Archer's Voice (A Sign of Love Novel)(95)

"Hi," I croaked out, smiling and bringing the sheet up over my breasts. He smiled back, a shy smile, and sat down on the side of the bed. He kept rubbing the towel through his hair absently for another minute as he looked down, and then he put the towel next to him on the bed and looked up at me.
I'm sorry about last night. I lost it, Bree, I was so scared and I didn't know what to do. I felt alone and helpless again. He paused, pursing his lips and obviously gathering his thoughts. I… freaked out, I guess. I don't even remember doing what I did to the living room.
I grabbed his hands and shook my head. Archer, do you remember how I reacted when I got caught in that net out there? I gestured my head to the window. I get it. Sometimes fear gets the best of you. I get it. I'm the last person you have to apologize to about that. You picked up where I left off once, and now I get to do that for you. That's how it works, okay?
He nodded, looking at me so solemnly. The problem, Bree, is that I feel like it's getting better for you and worse for me.
I'm up for the challenge, I said, raising my brows and smiling at him slightly, trying to coax a smile from him too.
It worked, and he let out a breath and nodded. Are you hungry?
Famished.
He smiled, but it still looked a little sad. I looked at him for a minute and then leaned forward and threw my arms around him. "I love you," I whispered in his ear. His body tensed slightly, but he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me back tightly.
We sat there like that for a few minutes and then I said against his neck. "I need a shower–bad. Like, really bad."
He finally laughed just a little as he picked me up and sat me down on the floor and stood up, straightening his towel. I like you all dirty with me all over you, he said.
Oh, I know. I winked, trying to coax another smile from him as I walked toward his door, using my voice as I turned toward him. "You can dirty me up again later. Right now, I'm getting clean and you're going to feed me."
Yes, ma'am, he said, giving me another small smile.
I smiled back at him and then I turned out of the room and walked down the hall toward the shower. I closed the bathroom door behind me and just stood on the other side for a minute, trying to figure out why I was still so worried.



CHAPTER 29

Bree

I went back to work the next day to Maggie who gave me a giant bear hug, pressing me tightly into her ample bosom as I laughed and struggled to breathe, and Norm who said simply, "Bree," but gave me a rare Norm smile and head nod before he moved his focus back to the griddle where he was flipping pancakes. For some reason, the bear hug and the head nod both filled me with equal amounts of warmth. I was home.
I chatted with the locals I'd come to know as I worked, making my way easily around the diner, delivering the food and checking on my customers.
I thought about Archer as I worked too, considering how difficult it was for him to become attached to another person. I had had an idea before I left for Ohio, but not to the extent that I now understood. I loved him–I would do whatever was necessary to reassure him that I wasn't going anywhere. But I understood his struggle too. I saw that it made him feel weak that I knew how reliant he was on me.
He had acted almost shy with me the day before, his eyes moving away from mine when he saw me watching him as we cleaned up his living room together. I had picked up Ethan Frome from the floor when I'd recognized the title, and opened it to read a passage, putting my hand dramatically on my chest and feigning a breathy, pained whisper, "I want to put my hand out and touch you. I want to do for you and care for you. I want to be there when you're sick and when you're lonesome." I had paused, my hand falling from my chest. I placed the book down and brought my hands up, That was beautiful, actually, I said.
He had smiled at me and said simply, I guess if it wasn't beautiful, the tragedy ultimately wouldn't be sad.
But then he had lapsed into more silence, seeming almost embarrassed around me. I tried to bring him out of it by joking with him and acting completely normal, but he was still slightly withdrawn even when I'd kissed him goodbye that evening, gathered Phoebe up and gone home to unpack and get ready for the next day. It would take a day or two for him to feel better, I supposed.
Over the next several days, he did return to his more normal self, the only difference I could still see, was that there was a deep intensity to his lovemaking that hadn't been there before. It was almost as if he was trying to meld us into one person when we connected. He was almost rough in his passion. I didn't mind it, in fact, I found all sides of Archer's bedroom personalities to my liking. But I couldn't explain the change exactly, and I longed for him to open up to me and tell me what he was feeling. When I asked him though, he just shrugged and smiled and told me that he'd missed me while I was gone and was trying to make up for lost time. I didn't buy it, but as always, Archer Hale came around when he was good and ready and not a moment before. I had learned quickly–push and get nowhere, wait and hope that he trusted me enough to open up sooner rather than later in his own quiet way. I thought it had something to do with the fact that he liked to understand his own emotions before he shared them with me, and he didn't know exactly where he was at the moment.