BEAUTIFUL BROKEN MESS (Broken, Series #2)(88)

My stomach clenches. I don’t know why it bothers me that she’s already been in love before but it does. We’ve talked about our past relationships, pretty much every single one of them, and I sure as hell don’t remember her saying she loved any of those bastards. I hover over her, waiting for her answer.

She eyes me with nervousness and a little confusion. “Lane was the first.”

We both stare at each other, trying to figure out what the other is thinking. Then it clicks, and I dread the question I need to ask. “Wait, are you talking about all kinds of love? You mean, even when you were a kid, no one told you they loved you?”

“Who would have done it?” she asks with an almost childlike-innocence.

I’m struck speechless, because even after all of our late-night talks about our childhoods, I never put it together that no one loved this girl. The selfish part of me wonders if she’d had a different childhood, would she be here in my arms right now? But a bigger part of me would rather her have grown up feeling the love she deserved.

“You deserved it, baby. Just know that. You deserved someone to love you every single day,” I say, while cupping her face. She stares deep into my eyes and I can see her searching for the words to say.

I try to let her off the hook and say the first thing that comes to mind. “You know, I watched Jax tell Em he loved her for months, never hearing a reply. I used to wonder how hard that was on him. How painful that must be. But now I understand that when you love someone, as much as you would kill to hear it back, you also just want them to know. I’ll give you all the time you need, babe. I just need you to know how I feel about you,” I say. And it’s true. I don’t feel pain or anger about not hearing it back. Just relief to finally have that out in the open.

Quickly, she pulls the back of my head toward her and says, “I don’t need time, Jace. I’ve been crazy about you since the day you picked me up off the sidewalk. I think I’ve loved you since you gave me my penny.” I watch as she clutches the copper coin dangling from her neck. “I love you too...so much.”

The words are a choked bubble in my throat so I mouth them to her while squeezing her. I love you.

She looks down at my hand that keeps gripping her arm. “You’ve done this three-squeeze-thing before. I remember you did it that night we hooked up in Texas. You also did it that night out on the beach when I told you and Jaxon what happened to me. What does it mean?”

“First of all, stop calling what we did a ‘hook-up,’ it sounds too fleeting. Second of all, I honestly don’t know where it came from. I just had all of these emotions toward you that I didn’t know how to convey out loud. I guess it means I.” Squeeze. “Love.” Squeeze. “You.” Squeeze.

“I’m not sure what I did to deserve you,” she whispers.

“That’s funny because I’ve been wondering the same thing about myself.”

She still has my face in between her soft hands but I push forward to capture her lips. My hands slowly graze down her body, and when I feel more skin than clothing, I remember where we are. Out in public. Audrey is still wearing her skimpy bikini and I’m sure as hell tired of the admiring eyes.

Still holding her, I quickly stand up before setting her down on her bare feet. She whimpers when our lips part and I smirk at her eagerness.

“Soon, babe,” I whisper on her lips. “But for now, you need clothes and I need to have that talk with my brother.”

“My suit is still wet, I can’t put my clothes on now,” she replies.