Beautiful Beast (Gypsy Heroes #3)(61)

‘Oh, Papa. No one cheated me. And I don’t want you to find me a good husband. I promise I just need to stay here for a while and then I will get my own place and be out of your hair.’

‘Your own place? Out of my hair? What is this Western nonsense? You are my daughter and you will stay with us for as long as you are unmarried.’

‘Oh, Papa,’ I sigh.

He grabs my hand. ‘This is your home. As long as I am alive you have a home here. Nobody can kick you out.’ My father exhales loudly.

‘I’ve missed you, Papa.’

He nods slowly. ‘I’ve made a mess of everything, Snow. A horrible mess. Do you know that you could recognize and follow my voice from the time you were born? You would turn your big, green eyes and stare at me. But I didn’t have time for you. I was too busy. And for what? I lost it all anyway. Now I sit here in this little room and turn the TV up too loud and pretend to be bad-tempered so no one will come in. I’m an old fool.’


‘You’re not an old fool, Papa,’ I say sadly.

‘Yes, I am. No one will know my regrets, except me. Now go and see your mother. She will be very happy to see that you have come home.’

‘I’ll see you at dinner, OK?’

‘Yes, yes,’ he says softly.

I stand up and kiss him.

I leave my father’s room and as I am closing the door I see my mother coming down the corridor. She is dressed in a housecoat. She stops mid-step. Her eyes widen.

‘Hello, Mum.’

She recovers herself and walks up to me. A year has made no difference to her. She is as beautiful and as distant as ever.

‘You look different,’ she tells me. She stares at me. ‘Something happened to you …’

I drop my eyes.

‘Something bad,’ she says.

I inhale a quick breath and meet her inquisitive gaze. ‘Yes, but I’m fine now.’

‘Tell me what happened to you,’ she says sternly.

I shake my head. ‘Oh, Mum. You know what happened to me.’ In spite of myself my voice breaks.

‘I warned you, but you’ve always been too wild, too rebellious, too clever for your own good.’ Her tone is cold and unforgiving.

And then I see it in her face. She is not sorry for me. She is glad that I have been punished. I have acted impulsively and I have been punished.

‘Is it OK for me to live here for a while?’ I ask softly.

‘Of course. Where else would you go?’

‘Thanks, Mum.’

‘I’ll go and tell Vijaya to lay an extra place for you for dinner. Why don’t you go and have a shower and freshen up? You can fill me in later. It’s been so long since I’ve been in London.’

And then she walks away. I turn to watch her go. What have I ever done to you to make you hate me so?

I know my time here will be short. I have a little money still and I must find a way to go to the city and find a job there. I will make it on my own. I can make it on my own. I will become a pre-school teacher.

I think of Shane. He seems to belong to a different world. I wonder what he is doing now, and immediately I feel a tearing pain in my chest. I take his photo out and look at it. Are you well? Are you safe, my darling? I trace his jaw line with my finger. I stroke his body and the tears come hard.

Oh, Shane, Shane, Shane.





Thirty-six


JAKE

I enter the smoky back room of the Chili Club, and Lenny is sitting behind his desk. I close the door and he rises and comes forward.

‘How are ya?’ he asks, pumps my hand and gestures to a chair. His friendliness doesn’t disarm me or take me off my guard. Lenny and I go back many years. I know him well. He is nicest before he sticks a knife in your back.

‘Good. You?’

He turns the corners of his mouth downwards. ‘Can’t complain.’

I sit, lean back, and watch him take his seat behind the desk. He opens a silver cigarette box and holds it out to me. Technically, I’ve stopped smoking. But I still indulge once in a while. I reach out and take one. He flips open a black lighter. I lean forward and wait for the tip of my cigarette to burn cherry bright.

‘Thanks,’ I say and leaning back, inhale deeply.

He lights his own cigarette and sits back, making his chair tip back. I watch him inhale and exhale. His eyes find mine through the haze of smoke.

‘Like old times, eh?’ he says.

‘Like old times,’ I repeat. My voice is easy.

‘What do you want, Jake?’ he asks slyly.

‘My brother came to see you?’

‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘We came to an agreement.’

I don’t show it, but deep inside I feel a flare of pride and joy. I came here thinking I’d have to bargain, threaten, and even murder if necessary, but Shane’s got it all covered. My baby brother’s grown up. He fought his own battle and won. How the f*ck did he do it though?

I take a lungful of hot smoke. ‘Right. So we’re good.’

He jerks his head backwards as if even the thought of war between my family and him would never occur to him. ‘You know me. I don’t keep grudges.’

And I know why too. Because Lenny always settles the score until he’s satisfied that he has had his pound of flesh. ‘Yeah, you’re a straight guy, Lenny.’