Among the Echoes(41)

"You *! That isn’t your call! You threw me into an impossible situation. You know better than anyone that he is not a chance we can afford to take. Say what you want. Your heart may have been in the right place, but you put us both in danger. We can’t trust a man like that!"

"Slate Andrews is the only man I would have ever trusted you with. He’s the God damn patron saint of abused women." He lets out a string of curse words and runs a hand through his hair. "I’m sorry, Riley, but you needed someone."

"What?" I ask, completely confused.

"You can’t do this all alone."

"No! I mean the abused part."

"Look him up, babe. He spends millions of dollars every year advocating for women. He privately funds three rehabilitation programs and a safe house for women who have been victimized by physical or sexual abuse. Riley, Slate himself is the product of a rape."

"No," I gasp, throwing my hands to my mouth.

I think back on when he told me I reminded him of his mother, and it makes my stomach turn at how right he really was. I can’t even imagine how it would have felt to relive my past every day in the eyes of an innocent child. And for him to know that about how he was created makes my heart break for him too. I can only imagine how he grew up feeling.

For the briefest of moments, I find a feeling of hope swelling in my chest. Maybe he really could understand bits and pieces of my life if I were allowed to open up to him. But then again, that can never happen.

"Shut up. I don’t want to hear this."

But Dave continues. "So yeah, I threw you at him. And he took to you—hook, line, and sinker. And before your mind goes there, that had nothing to do with your past, because he has no f*cking idea about what happened to you."

"Shut up!" I scream. "Shut up. I don’t want to hear any of it. I don’t care who he is. The only thing that matters is I can’t be with him...ever." I sway as anger wages war with the longing I have for Adam.

"I love you," Dave says for the first time—ever. It startles me, and I jerk my eyes up to his. "Riley, I need you to be happy more that I need blood in my veins. I need redemption. I saw the way you looked at him and…" He drops his head into his hands.

My anger is quickly replaced by sadness. Dave may not have the physical scars I do, but I’m not the only one of us who was shredded by that night. He’s given his life up too. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to remember that.

"I love you too. Thank you for looking out for me, but from here on out, I relieve you of your duty. You can’t live my life and you sure as hell can’t force me into the arms of a man just because you deem him worthy. I should get a say in this. As much as I like Adam-slash-Slate, I wish I could go back to before I met him."

He smirks over at me before announcing, "I will continue to set you up with as many good guys as I can find. The good news for you is they are few and far between. Slate was kind of the jackpot. It’s all downhill from here."

He’s right. Slate really was the jackpot.

"I felt safe with him," I admit not only to Dave, but to myself as well.

"I know, babe. And for what it’s worth, I think we could make things work. It’s completely a risk, but you say the word and we’ll figure a way for you two to be together."

"That’s a terrible idea," I say, sitting on the bed beside him.

"I know. It really is." He gives me a sad grin.

"Promise me you’ll let me handle this from here on out. You want to see me get better? Then let me control at least this part of my life. It’s not like I can control anything else."

"I had to try."

My moment with Dave is gone and reality comes crashing back down on my shoulders. What Adam and I had may not have been some great whirlwind romance, but it was more than I’ve had in years. I’ve had plenty of boyfriends in the past, but I’ve not wanted to get close to anyone until Adam. Damn it. Now, just like everything else in my life, he’s gone too.





For two weeks, I avoided Adam at all costs. But that doesn’t mean he avoided me. He stopped by my apartment almost nightly. Dave always turned him away, and on more than one occasion, they had not-so-kind words about it. But I didn’t have any other choice. Spending time with Adam, even on a limited basis, just wasn’t an option.

I started leaving super early in the mornings and going to the gym after work just so I wouldn’t accidentally run into him in the hallway. I missed Adam more than I’d ever expected, but more than that, I missed the person I got to be when we were together. I got to laugh, smile, and feel sexy without fear. For a full seven days, I got to be Erica again.