Beautiful Beast (Gypsy Heroes #3)(69)

I giggle.

‘You can laugh, but you don’t know how I burned with jealousy. Fuck, even thinking about it now makes me feel uneasy. I didn’t sleep that night. Short of going up to him and bashing his head in I did everything in my power to make sure he would be kept up so late he wouldn’t get it into his place to take and early flight and turn up at your place that night. But I couldn’t sleep. I realized that I didn’t feel good when you were out of my sight. I wanted to protect you. In my head you were already mine, you just didn’t know it yet.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah,’ he says with his trademark mischievous grin.

‘But when did you realize you loved me?’ I probe.

‘I think it was when I saw you surrounded by those idiots outside the club. Oh, my God. I have never felt such a mad rage in my entire life. I knew I could have killed them. And then when I looked into your face. I was so frightened that somehow I was too late, they had hurt you. You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t move. Jesus, I’ve got goose bumps now just thinking about it.’


He touches my face. ‘You just looked so broken and I didn’t know what to do. That was when I knew I loved you, and I would have done anything for you. Anything to wipe that look from your face.’

I frown thinking of that night. ‘I don’t know what happened to me that day. I just froze. I couldn’t move a single muscle.’

‘Fuck don’t tell me that, Snow. I won’t be able to let you go anywhere without me. It terrifies me to think that you are that defenseless.’

‘I’m not defenseless. I think I was already in a state because of the shock Nikki gave me, and then them … Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Nothing happened.’

‘Yeah, and nothing f*cking will. I’m getting you a bodyguard.’

I jump up in horror. ‘What? No way. I’ll feel silly.’

‘Hmmm …’ he says absently, and I can hear all the wheels in his head turning away.

‘I’m serious, Shane. I’m not having a man following me around as if I’m some celebrity. It’s just ridiculous.’

‘Then you won’t f*cking go anywhere without me then,’ he says flatly.

‘Oh, darling. I’m not going to let them ruin my life any more. I’m not afraid. Not anymore. Every day, ever since you came into my life, I have become stronger and stronger. My greatest regret is that I never went to the police and at least attempted to punish them. It’s not revenge although that would be sweet. It’s just that I know all of them will do it again to other young girls like me. They enjoyed it too much not to. My memories are all jumbled. Who knows, my evidence could have saved someone from what I suffered?’





Forty-one


SNOW

The day of our wedding dawns bright and cold. It is such a mad rush, the process of getting ready, but finally I am. Nobody allows me to see the mirror until my ensemble is complete, down to my satin covered shoes and my bridal bouquet.

‘Oh, Snow,’ Layla says in an awed voice. ‘You look like a fairy tale princess.’

I look at myself in the mirror and my mouth drops open in astonishment. I do look like a fairy tale princess!

The dress is everything I ever dreamed of. It has an illusion sweetheart neckline, a ball gown silhouette, and lace sleeves that are longer than my fingers, giving it the impression of a medieval costume. There are delicate lace details on the edges of the sleeves and a stunning appliqué on the bodice. On my head a glittering tiara made of stars sits.

I have to blink to stop myself from crying with happiness. I can’t believe I am getting married to Shane. It’s like a dream. It’s just too perfect.

‘No, no, no,’ cries Lily. ‘Don’t you dare cry and ruin all the make-up artist’s work.’

That makes me laugh.

There is a knock on the door. Layla runs to open it and my father comes into the bedroom. His eyes are filled with pride. At that moment I am suddenly painfully aware that my father, who is twenty-five years older than my mother, won’t be on this earth much longer. He kisses me gently on the cheek.

‘I haven’t been a good father to you, but I’m so proud of you,’ he says gruffly. There is regret etched on his face.

‘No, Papa. You’ve been wonderful. I wouldn’t exchange you for all the world.’ And it’s true, no matter how distant we have remained through the years, I have loved him. I truly, truly love him. As I look into his shining eyes I suddenly remember being a small girl sitting in his lap and him whispering in my ear. ‘You’re my princess,’ and then my mother coming into the room, and my father putting me away as obstructively as possible.

As the image recedes, there is a commotion at the door and my mother comes in. Automatically my father takes a step back, almost guiltily. And I see what I have never seen before. The unconscious pattern of our relationships. All of us afraid to show affection to anyone but my mother.

My mother takes a deep breath. ‘You look wonderful, Snow,’ she says.

And I smile at her. As if she really means it. As if she really loves me. I know she thinks the dress is too big and not elegant enough, but I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. I love her, anyway. I just have to remember what Shane said, ‘Love does not measure. It only gives.’