BEAUTIFUL BROKEN MESS (Broken, Series #2)(18)

I begin to tune him out at this point because he’s on a roll that he apparently needs to get out. He has no idea that I only live two hours away and that I sure as hell didn’t come up here to see him. The only good part about this little tantrum is that I can sit here and take him in.

He’s all grown up now and I can only imagine that Jace has done the same. Typically, a voice like his wouldn’t bother me, but I’ve associated this voice with my big mistake. It was my first hint that something was wrong, the first clue that I should have grabbed onto and shook until I discovered he wasn’t Jace. As I sit here, taking in his large shoulders and long, lean legs, I tune back in to hear him still reprimanding me. If he knew me at all, he would know that I’m an expert at blocking out harsh words. After dealing with it for eighteen and a half years, they just roll off my back now.

“Where’s Jace?” I ask, not caring if I’m interrupting him or not.

He freezes for a second and frowns at me, and I wonder if he’s trying to figure out why I’m asking him about his brother. “Audrey, are you listening to anything I’m saying? This is not a good time. I need to find Emerson, and you can’t be here when I bring her back.”

I don’t know who Emerson is, but damn… poor girl. Jax and I “dated” for three months, and I’m still surprised I stuck around that long. Jax is wild and just too much to handle. He has a nice side, but even that got on my nerves. He could never make a decision to save his life. Every time we sat in his Camaro trying to choose where we should eat, we’d go back and forth, telling the other to just pick something. Meanwhile, all I could think about was that I bet Jace would’ve just taken charge and we’d already be eating by now.

“I don’t need to be here when Emerson comes, Jaxon. Just point me toward Jace.”

“Jace is f*cking busy!” he yells. “He’s out there making something out of himself. Shouldn’t you be in Texas taking care of your child and screwing physics teachers?” I know he’s upset, and maybe in his mind, he has a right to be. But something else has to be going on in his life because Jax was never mean. Even when everything went sour between us, he had never been intentionally cruel the way he’s being now.

“You don’t know a damn thing about my life,” I state in a hard tone and stand to make my way toward his door. I may be able to let cruel words roll off my back, but in the last few years, I’ve also acknowledged that I don’t have to listen to them. And Jaxon brought up the one thing I wasn’t going to talk about. Lane is the only person on this planet who knows what really happened. Lane is the only person who ever cared to ask. No one asked. Not my mother, not my father, not Jaxon--no one cared enough to even ask.

As I make my way out of Jax’s bedroom, I find myself face-to-face with the one person that haunts my dreams. I want to hug him and I want to hit him. I hate that I still think about him. I mean, we met, we had coffee once, and we kissed twice. Why after three years do I still feel a connection with him? Have I just built him up in my head? Maybe it’s because he was the first person, outside of Mrs. Thomas and Nico, to show me real kindness. Or maybe it’s the fact that every time I saw him after that fateful day, he looked at me with such longing I swear I could feel it in my bones.

“Audrey…” he whispers in shock. He gives me that look, and I can immediately tell he still feels it. Maybe it’s purely just an attraction, but the electricity buzzing within me proves there is still something between us.

Behind me, I hear Jaxon curse under his breath. “Ignore her, Jace. Get back in here, Audrey,” he says, pulling me back into his room. I almost cry at being so close to Jace, and once again not being able to do anything about it.