BROKEN AND SCREWED(Broken_Part One)(11)

A shrill voice snapped me out of my sleep and I jerked upright.
“Shut up.” It was a low command.
“I won’t shut up! Look at her! What’s she doing there, Jesse? I thought you wanted me tonight and we find her in your bed!”
I rubbed my eyes and tried to make sense of what woke me up.
Then I heard a curse and he snapped, “Fucking leave then.”
“What?” The girl calmed down and whimpered. “But I thought—”
“I don’t give a shit. Go.”
And then the door shut behind them and I lay back down, exhausted once again. It wasn’t long before it opened again and I sat back up. As I yawned, Jesse stood inside the door, frowning at me.
I continued my yawn. “You told me to come over last night.”
Then he yawned and rubbed a hand over his face. There were lines of exhaustion around his eyes and for a moment, they were sad. My heart skipped a beat. I resisted the urge to pull him into my arms. But then the look vanished and he grimaced at me. “I didn’t think you’d still come.”
I looked away, gathering the bedcovers around me. “You hoped I wouldn’t still come.”
Then he sighed. The bed sank underneath his weight and he sat against the headboard beside me. “Do you blame me?”
I swung around and searched him. The fatigue was back on his face, but the wall had fallen. Hope sparked inside of me. It leapt like a flame in a fire that’d been smoldering. It was hungry and wanted more, but I contained it. I kept my voice under control as I asked, “Why didn’t you want me to come?”
“Because I goddamn feel everything.”  His voice was gruff. “I’m sick of feeling, Alex. Only you. No other girl makes me feel this shit I don’t want to.”
And without thinking, I reached out and took his hand in mine. Our fingers slid against each other and then I nestled back underneath the covers. It wasn’t long before he sighed again and scooted behind me. His arm came over my waist and one of his legs slipped between mine. When his chest started to rise and fall in a deep slumber, I allowed a small smile.             
I didn’t know what was in store for the future, but I didn’t want to be anywhere else except in his arms. But then my gut kicked and I knew this temporary shelter would be ripped away once more.
Jesse was always ripped away from me.


CHAPTER FOUR

When we woke up, it was the afternoon. Normally we would be intimate the night before and go our separate ways the next day, but this time we went backwards. I woke up when Jesse nudged me onto my back and then moved above me. When my eyes opened, I knew what was happening and I wanted it. As his lips touched my neck, I wound my legs around his. Soon we were both groaning.
An hour later, after we were done and Jesse had collapsed on top of me, he groaned and got up. He padded barefoot into his bathroom. His shower turned on and I took that as my cue. Instead of my dress, I nabbed one of his larger shirts and shorts. I knew they weren’t Ethan’s so I knew Jesse wouldn’t care. As soon as I was dressed, I hurried out of there.
When I got home, I had an hour to shower and get to my shift at the mall. The house was empty as I rushed upstairs, but I was used to it. It seemed that my dad lived at his offices and my mother was usually in bed at all hours of the day. It wasn’t until I pulled into the mall’s parking lot that I realized I hadn’t heard the television in my parents’ bedroom. Mom always fell asleep to the news. For some reason, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, but I tried to shake the uneasy feeling. I’m sure my mother was okay. She was always okay, distant but okay.
Ben arrived at the coffee hut at the same time as me. It didn’t take long for the other two girls to leave and we got comfortable. It was a weekend night; we wouldn’t have that much business. And after an hour when we hadn’t had one customer, the sight of Angie and Marissa had me feeling giddy. Ben stopped in the middle of his story, but I was okay with that. I couldn’t hear much more about his dog, Mickey, who liked to hump other dogs and was the happiest English Cocker Spaniel there was in the world.