All the Inside Howling (Hollow Folk #2)(7)

“I—ouch!”

“This needs stitches,” she said. And then, eying me, she added, “And antibiotics. You remember what happened last time.”

Last time had been different, I wanted to explain. Last time I’d been shot, well, grazed, and I’d seen a little boy shot, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I hadn’t gotten a prescription for antibiotics, and the infection had almost killed me. But Sara didn’t give me a chance.

“Becca,” she called. “You’re going to the emergency room with Becca. Becca!”

At the second shout, Becca rushed through the door.

“Hospital,” Sara said, wrapping my hand in a clean towel and giving me a push towards Becca.

“My shift’s almost over and I—”

“Now.”

“But I—”

“Right now!”

With a grimace, Becca nodded. Grabbing my elbow, she guided me out the back door.

“I can walk on my own.”

“Shut up,” Becca said through gritted teeth.

Fishing her keys out of her pocket, she shoved me towards the passenger door. We drove in silence for the first block. Becca punched on the radio, cranking the volume until the heavy metal was bouncing around inside my skull, and then punched it off again.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“Come on, he was some braindead—”

“You had your chance, right? I told you I liked you, you said you were gay. We decided to be friends. That was it.”

“The guy was a loser, Becca.”

“Oh, screw you. You don’t get to be jealous, or bitchy, or whatever this is. That’s not ok, not if you’re my friend. He was cute—”

“And dumb as a bag of rocks. ‘I really want to find myself.’” I shook my head.

Becca slammed on the brakes, reached past me, and opened the passenger door. “Get out.”

Eying her warily, I tried to tell if she meant it.

“I’m serious. You’re being awful right now, and I don’t care if you’re going to slit your wrists for real or if this is all just a big cry for help. Stop it or get out and you can walk to the damn hospital.”

And then she started to cry. Just tears of frustration at first, but they built into quiet sobs. For a long moment, I stared, trying to figure out what to do. Then she snapped, “Don’t look at me,” and it was twice as bad because I didn’t know where to look. Finally, I slipped my good hand around her and pulled her towards me. For a moment she struggled, and then she leaned into me, her head on my shoulder.

“I’m a ridiculously big ass,” I said.

“I know,” she said as her sobs quieted. “And you’re a big jerk.”

“I know.”

Running her hand under her nose, Becca pulled away from me and leaned her head against the window. Her breath fogged it in an oval, and the oval faded, and then it reappeared again, slower and slower each time.

“I’m really sorry,” I said. “I screwed everything up today. Everything that matters.”

“It’s ok. I know you’re upset about Austin. It’s just—it’s been ages since anybody showed any interest in me, and then . . .” She touched the corners of her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. He’s leaving tonight on the ten o’clock bus, and we’ll still be at the hospital.”

“It’s not ok. I acted like shit tonight.”

“He’s not going to be mad forever,” she said. “He’ll forgive you.”

I nodded, but that little voice inside me—the one that had known about Gage and the cheating and where it was all headed with Austin—said that no, he wouldn’t, that this was the beginning of the end. Mr. Big Empty was coming, and I couldn’t stop him, and Austin hated me. I struggled to breathe and got nothing, just wisps of air.

“Vie, Vie,” Becca said, fumbling a cigarette free. “It’s going to be ok. Now I’m really going to cry. I promise, it will be all right. He’ll be mad. He’ll either sulk or he’ll tear your head off, and either way you’ll apologize, and in a week it’ll be past.” She lighted the cigarette and squeezed my good hand. “Vie, what the hell were you doing to yourself?”

“It was an accident.”

From her face I knew that she didn’t believe me, and for a moment, I considered telling her. I could tell the truth. I could tell her part, at least. About the pain, and about the loneliness, and about how I needed to have something that nobody could take away from me. The tobacco smell filled the car, and Becca’s touch was soft and cool, and that silver eyeshadow made her look so impossibly cool, like a rock goddess or an ancient priestess, but mostly like a kick-ass girl who had decided, for some reason I couldn’t understand, to be my friend. Did I really want to risk all that by doing something as stupid as telling her the truth? With a sigh, I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car.

“What are you doing?”

“You’d better go back. That guy’s hot, and you don’t want Sara poaching him.”

Becca laughed, but she shook her head. “You’re being ridiculous. The hospital—”

“Is ten blocks away, and it’s a beautiful night, and I’m totally capable of walking. You’d better hurry. It’s like a fairy tale. Only, in this fairy tale, you’ve only got until ten.”