Bad Mommy(10)

“Girls, this is my new neighbor, Fig,” Bad Mommy said. They all looked up at the same time; some of them were quicker to disguise the looks on their faces than others. A blonde wearing a strapless pink top and snakeskin heels stepped up first. She hugged me, while saying with too much enthusiasm, “Welcome to our club, Fig! Is that your real name? I always wanted a cute name like that, but all I got was Michelle. And everyone is named Michelle, so I just go by Chelle, but you can call me either. Are those workout pants? Wow, you’re dedicated. I haven’t worked out since my youngest was born and he’s four.”

My head was still spinning from her tirade when Bad Mommy started introducing me around the room.

There was Yolanda, a physical therapist with a broad, gummy smile and huge tits, and Casey, who within the first two minutes of knowing me proudly announced she was a homemaker, and asked if I had children.

“No,” I said.

“Oh, well mine are three months and six, and they’re wonderful. Lily is practically a genius, and Thomas is a great sleeper when he’s not insisting on being nursed, that is.” She laughed and adjusted her bra. Bad Mommy rolled her eyes. I hid my smile. Her husband, I decided, was the one who discovered fire.

Amanda, the hipster, wore red-framed glasses and studied me without a smile. Her dark hair was piled on the crown of her head in a messy bun, and she was wearing the least slutty outfit of the group. I made a mental note to steer clear of her. I didn’t like the way she was looking at me. People who took themselves that seriously were dangerous. She was the territorial type, I could tell. Probably considered herself Bad Mommy’s best friend. Charlotte and Natalie were sisters. Their eyes briefly bounced over to where I was standing, and they offered a halfhearted wave as Bad Mommy told me their names then went back to their conversation, which seemed to be about one of their husbands.

“Natalie caught her husband cheating,” Bad Mommy said quietly. “That’s probably what we’re going to be talking about all night.”

She didn’t say it in a judgmental way, it was more matter-of-fact, and I liked that she included me in something so private. I smiled appreciatively, eyeing the necklace that hung in the hollow of her clavicle. It was a small, blue stone on a silver chain. My eyes almost popped out of my head. She saw me looking and reached up to touch it.

“A gift,” she said. “From Darius. I was planning on having a similar stone set into a watch for him for our anniversary. I ordered it but I think it got lost in the mail.”

My stomach somersaulted. I thought of the little velvet box tucked away safe in the kitchen drawer. I wanted to touch it, look at it again now that I knew its intent.

I looked at Bad Mommy, feeling suddenly lighter than I had all night. She looked nice. She was wearing a black strapless jumper and red flats. I noticed the tattoos for the first time and frowned. What type of example was that for Mercy? People scribbling all over their skin. The last person she introduced me to was Gail. Being the friendliest of the bunch, she immediately hugged me, asked who I voted for in the last election, said she was kidding, and hugged me again. I didn’t think she was kidding. She walked me over to the martini shaker everyone was worshipping and asked if she could pour me a drink.

“I’ll just have one at the restaurant,” I said. “I don’t want to drink and drive.”

“We had to cancel our reservation.” Bad Mommy frowned. “Darius is tied up at the office, so we’re just going to hang here for the night.” I saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes then it was gone.

“We ordered sushi!” Gail said, changing the subject. “You do eat sushi, don’t you?” she asked.

I nodded my head and smiled. I hated sushi.

I let Gail make me a drink, while Bad Mommy brought Mercy into the kitchen to say goodnight.

“I can put her to bed if you want to hang out here,” I said. I knew I was probably overstepping a line, but I desperately wanted to hold her.

“I read three stories before putting little girls to bed,” I told Mercy. “I bet you don’t like that many stories.”

She held out her arms to me and my insides thrilled.

Bad Mommy looked unsure.

“You take a break. You need it,” I told her. I smiled reassuringly. “I’ll get you when our stories are done and you can come kiss her goodnight.”

That seemed to relax her. She glanced past me into the kitchen where the girls had started playing a drinking game then reluctantly relinquished her hold on Mercy, who jumped enthusiastically into my arms.

“Okay,” I said. “You have to show me where your bedroom is.” She squirmed to get down and then ran ahead of me down the hall. I followed her to the last door on the left and paused in the doorway while she ran straight for the bookcase.

It was marvelous. That was the only word I could think of for the little room she’d created for Mercy.

“Mercy. This is the best bedroom I’ve ever seen,” I told her. I stepped inside, sinking into the plush carpet. It looked like crayons had been stuck to the ceiling and then melted down the walls. The four posts of Mercy’s bed were lollipops, and there were stuffed animals perched on every available surface. Before I had time to really look around, Mercy was pushing me toward the bed, three books in her hand. I smiled, wishing I’d seen her count out the books. When we were snuggled next to each other, I put my arm around her and picked up Goodnight, Stinky Face. Was this what it would have been like? I’d decorated the nursery the week I’d found out I was pregnant, chose bedding with teddy bears on it, and bought a mobile of the planets to hang above the crib. When I lost my daughter I packed it all up and dropped it off at the Goodwill. All my dreams stuffed into a box with cans of chicken noodle soup on the outside. Mercy’s eyelids started drooping halfway through Goodnight Moon. I didn’t want her to go to sleep, I wanted to stay here with her and read all of the books on her bookshelf. I stayed and read her the third book even though she was fast asleep beside me. I always kept my promises. Then I lifted the covers to her chin, kissed her softly on the cheek, and padded out of the room.