Bad Things(32)

It eased the tension, and we all laughed.

Lucy looked at Bev. “And what about you? How are things with Jerry?”

Bev sighed heavily. “They’re good. They’ve been pretty good for a while, but recently, when I’d thought he’d done another stupid thing, all of my anger just came back, as though all of our progress together had just disappeared, which made me realize that my anger is still very present.”

Shit, shit, shit, I thought. I’d begun to feel like I’d made some sort of peace about having lied to her about Jerry and Tristan, but that guilt came flooding back in spades as I realized what she was talking about.

“And what exactly happened that made your anger resurface?”

Bev grimaced. “It was all a misunderstanding, but I thought he’d brought home another musician, which would have meant that he was out playing around with the band thing, instead of looking around for another firm, like he promised he would.”

“Anger often lingers, just looking for ways to come out, but you’re doing all of the right things. If you both keep doing the right things, that anger will slowly fade with time, instead of staying right under the surface.”

Bev nodded.

“Anyone else have anything they want to talk about? Something to get off your chest?”

“My hemorrhoids are flaring up,” Olga said loudly, her accent heavy.

I tried my hardest not to laugh, we all did, but as soon as I saw that Olga was grinning, I lost it.

“I can get you a referral for that,” Lucy said.

“Not necessary,” Olga said.

“Anyone else? Should we break for snacks and cocktails?”

“I don’t think I’m attracted to my husband anymore,” Jen said, smoothing her green skirt over her legs in a nervous gesture. “I have to stifle the urge to cringe away from his touch.”

“You’ve been struggling with this for quite some time. Since your three-year old was born, correct? Has it changed recently? Are your feelings of distaste more acute?”

Jen nodded, her eyes wide. “I don’t know what it is. He tries, he really does, but when I get even an inkling that he’s going to make a pass at me, I want to run in the other direction.”

“You say that you want to run in the other direction, but not that you do that. What is it that you actually do?”

Jen looked very vulnerable as she answered. “I just…do what he wants. I don’t say anything. I just get it over with.”

“Have you said anything to him about it? Does he know that you don’t enjoy your sexual encounters?”

Jen shook her head, wincing. “I haven’t said anything to him about it. I think he knows that I don’t climax anymore, but he doesn’t know that I hate having sex with him.”

“Well, a lot of things could have started the decline in your sex drive, but I think I can tell you why it’s suddenly gotten worse. Even though he may be clueless to the fact that you’re finding sex with him distasteful, you’re likely beginning to resent him for it. Have you considered telling him how you feel?”

“I don’t know how. I’m afraid it would make him mad, or even hurt his feelings, if I told him that I’ve basically just been suffering his advances for so long.”

“Hm. Maybe don’t tell him all that. And certainly don’t begin with that. You could just begin by telling him that your sex drive has gone away. How ever you open up the communication, though, the point is that you begin to talk about these things. Communication is an important component to all types of intimacy, even the physical kind.”

Jen nodded, took a deep breath, then smiled. “I’ll give it a shot. I vote it’s time for cocktail number two.”

I seconded that.

We ate, and drank, and talked for hours. As the therapy session wound down, the talk turned silly, as it usually did.

“Fuck. Ing. Hot.” Sandra said, referring to the owner of the Cavendish casino, and the gallery where she worked. She looked like she was feeling awfully pretty. “He came into the gallery a few days ago, and I about had a heart attack.”

“He is gorgeous,” Candy said, toasting the air.

“No,” Sandra said. “You don’t understand. He looks gorgeous in pictures, but in real life, he will blow your mind. Once you’ve seen his eyes up close, you can never go back.”

“You should make a pass at him,” Candy said.