BAD REP(58)

I practically tip toed further into the room, feeling exposed and on display.  Everyone was staring at me.  Everyone knew!  You didn't have to be the most observant person on the planet to see that.  It was on every one of their faces.  My supposed friends all looked the same.  They looked disgusted.  Outraged even.  A few of them looked almost jealous.

And the guys leered at me as though I had come in with my clothes off.   “Having a good time tonight, Maysie?” Gio sneered as I tentatively headed to the kitchen.  I didn't even bother to respond.  I needed to find Gracie.  I needed to talk to Olivia.  I needed to pick my dignity up off the floor.

My eyes flickered up and found Olivia watching me.  Our normally happy, party loving president looked at me as though I had just killed her favorite pet.  Anger and betrayal painted her face in an ugly mask.  I couldn't deal with her right now.

I bolted toward the kitchen, hoping to find Gracie there.  Cira and Vivian were at the keg, talking with their backs to the door.  I took a deep breath.  Here goes nothing.

“Hey girls.  Have you seen Gracie?” I asked, tacking the fakest smile I could muster onto my face.  The girls stopped talking, the responding silence louder than anything else.  Cira looked over her shoulder at me, her eyes cold.  She traded glances with Vivian who looked a little more sympathetic.  But both of them ignored me, turning their backs again as they filled their Solo cups with beer.

I grit my teeth and tried again.  “Look, I'm not sure what's going on.  But have you seen Gracie? I need to talk to her.” I figured feigned ignorance was the best course of action.  Cira flicked her hair over her shoulder and turned to face me.  Her look of disdain cut me to the quick and took the air from my lungs.

“You don't know what's going on?  Really?  Are you stupid as well as a slut?” she asked hatefully.  I reared back as though she had slapped me.  I felt my face go pale.

“What the hell?” I hissed, feeling my anger start to simmer.  Who were they to judge me?  I chanced a look at Vivian and she looked less disgusted.  In fact, she seemed almost sad.  Cira took a step toward me and for a moment I wondered whether my “sister” would strike me.

“I think it's time you left,” she said in a quiet voice.

I drew myself upright, finding it hard to say anything. I had made my bed, I supposed.  It was time for me to lie in it. I had allowed things to get out of hand with Jordan and now I was paying the price.  I knew I was playing with fire but for those few minutes upstairs I just hadn't cared.  It had only been Jordan and me.  And for a brief time, that was all that had mattered.

But now I had woken up in the middle of a very real social nightmare.  I turned on my heel and started to leave the kitchen when I heard hurried footsteps behind me and a hand grab me by the elbow.  I looked up in surprise to see Vivian.  Her eyes flashed in sympathy as she dropped her hand.

“I think Gracie's out back.  But you should probably get out of here.  Otherwise I'm pretty sure it's going to get ugly.”  I gave her a weak smile.

“Thanks, Viv,” I told her sincerely.  She smiled in return but it was full of pity.

I had to go back out through the living room to get to the door that led to the backyard.  Going through the crowd of Pi Sigs and Chi Deltas was like trying to navigate through a room full of vipers.  I heard someone snickering from behind me and a coughed “skank” said a little too loudly.

My eyes started to sting and my cheeks burned.  I will not cry!  I WILL NOT CRY! I screamed at myself as I walked, with my head held as high as it would go.  I didn't look anyone in the eye.  I moved by them all as if I were the Queen of f*cking Egypt.  Bunch of hypocritical bastards.  Like none of them had ever made a mistake in their lives.  How easy it was to judge others when really they should be examining themselves.

I pushed through the screen door and looked around for Gracie.  I found her talking to a few of our sisters at the patio table.  I walked toward them.  The girls looked up as I came closer and every last one got to their feet.  Gracie looked startled and more than a little concerned.
“Later Gracie,” Bella, Victoria and Taylor said as they pushed passed me.  At least they refrained from calling me any derogatory names as they left.

Gracie grabbed my arm and squeezed.  I winced.   “What the hell is going on, Maysie?  It's not true is it?” she asked in hushed panic.  I could see that she had sobered up but she looked at a complete loss.   I sank into the chair beside her and put my face in my hands.