Among the Echoes(79)

She only responds with a shrug and the tiniest of smiles. "Anyway, I know you know everything that happened that night. So you know why they wanted me to leave Leo. I’m actually glad you read it. There were a lot of times I wanted you to know the truth but just couldn’t bring myself to talk about it."

"I just read it tonight. Have you read it?" I ask nervously.

"I lived it. I don’t need to read it." Thank God for that! She would freak if she read Leo’s little ‘drastic’ line. "Did it explain why he sat by while I was being raped?"

"Erica, there isn’t a rational reason why any decent human would ever do that. I know you think Leo has protected you all these years, but that’s warped. He stood guard while men raped you just so he wouldn’t blow his cover. That is f*cked up, no matter how you look at it."

She let out a strangled laugh. "Is that what he wrote? That he didn’t want to blow his cover? He is such a dick!" she yells into the night.

"Actually, he didn’t give a reason at all. I just assumed."

"Well, you assumed wrong, Slate," she snaps. "Leo was compromised. Wilkes didn’t trust him at all even though Dom did. Wilkes sent two men to watch Leo. They confiscated his weapon as soon as they walked into the house. There wasn’t a single moment of that day that there wasn’t a gun pointed at his back. He either had to play along or they would have killed him flat-out. I’ll give you one guess what would have happened to me if they’d killed Leo."

"Jesus Christ."

"When it was Leo’s turn, he managed to talk them into giving him his gun back just in case I got loose when he flipped me over."

"Flipped you over!" I roar, jumping to my feet.

"Leo never touched me, Slate," she says calmly from the ground.

I have no idea how she is telling this story without breaking down. I wasn’t even there and it’s killing me to hear.

"Anyway, you know the rest. I don’t have Stockholm syndrome or anything. Leo wasn’t my captor who I suddenly fell in love with. He may have taken me there, but he did the very best he could to make sure we both survived. He won’t forgive himself, so if you are on a mission to get someone into therapy, start with him."

"Erica, it’s not right. You need to get mad and stop being so sympathetic towards him. Fine, he’s not a horrible guy, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy for you to be his best friend."

"And that is your opinion. It might be odd to others, but it works for us. Leo and I were forced together after that night. He hates himself for what happened, and as much as I needed him to feel safe, he needs to know I’m safe to be able to sleep at night."

"You both need help," I answer, settling back down on the blanket.

"Probably. But that’s for us to decide."

"Just so you know, if I ever see him again, I’m going to f*ck him up. It’s my duty as your man to kill him for what he did. I’ll let him live, just because I know you love him, but that’s all I can promise," I say seriously, but she only laughs. I lie down and she immediately curls into my side. "Don’t try to stop me, Erica. I’m serious." My words cause her to laugh even louder.

"Okay, Tarzan. You can do whatever you need to—as my man," she teases but rolls on top of me. "I love you."

"Christ, I love you too, beautiful." I lean forward to find her mouth.

It’s a brief kiss, but only because she slides off me, settling once again on her side. She’s right beside me, but her mind is a million miles away. I’m hoping she’s thinking about our conversation and taking some of it seriously. Erica needs help. She’s probably right about Leo too, but right now, I think he has bigger issues to deal with—like staying alive.

We lie in silence, staring up at the sky for a while before Erica says anything else.

"When all of this is over, where do you see us going?"

"Like physically moving or our relationship in general?"

"Both."

"I don’t really know, because a lot of that depends on what you want to do. I can tell you that, no matter when or how it ends, I’m in this forever with you, Erica."

She squeezes me tight and sighs. "Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I imagine what it will be like to not live in fear anymore. I think of all these silly scenarios where you and I do the most normal things together. Things like going to a garden center to pick out flowers for the beds in front of our house."