Beautiful Broken Promises(27)

“And I can help. It’s the least I can do after being an * to you.” He pushed me back down gently and took a clean swab out of the sterile pack before wiping the area clean. “Why are you crying?” he asked softly. His voice had changed from demanding to calm in a matter of seconds.

“Because it’s hideous.”

“That’s usually how cuts go. I don't think they’re supposed to look pretty.” I stayed silent in my seat because he had only confirmed my insecurity. He took a deep breath and continued, “The cut is unsightly, not you. Don’t worry, you’re still as beautiful as ever.”

Before my jaw could drop at his words, he quickly rushed on to say, “I can take care of this. Besides, I’m not squeamish and this has to hurt like a bitch. Am I allowed to ask what happened, or is that rude?” he inquired.

“You can ask, but it’s a long story and I really don’t want to talk about it yet.”

“Fair enough,” he responded easily.

I had stitches stretching from above my eyebrow, past my temple, and down to my ear. Where his laceration was cleaned up nice and neat with his stitches, mine still looked jagged and disgusting. I just knew I would have a hell of a scar.

“I wasn’t fair to you,” he whispered. I almost smarted off at his words because that was a huge understatement, but then decided to just let him continue. “It was always easier for me to pawn it off on you. I didn’t always think it was your fault. I had a one-track mind to find Flores, but every once in a while I’d think about that tape of you and his wife and I’d see red. When I saw Kate again and then you, I just... I had no idea how to process that. I really am sorry, I never knew how to anticipate this moment.”

“I think it’s new for everyone,” I offered.

“I’m also… jealous,” he whispered.

“Jealous?” I laughed cynically.

“You’ve had all these years with her. It’s not your fault regardless, I had no room to be an *.”

I was alarmed when Lane set down yet another soaked piece of gauze in front of me. Should I have been bleeding that much? He gently soothed some of the antibiotic ointment across the side of my face with the lightest of strokes.

“This doesn’t look good, Raegan. Shouldn’t you be in the hospital or something?” he whispered.

“I’ve been in the hospital for the past two weeks. That’s where Charlie picked me up. They said I should be fine, as long as I continue taking that arsenal of drugs in there.”

He started to say something but stopped himself as he stared down into my eyes. For a moment I felt something between us. I sensed so many unspoken words and even a tingling feeling that I was unfamiliar with. He broke the spell first with a slight shake of his head, and then reached out to grab more gauze. I closed my eyes for the remainder of his doctoring, feeling confused.

Once he had me completely fixed up, I stood slowly, trying to catch my bearings. My head began to spin, and I had to close my eyes again and wait for it to pass. Even with my eyes closed, I felt a crushing sense of whirling darkness around me. I reached out for anything that could stabilize this out-of-sorts feeling and was met by two strong arms.

“Hey, hey, you okay?” he asked with genuine worry in his voice.

“Yeah, just dizzy. It’s a side effect of one of my meds. It happens a lot, but they said once I stop taking them, it should go away.” My eyes slowly opened once the spell began to fade, and I spotted the concern in his. I’d only had a few dark spots in my vision compared to the complete blackness I used to get. That had to be a good sign.

“How long do you have to take them?”

“Until my heart heals and I can regulate my blood pressure without them,” I stated word-for-word what the doctor explained to me just twenty-four hours ago. I regretfully dropped my hands away from his warm skin.

“Your heart?!” he exclaimed, sounding alarmed.

I held up my hand and lethargically said, “Tomorrow, okay? I’m so tired, Lane.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

He headed to his bathroom and I re-entered the darkened bedroom. I crawled in between the kids and my head was so thankful for the pillow underneath it, I was out before I even heard Lane turn off the shower in the bathroom.

~~~~~~~

Soft giggles woke me from my sleep. I hadn’t been able to sleep very hard for the past couple of years. I was always afraid something would happen while I was out, so eventually my body caught up with my mind and learned how to slumber, always in a semi-alert state.