushing its way into my mind. Liv knew too much about Casters and Waywards, and she was here, in the Tunnels, standing in Macon's study. If I hadn't been so confused about what they thought I was, I would've realized what Liv was. I don't know why it had taken me this long to see it.

“Ethan.”

“You're one of them, like Aunt Marian and my mom.”

“Them?” Liv asked.

“You're a Keeper.” The words made it real, and I was feeling everything and nothing at the same time — my mom, down here in the Tunnels with Marian's massive ring of Caster keys. My mom with her secret life, in this secret world my father and I had never been, and could never be, part of.

“I'm not a Keeper.” Liv looked embarrassed. “Not yet. One day, maybe. I'm training.”

“Training to be more than the Gatlin County librarian, which is why you're here, in the middle of nowhere with your fancy scholarship. If there is one. Or was that a lie, too?”

“I'm a terrible liar. I do have a scholarship, but it's paid by a society of scholars that far predates Duke University.”

“Or the Harrow School.”

She nodded. “Or Harrow.”

“What about the Ovaltine? Was that even true?”

Liv smiled ruefully. “I'm from Kings Langley, and I do love Ovaltine, but if I'm to be perfectly honest, I've come to prefer Quik since arriving in Gatlin.”

Link sat down on the bed, speechless. “I don't understand a word she's sayin’.”

Liv turned the pages of the book until a timeline of Keepers appeared. My mom's name stared back at me. “Professor Ashcroft is right. I studied Lila Evers Wate. Your mother was a brilliant Keeper, a tremendous writer. It's part of my coursework to read the notes left by the Keepers who have come before me.”

Notes? My mom had notes Liv had seen, and I hadn't? I resisted the urge to punch a hole through the wall. “Why? So you don't make the mistakes they made? So you don't end up dead in an accident nobody saw and no one can explain? So you don't leave your family behind, wondering about your secret life and why you never told them about it?”

The two pink spots appeared on Liv's cheeks again. I was getting used to them. “So I can continue their work and keep their voices alive. So one day, when I become a Keeper, I'll know how to safeguard the Caster archive — the Lunae Libri, the scrolls, the records of the Casters themselves. That isn't possible without the voices of the Keepers who came before me.”

“Why not?”

“Because they're my teachers. I learn from their experiences, the knowledge they gathered while they were Keepers. Everything is connected, and without their records, I can't make sense of the things I discover myself.”

I shook my head. “I don't understand.”

“You don't understand? What the hell are we even talkin’ about?” Link spoke up from the bed.

Marian put her hand on my shoulder. “The voice you heard, the laughter from the hall, I imagine it was your mother. Lila led you here, most likely because she wanted us to have this conversation. So you would understand your purpose, and Lena's or Macon's. Because you're Bound to one of their Houses and one of their destinies. I just don't know whose yet.”