Barely Breathing(20)

“Alan, I’m Viv. And I’m going to call a cab and take you to a hospital.”

“They don’t give a shit about some homeless guy,” he said, giving me a scowl that rivaled one of Kane’s.

“Stubbornness won’t work on me,” I said, standing up and pressing an app on my phone for a cab company. “Don’t pretend you’d rather stay here than have a warm bed and a hot meal and some help for that cough.”

Alan said nothing as I called for a cab with the app. I glanced over at Kane, whose expression was unreadable. He looked guarded; cautious.

I wanted to apologize about dinner, but not in front of Alan. Instead we all waited on the curb in silence.

The cab was cruising to a stop when I looked up at Kane.

“You can go grab our table if you want,” I said softly. “I’ll just get him checked in and then meet you here.”

He shook his head, his expression still stoic.

I was glad he hadn’t taken me up on the offer, because he lifted Alan in and out of the cab and also folded and unfolded his wheelchair. He even paid the cab driver.

Alan swatted my hand away when I tried to push him into the open double doors of the nearby hospital’s Emergency Room. I gave Kane an amused glance and walked beside Alan.

The ER was crowded. Alan told us to leave, but I couldn’t. Something told me he’d just wheel himself right back out if we did. Kane and I sat in plastic chairs across from each other because there weren’t two side by side in the whole room. We were quiet, because it wasn’t possible to talk in this room full of coughing, complaining and crying people.



Kane

This place was full of people, but I could only see one: the blue-eyed beauty across from me.

Viv was scrolling on her phone, but every couple minutes she’d look up and lock eyes with me. Hot, urgent need for her ran through my veins every time. It didn’t stop, even when she looked at Alan in a nearby chair. When she reached over and patted his knee, it was all I could do to stay in my seat. I wanted to be touching her right now. Showing her how she made me feel since I couldn’t say it with words.

Sitting across from Viv in this nasty, fluorescent-lit room of illness and misery was reaching me deeper than sitting across from her a fancy restaurant had. Here, I was getting a look at who she really was.

She was good. Kind. She cared about people. And as much as I admired her, tonight was a reminder that she and I were too different.

Night and day.

Dark and light.

Good and bad.

My darkness would dim her light if I got too close. Maybe that was part of the attraction. Maybe a person as shitty as me took perverse pleasure in corrupting beauty.

The closer I got to Viv, the closer I wanted to get. It was never enough, and it wouldn’t be until I’d crushed her. I wasn’t setting out to break her, but that was what I inevitably did.

She looked up at me again, her ocean blue eyes sparkling as she gave me a small smile. I smiled back. Couldn’t help it. With her, I’d never be able to help myself. I’d have to fight what I wanted and for once in my life, do the right thing.



Viv

More than two hours later, Alan gave us both a gruff thank you as he was being wheeled into an exam room. I led the way outside the Emergency Room doors and took in a deep breath of fresher than inside the ER air. Then I looked over at Kane with an apology in my eyes.

“We missed dinner,” I said.

He nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“Maybe we can get some pizza after all?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

He texted Len, holding my hand as we waited for him to arrive.

“I should’ve called Len to bring us here,” he said.

“I didn’t mean for you to pay for the cab ride. I was planning to get that.”

Kane shook his head. “Not because of that. I just wasn’t thinking. I don’t want you to think I’m too shitty to take a homeless person somewhere in the club car. I mean, I never have, but . . . I would.”

“I know that.”

He exhaled deeply, the cloud in front of his mouth dissipating. “I don’t know. I think I would. I guess I’m not the kind of person who’d take anyone somewhere for nothing.” He looked down at me and squeezed my hand. “I’m not like you. Not good.”

“Sure you are. Goodness takes many forms.”

He looked ready to continue arguing when the Town Car pulled into view, ending our conversation.

Thirty minutes later, we were tucked into a corner booth at a small family-owned pizza joint, waiting for our Supreme with extra cheese to arrive.

“What’s your first name?” I asked.

He paused for a second before answering. “Matthew.”

“No one calls you that, though.”

He shook his head. “My mom and grandma used to, but that’s about it.”

“Do you have family nearby?”

His gaze left mine, flickering down to the table. “My dad took off when I was a kid. Haven’t seen him since. Mom died from cancer when I was twenty-six.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged a shoulder but said nothing.

“Any brothers and sisters?”

“None I know of. But given my dad’s nature, I wouldn’t be surprised if he left other women high and dry with kids like he did my mom.”