BROKEN AND SCREWED(Broken_Part One)(56)

“Hey!”
Gentle hands touched my shoulders. I bent my head between my knees and gasped for breath. I couldn’t—I couldn’t even see now. “Jesse.”
“I’m here.” He lifted me out of the closet and carried me to the bed. As he sat, I curled into him.
“Dude, what the hell?”
“Just go with the team. I won’t make it.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
My hands grabbed onto Jesse’s blazer and I pressed into him. I gasped for breath. His hands rubbed down my back in soothing motions the whole time. Oh god. He looked so much like Ethan, too much like him.
“Jesse,” I whimpered.
I felt him press a kiss to my shoulder, then he growled, “Fucking go, Reed!”
I trembled in Jesse’s arms.
He cursed under his breath and readjusted his hold on me. His arms were more secure around me.
Reed went to the door, but he returned again. He sat on the other bed with a fierce frown. “What’s wrong with her?”
Jesse shook his head and cursed at him. “This is when you decide to be friendly?”
He shrugged. His voice came out wrangled. “My sister has night terrors. This hits home with me.”
“Oh, god.” The disgust was evident with Jesse, but he lifted me on his lap again. This time, he propped me up and smoothed my hair away from my forehead. His tone gentled. “Hey, hey. Come on. Look at me. Please stop crying, Alex.”
His desperation did the deed and I swallowed all the pain away. He needed me. I might’ve been losing it, but I knew that Jesse was on the verge as well. He needed me to come back and I needed to be the strong one now. My hand slipped into his as I took gulping breaths to stuff my hysteria down.
The guy looked like him. So what?
There were lots of guys that looked like Ethan, but then I looked at him again. Everything stopped in me. Oh god. He was the spitting image of him. How could this be? How could there be another Ethan in the world?
“Hey, hey.” Jesse sat me up even more and ran his hand up and down my back in a brisk motion. “Come on. Breathe, Alex. Breathe.”
I breathed. Then I gulped for more air.
“You want me to call Angie?”
I shook my head. Some tears slipped down my cheek, but I ignored them. I had to deal with it. It was about time I started dealing with it. But I couldn’t look away from the guy’s piercing eyes. Someone stabbed me in the gut. And then someone reached inside of me, took hold of my heart, and ripped it out. I felt like my heart was beating in a stranger’s hands and I was staring at it. The trembling started in. Jesse cursed again, but lifted me in his arms.
“Jesse!”
“This is enough.” The resolve on his face made me pause. It was set and determined. He was tired, hell, he was exhausted. And then he carried me into the bathroom, turned the shower on full blast, and dumped me into the tub.
I screamed.
“Dude!”
Jesse held Reed back. Jesse’s eyes caught mine as I gasped against the onslaught of cold water. I couldn’t look away. There was a fevered determination in him, and I knew he’d had enough. It was time to stop.
I stood then. Something centered in me that I hadn’t felt in a long time, maybe ever. Ethan was with us in the room right then. I felt him. The hairs on the back of my neck stood upright, but I gasped for more breath. The water was so damn cold.
Jesse’s eyes blinked rapidly. His set face faltered for a second. I knew he felt him too. But then his impassive mask slipped back into place. His eyes bored me down and he leaned against the doorframe. His captain was behind him with an expression akin to terror and amazement on his face.
I rasped out, “He’s here.”
Jesse nodded. The wall was back in place. I couldn’t reach him, but I wanted to. I needed to.