Beautiful Broken Promises(54)

“I’m mad at you.”

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have started that.” He looked at me again with shame for what he had done, and then I was pissed.

“If you apologize for touching me one more time, I will scream.”

“I shouldn’t have started that with you,” he repeated. “We have so much going on…” His words trailed off as I stepped into the shower. I knew the water would be scalding. I could feel the heat from here so I stayed near the edge, out of the spray. He was so surprised by my forward movement that it took him a second to realize he needed to turn down the heat.

“You just left me… alone… on a bed,” I whispered.

When I was happy with the temperature of the water, I stepped underneath the calming flow. My body brushed his—just barely—and he moaned audibly.

“Rae…” he started, but I held my hand up to stop him.

“What I don’t want is to hear you make excuses for this attraction between us. What I do want is to feel you,” I stated firmly.

“I’m trying real hard to control myself, babe. You can’t keep saying stuff like that to me.” I heard the tension in his voice and noticed his hand squeeze a bit tighter around himself.

“What are you so afraid of?” I asked. When I extended my hands out to touch him, he quickly stepped out of my reach. I wanted to feel insecure at yet another rejection, but at the same time I knew how attracted he was to me—even if it was only a fraction of what I felt.

“Sex complicates things when it’s between two people who have to maintain a civil relationship. I can’t have things get weird between us, Rae. God… I want you. I want you so bad, but…” His hands moved through the air, mimicking how he would like to run them across my body and a thrill darted through me. I almost moved closer, but I wasn’t that desperate. Not yet.

“No. It’s just sex and I want it with you. It’s been a long, long, long time for me, Lane. You have no idea how this feels… how much I want.” I inched closer and was happy to see that he didn’t back away.

“You’re fooling yourself if you think this won’t obscure lines and confuse feelings,” he whispered into the spray of the shower.

“I realize that. But let me handle it. This is just sex… right here… right now.” With one hand I reached out and replaced his on his strong erection.

“Damn it, Raegan,” he groaned, and I watched as all the fight left his body. I was breaking down the big, tough boxer, one word and touch at a time.

His hand stretched out and pulled the back of my head toward him, our lips colliding in the middle. When he sucked my lower lip into his mouth, I melted. He pushed my back until I was firmly pressed against the glass, and I looked up at his face while his hands ran over my water-slicked breasts.

His eyes were focused past me, almost as if he were looking outside of the shower, and I loved the heat that began to glow in his eyes. I turned to see what had him so turned on. Over my shoulder, I noticed that he could see my body pressed into the glass through the mirror facing us. It was all fogged up from the steam, but he could still easily make out the lines of my body in the glass.

Since he seemed to enjoy that, I twirled in his hands and pressed my front against the glass. At that point, even I was mesmerized by our reflection. My breasts weren’t small; I could thank a year of breastfeeding Braden for those. They just never went back to my pre-pregnancy size.

But what had my mouth watering was the towering figure behind me. His large frame practically engulfed my much smaller one, and I could feel his giant arms wrapping around my front. The idea that he held back so much of his strength so he could touch me tenderly had me primed and ready to go instantly. Slowly, he let his hands glide past my naval and into the area I was begging for him to stay.

Through the mirror our eyes met and I said, “You like watching.” It wasn’t a question because his obvious arousal persistently pressing into my back was my answer.

One of his large fingers dipped into me and my head fell back against his chest. Everything about him was a turn-on to me. The rasping breath in my ear alone could get me off at this point.

“You know damn well that I like it,” he said directly into my ear. His lips glided across it lightly and when he gently bit my earlobe, my hands flew back and I grabbed his rock-hard thighs for support. My fingers clenched into his muscles but he didn’t protest.