Bad Things(104)

I nodded, giving him solid eye contact. “Well, I had already guessed about the hooking up, and he’s always been painfully honest with me about things like that, and we weren’t together when it happened, but later that night…we were, and I thought it was a really special night, and now, thinking that it so wasn’t, I just feel, I don’t know, bereft. I love being with him. He’s so great in a lot of ways, but he never expresses his feelings verbally, and so I have to take the special moments and treasure them. I just feel so sad, because I was robbed of one of the best ones. I feel like we lost something tonight, and I just need some time to process it. I just want to go somewhere and nurse my wounds, yanno?”

He nodded, his eyes so understanding that I felt myself tearing up.

I blinked those tears away, calling myself a stupid girl.





CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR





Jared and I ended up at the casino’s sports bar, betting on horse races, and drinking for free.

He was great at cheering me up, telling me funny stories about he and Tristan as kids, and just generally finding ways to cheer me up.

I was well on my way to a better mood, when he said something that had me stewing again, but for a different reason.

“If you need something stronger than a cocktail, just let me know. I can get you whatever you need within ten minutes.”

I didn’t respond for a while, thinking about that.

“Jared, you need to knock it off with that stuff. I’m not even sure what you were referring to—”

“Anything you—”

“No, thank you. Hard liquor is more than enough for me. You need to knock that shit off, Jared.”

“We’re only twenty-one, sis. Live a little. We can be responsible and boring when we’re thirty.”

“That stuff is bad for you, Jared. All of it. Alcohol is bad enough. You don’t need to be trying every crazy thing that you come across.”

He waved that off. “Don’t worry about it. I like to party, but I know what I’m doing.”

I sighed, thinking that it was impossible to talk a twenty-one year old out of being stupid. And I was the same age, so I should know.

He gripped one of my hands in both of his. “Listen. Whatever you think happened that night didn’t change just because of what happened before. And Tristan may not express himself, but I know him better than anyone, and I can tell you that he’s never been like this, not with anyone. He’s fallen for you, and seeing it, I think it’s the first time for him.”

“He was engaged to Natalie.” My tone turned resentful just thinking of that other woman.

“That was ages ago, and they were kids. Every guy in the world thinks he’s in love with the first woman he has sex with…If anything, what you should take from Tristan and Natalie is that he is capable of being blindly loyal, maybe too much so. He made promises to her, and he kept every one of them. She’s a piece of work for what she did to him, but that’s not on him. If he was capable of being loyal to a woman like that, just imagine what he’d be willing to do for someone like you.”

Tristan found us there hours later.

We were clutching hands and giggling, drunk off our asses.

We’d both gotten to the saying sweet things to each other’ phase of our drunk.

“There’s nothing I want more than to be your real sis, Jared,” I told him, eyes wide. Somehow, in drunk mind, that was meant to emphasize my point. “I’d adopt you if I could. No bullshit.”

He patted my hand, his own eyes getting crazy wide. “I’d adopt you back. No bullshit. But I have an even better idea. Marry Tristan, and it’ll be legal. Wouldn’t that be so awesome?”

We nodded together, slow, big nods. “Totally awesome,” I whispered. “If I could have one wish in the whole world, that would be it. I love you guys. I want you to be my family.”

He gripped my hand hard, his eyes and tone earnest. “I want that too. And we totally love you back. Tristan might not say it, but I know him better than anybody, and he totally does.”

“I love you,” I told him, feeling drunk, weepy time coming on.

“I love you back.”

“Isn’t this sweet?” Frankie asked wryly, from somewhere behind us.

I craned my neck and then whipped my head around to see where she was.

She and Tristan stood at our backs. She had her arms folded across her chest, a huge smile on her face.