All the Way (Romancing Manhattan #1)(67)

“I’m not sick either. I’m just so angry. And I’m sad. Why am I so sad about Kyle? I should hate him.”

“He’s your brother.”

“I mean, I knew that he was a jerk. I didn’t know he was clean, and let me tell you, that was a blow.”

“Yeah, that’s just weird.”

“Well, he clearly has mental health issues,” I reply with a sniff. “And I am so fucking pissed at him for killing my mama and dad. Sasha, he killed them.”

“I know, sweetie.”

“I keep saying it to myself, but I don’t know if I believe it yet. He’s a class-A jerk, but I never would have thought that he’d hurt any of us. Not like that.”

“You’re grieving for all of them,” she says, and I nod, even though she can’t see me.

“It’s not fair. They didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong.” I can’t stop the tears now, and they’re flowing freely. I’m a snotty mess. “And now, I have to deal with the fact that my brother, who I’ve never been particularly close to anyway, is permanently out of my life too, as if he died with them.”

“Did you think that you might eventually have a relationship with him?”

“I guess part of me hoped so.” I blow my nose and then toss the wet tissue aside for a clean one. “Especially when he told me that he was going to rehab. I really wanted it to be true.”

“I know.”

“And, when he had that gun pointed at me, and said he was going to kill me—”

“Wait, there was a gun?”

“Yeah, and I didn’t believe him. I would have just walked up to him and plucked the gun out of his fingers because I knew in my heart that he wouldn’t hurt me.”

“London,” Sasha says. “He would have. He did.”

“I know. What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing at all. He’s your brother and you love him.”

“No, not anymore.” Why can’t I stop crying?

“And you hoped that things were different. Not to mention, it was a complete and utter shock that he confessed to killing your parents.”

“That’s the understatement of the year.” I take a deep breath and let it out, watching the lightning fill the sky and illuminate the churning water. “But he did. And I feel like I’m just grieving them all over again, except this time I can walk while I do it.”

“You don’t have the distraction of an injured leg,” she says. “You have to feel the emotions now.”

“Well, I don’t like it.” I swallow hard. “And it didn’t help that Finn and I had a big argument before his birthday party and really hadn’t resolved that yet.”

“What was it about?”

I explain the real estate situation, and Finn asking me to move in with him.

“He doesn’t listen to me.”

“Hold up.” I can hear rustling on the other end of the line, like she’s sitting up. “You’re pissed because he wants to make sure you’re comfortable in L.A.?”

“No, I’m pissed because he didn’t talk to me about it.”

“He doesn’t have to ask your permission to buy a house, London.”

“No, but he wants me to live in it.” I frown. “So you’re saying I’m wrong about this too?”

“Well, I think he needs to hone his communication skills, and definitely include you in big decisions, but you also could use some polishing on your communication skills. You need to take a step back and look at it from his point of view. At the end of the day, the man just wants to love you.”

“He wants to take care of me, and I don’t need that.”

“He wants to love you,” she repeats. “And I know I’m no expert in the relationship game, but I think that part of loving someone is taking care of them when they’re sad or scared or grieving. You’re my best friend in the whole world, and if you want me to kill him and hide the body I’ll totally do it, but, London, I think you were being a little extra sensitive yesterday. And I also think, while we’re at it, that you’re taking a lot of your anger at Kyle out on Finn.”

“Maybe,” I admit with a sigh, and wipe my eyes for the five-hundredth time. “It just rubbed me wrong, you know? He handed me three properties to choose from.”

“So, he didn’t say, Hey baby, let’s go find a house together.”

“No. He’d already been hunting, found three he liked, furnished, and told me to pick one.”

“Okay, that’s a bit much,” she agrees. “There’s gotta be a happy medium.”

“Exactly,” I reply, and then feel an ache over my heart. “I hurt him. I hate that I hurt him.”

“One of the best things about life is being able to say you’re sorry,” she says. “I don’t think anything has happened here that you can’t work out.”

“I hope you’re right.”





Chapter Nineteen

~Finn~


I’m going to spank her ass. Then I’m going to kiss the ever-loving hell out of her.

And then I might spank her ass again.