Anything He Wants: The Betrayal(22)
“We’ll get it sorted out,” he replied, kissing my forehead. “I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”
For a familiar argument, a familiar answer. His patience was frustrating, especially since I wanted answers now. It’s only been a few days, I admonished myself. You can’t expect immediate results on a case with no leads. Still, I hated being on the sidelines, unable to help in any meaningful way.
I pushed insistently at one shoulder, and Jeremiah rolled sideways onto his back, pulling me along with him so I was lying atop his body, straddling his waist. Tired as I was, I still raised myself from him, staring down at his beautiful face. He watched me, too, the fire in him slaked for now, his face as open as I’d ever seen. His hands smoothed up and over my breasts, then down to rest on my hips as he waited on me.
Everything in me sang at the sight below me. A girl could live forever and not get tired of this. I traced the lines of his muscles, then leaned down so my breasts pressed against his chest. Skimming his lips with mine in a feather-light kiss, I gave him a half smile as I whispered, “I love you.”
“No.”
My world stopped. For an instant I thought I was falling, but nothing had changed. I sat up straight, confusion racing through me as I stared down at the suddenly stony expression of the man beneath me. My mouth worked, trying to think of something to say, but it was as though my brain had shut down. Jeremiah’s hands circled my waist and, as if I weighed nothing, he lifted me off and to the side, then sat up, swinging his feet off the bed. I blinked, the meaning of what had just happened beginning to sink in, and watched as he stood and picked up his clothing.
I looked back down at the bed, trying desperately to keep my breathing steady. Stupid, so very, very stupid. My fists balled up around the pillowcase as I held in my emotion, trying for the stoicism I’d always seen in his face. “Why?” I asked, unable to think of any other question to ask. There was a small break in my voice at the end of the word, but I forced my eyes up, thankful that I hadn’t yet shed a tear.
He ignored me for several seconds, quickly buttoning his shirt, then pulling on his pants without looking at me. Finally he turned back to face me, his face as closed off and emotionless as I’d ever seen. The drastic change from only a minute ago was like a death knell in my heart.
He must have seen the distress on my face because he sat down on the bed beside me. “I don’t think…” he started, then paused a moment in thought. “I’d prefer it if we kept any mention of love out of our relationship for the foreseeable future.”
“Why?” I repeated, more forcefully this time. I was slowly breaking apart inside, and keeping myself together was becoming more difficult by the moment, but I needed an answer.
Jeremiah studied me, a clinical examination that was void of any of the tenderness I’d experienced at his hands since our meeting. “Let’s think about this logically,” he finally said. “You’ve known me for roughly two weeks now. Is that enough time to build any type of emotional attachment?”
He was being rational, voicing arguments I’d used on myself when the L-word first popped into my head, and part of me still agreed with him. But with every word he uttered, the cracks in my heart grew wider, expanding and multiplying and going deep to the quick. “I’m not asking you to say the same,” I finally managed, but the words tore at my soul.
“Maybe not,” he replied, “but…” He cupped my face, and I flinched. “Why ruin what we have with platitudes like this?”
Pain blossomed, but I kept my face steady. I’d learned from the best, after all. When I reached out to touch him he stood, perhaps a bit too quickly, and retreated back. Grabbing his phone, he added, “Now that you’ve been cleared in the preliminary investigation, you’re free to leave the grounds for anything. With the police presence being what it is, I think we’re safe from any more attacks for now. One of the guards can drive and escort you anywhere you want; just stay in contact as to your whereabouts.”
A dull ache spread through me as he walked across the room to the door. There he paused, staring at the brass door handle. I thought for a moment he’d turn around and address me again, maybe explain himself further, but he merely turned the knob and left. The latch closed with a finality that was shattering, had numbness not taken over my heart.
Dimly, I felt myself climb out of the bed and go through the motions of dressing myself in clothes still strewn about the room. Cleaning myself up in the bathroom was almost an afterthought, a delaying tactic to keep from showing myself to the world, but when I finally stepped out of the bedroom into the rest of the house, only silence greeted me. From the day I’d arrived at the mansion estate, the house and grounds had been teeming with people, usually the guards or other staff. Now that the danger was past for the time being, they had been moved to their regular assignments, and the sudden famine of souls in the house echoed the painful emptiness within me.