Be the Girl(35)

He shudders, rubbing his hands together. “Damn, it’s cold.”

“This is my favorite weather to run in,” I stretch my hamstrings. I was happy to trade in my shorts and T-shirt for my track pants and sweatshirt.

“What are you listening to?” He stops within my personal space, grabbing the dangling earbud and tucking it into his ear.

I shrug. “It’s a mix.”

“Nice.” He drops the bud and moves away to begin his warm-up.

And I acknowledge with perverse pleasure that I can’t wait to stick that back into my ear.

Maybe I am a weirdo.

“How are you doing?” I ask gently.

“Better, after sleeping.” He lifts his arms over his head, showing off a patch of taut skin above his shorts. My mouth instantly dries. “But Cassie’s pissed at me.”

I frown. “I didn’t think she could be pissed at anyone.”

He snorts. “Just me and my parents, I think. I was a bit of an asshole last night. I took her phone and deleted all of Holly’s contact info, and told her she’s not allowed to message Holly anymore. Of course, then she kept pushing to know why exactly, and it’s not like I’m going to tell her. It would crush her if she found out that Holly was only ever friends with her to get to me.” He frowns. “I don’t even know if Cassie would understand. Sometimes I can’t figure out what she actually understands.”

I’ve thought those very same things. “That has to be tough.” But I love that Emmett’s opening up to me about it.

“Yeah. I’m dreading class this morning.” He tucks his earbuds in and brings up his playlist on his phone. “Ready?”

I nod. “Let’s do this.”





The first bell rings as Jen and I walk into social studies.

Despite my best intentions to avoid eye contact, I zero in on Holly right away. She’s sitting at a desk near the back corner of the class, her puffy, tired eyes set on the door. Our gazes meet and hers quickly moves on, dismissing me entirely.

She’s waiting for Emmett.

And when she suddenly sits up taller and bites her lip in hopeful pause, I know he has arrived. He was still at his locker a moment ago. He must have run to catch up.

“Hey, Jen?” He sidles up behind us. “Can I sit with AJ today?”

“Uh …” Jen’s eyebrows arch as they veer to Holly, her face a mixture of reluctance and confusion. I can’t imagine her wanting to spend the next hour sitting beside her childhood bully.

I’m about to say as much when Emmett stops Holly’s friend, Lindsay, who normally sits with a guy I’ve nicknamed Sleepy Steve, because he literally sleeps through first period. Even McNair has given up on trying to keep him awake. “Hey, you mind sitting with Holly today?”

Lindsay shrugs, though her eyes dart curiously to her friend. It seems that Holly hasn’t shared the news of the breakup yet. Maybe she’s still hoping to reverse it before anyone finds out. “Yeah, no problem.” She heads to the back of the class.

Emmett gives Steve a look that might read as “You good with this, man?” Steve merely gives a lazy “I don’t give a shit” shrug. His head will hit the desk soon enough.

Emmett slides into the seat next to me just as the second bell goes and morning announcements come on over the PA. “Thanks for doing this, Jen.”

“No problem.” Her eyes lock on mine, widening with question.

I hold my hands up in surrender, as if I’m an innocent bystander. But I am, I remind myself. I’m the conscientious messenger.

“You’re good with this, right?” Emmett flips open his textbook. He peers at me with those gentle, dark-brown eyes. “If you want to switch back with Jen tomorrow—”

“No.” I shake my head in emphasis. “This is fine.” I smile.

And do my best to ignore the burn of scathing eyes boring into my skull for the next hour.





“Someone recorded her saying crap about his little sister in the bathroom and then sent it to him.”

I stare at Josie, momentarily dumbstruck. It’s the most she’s ever said in one sitting. And it’s about me.

“I heard she accused Mandy Lovatt but they figured out that someone must have been hiding in the stall, listening to them,” Jen adds.

Josie’s delicate face scrunches up. “Creepy.”

I lock my gaze on the homemade zucchini loaf Mom snuck into my lunch, picking it apart slowly as dread blossoms. What if people find out I’m the creepy one?

“I wonder what she said about Cassie.” Jen takes a bite out of her ham sandwich, her curious eyes drifting across the cafeteria to where Holly and Mandy sit.

“Couldn’t have been good because Emmett dumped her ass over it in the parking lot after school yesterday.”

Wow. Josie’s not only talking, she’s swearing too.

I feel Jen’s eyes shifting to me. Will either of them put two and two together and figure out why I was asking about Holly last Friday, after having gone to the bathroom? Will they remember that I was gone for a long time, that I came back pale-faced?

News of Emmett and Holly’s breakup is spreading like flames through dry brush. I started hearing the whispers in math, when Beckett Smith leaned across the row to tell Morris Davenport that “Hartford’s flying solo” again, followed by a fist bump.