Angel in Scarlet (Bound and Determined #4)(86)

She had certainly seen that he cared—and perhaps more. But, still, she wanted…She didn’t know what she wanted, but she wanted something. It was hard to feel this vulnerable, this unsure.

Colton knotted the laces behind her and then, placing a hand on each shoulder, he turned her.

“Angela, I am sorry for whatever it is that I did or didn’t do, did or didn’t say. I never expected to find what we have just experienced, and it has left me without the proper words.” He pulled her forward, pressing her against his naked body, letting her feel every inch through the thin fabric of shift and dress. “I do want to marry you. I do want to spend my life with you. It is not simply circumstance but fate that has brought us together, and I am not a man who normally believes in fate. I asked you to marry me because I truly wanted to, because I sense that I need you to be happy.”

Now, that was much better, closer to what she wanted, what she needed. She tilted her head up, staring at the underside of his chin. “I know I am not being fair to you. I don’t know what I want, so how can I expect you to know. I thought that all I wanted was for you to ask me to marry you, but when you did, it was not enough. Then I thought that I simply wanted us to both want to be married. And when that became true, still I wanted more.”

He looked down at her, bent, and placed a kiss upon the end of her nose. “I do think we will get to what I expect you want, but for now we must be content with what we have—and with the dream of more. Why don’t you rinse your face and then I will do my best to play lady’s maid with your hair. Afterward I will meet you at the folly and we can walk hand in hand up to Lady Perse’s and announce our engagement. Does that suit you?”

And, strangely enough, she found that it did.

—

That had gone much better than she’d expected. Angela sat before the low-burning fire in her room and waited for Bliss to appear. Her friend had not said she was coming, but Angela knew she would be here. The announcement of her marriage had taken all by surprise, and there was not the slightest chance that Bliss would not be by to talk.

There was the lightest scratch on the door, and then Bliss slid in without waiting for an answer. “And how did you manage that? You’re not with child, are you? That would explain everything, but…”

“No, I am not with child.” Or if she was, it was too early to tell—much, much too early.

“Then why are you marrying him?” Bliss fell into the chair across from her, all grace forgotten.

“You know I wanted to marry him.”

“Well, I am not sure that I did know that. I know that you wanted to earlier, but I thought that now all you wanted was to make him want to marry you.” Bliss stared across at her, her eyes burrowing.

“I did—but perhaps not really. I mean, I always wanted him to want me, to want to marry me, but I think perhaps I never really meant to say no.”

Bliss straightened in her chair. “And this is really what you want to do?”

“You are full of questions.”

“Then answer them.”

“I do want to marry him. Truly, I do. I just wish there was more time to be sure.”

“Then take more time, delay the marriage. I know he spoke of a wedding before Christmas, but you could say you wish to be married in the spring.”

“It is too late for that.”

Bliss’s glance sharpened. “I thought you said you were not with child.”

“Well, I don’t know that I am.”

“Oh. But still you could wait and see.”

“But if I am not, I imagine I would be soon. I cannot imagine stopping what we have begun.”

Bliss blushed slightly. “Oh dear, I do understand that. No, I don’t think Duldon would have been content to go back once we…”

“Exactly. And there are other complicating factors that I do not wish to discuss.”

—

Colton stared across the room at Thorton, determined in what he must do. He nodded to the terrace door, now firmly closed against cold and wind.

Thorton shook his head. “It’s miserable out there. The wind’s been rising all day. Why do we not retire to the billiards room?”

“No, outside.”

Thorton looked as if he was about to protest, but something in Colton’s gaze must have stopped him. “Let me fetch my hat.”

“No, now.” Colton strode to the door and shoved it open, letting it rattle behind him. He did not look to see if Thorton would follow.

He stood for a moment, staring across the dark lawns down toward the lake, which twinkled under the stars. Was he really prepared to risk everything? He finally had what he wanted and imagined that he was close to giving Angela what she needed. This morning had confirmed his feelings, and he knew the words were there inside him, waiting, but this must be managed first.

He heard the crunch of Thorton’s boots behind him.

He turned. “Do you prefer swords or pistols?”

“What?”

“Do you prefer swords or pistols?”

“Have you been drinking?” He could hear the disbelief in Thorton’s tone.

“No.” He spoke as coldly as he could, although his blood still boiled with anger at what Thorton had tried to do. “When we spoke before, I had no true standing. Now Miss Ripon is my betrothed, and I will not have her name or her reputation slandered. Swords or pistols?”