BEAUTIFUL BROKEN MESS (Broken, Series #2)(102)

Her words startle me and I ask, “Why would you say he had a crush on me?”

“He was always watching you guys. I just thought he missed his brother at first. After a while, I caught him specifically watching you. Not Jax, just you. You know those black-and-white photographs he has in his room?” I nod my head, thinking of them lined up above his bed. “You’re in one of them.”

My mouth drops open and I try to remember what they look like. I remember one of them is a picture of his dock back home that extends out over their favorite pond. Jaxon and I spent many hot afternoons jumping into that cold water. There are people in the distance in some of them, mostly silhouettes.

I think about the middle picture and how it has a person sitting on the dock with their feet hanging over the edge, dipping them into the water. The picture was taken so far off in the distance I wouldn’t have been able to tell it was me. It’s only the silhouette of a person. I sat on that dock numerous times so it could have been any number of days.

I recall one time when Jax and Jace had been swimming and then went riding the truck through the mud. I had been waiting for Jax to finish cleaning the truck off, so I decided to splash my feet in the pond. I thought Jace had gone home, but I guess he stuck around to snap some pictures out on the land. The rest of his pictures hanging on the wall are from around the property as well. My favorite is one of his mom taken from pretty far away while she was hanging sheets out to dry.

“Honey, what happened with the baby?” She interrupts my happy memories with a dreadful one. My stomach drops and I squeeze my fists together. “Please. Just talk about it. It’ll help.”

The first time I looked at this little white stick with its two pink lines, I cried my eyes out. I cried out of sadness, frustration, humiliation, and shock. I was scared. I cried because I didn’t think I had anything to offer this child. Now, I gaze at the stick with hope. I can do this. I can love this baby and that’s enough.

I know I need to move out of this house. Being around my dad just isn’t okay anymore. I’ve never actually thought about it in that light before. It’s amazing what even the prospect of being a parent can do for you. Before, my dad’s aggression was just a phase that I needed to wait out. I would bear it. I would graduate and then I would leave Texas.

But now this tiny little plum-sized baby is my number-one priority. Now I realize that I can’t allow my body to be harmed. I need to get out of here and find a safer home for the two of us.

As I pack my bags, I have a fleeting thought of seeing Jace one more time. I wish I could see those sea-blue eyes for just a second longer. In a way, if this baby had been Jaxon’s, at least I could pretend it was part of Jace as well.

But it’s not.

Mr. Howard stole that from me.

When he told me that I wouldn’t pass if I didn’t attend his after-school study session, I was confused. I thought I was doing well in his class. When I showed up and I was the only student present, that should have been my first warning. But I was na?ve, so I followed him into his storage room to grab the supplies we supposedly needed. I’ll never forget the echo the metal lock made when he slid it into place.

I chase away the bad memories by shoving more clothes into my backpack. One good thing about never really owning much is that I don’t have a lot to carry out of here. I’m hoping that today at work I can talk to Nico about helping me find some place to stay.

“Don’t worry, little plum, I’ll find somewhere safe for us,” I whisper.

I quickly stash my loaded backpack underneath the couch and pull on my t-shirt for work. It’s getting a bit snug and I’m sure people at work have noticed. I’m still in that awkward stage where others are probably wondering if I’m pregnant or just sneaking in a few too many of our famous breadsticks. Well, they’ll all know soon enough.