All the Inside Howling (Hollow Folk #2)(110)

“Don’t flatter yourself. I kind of punched Jake.”

“You punched his little brother? Like, a playful punch in the shoulder, right?”

“No.”

“So you got mad, maybe, and you got him in the chest. One shot, that’s all.”

“Not . . . exactly.”

“Holy shit,” Emmett said, breaking up into laughter. “You really have a gift for fucking up, don’t you?”

“You don’t need to enjoy it so much.”

“All right, all right.” Emmett’s laughter quieted, but the smile still played across his face. “So Austin’s got the upper hand right now. He’s got major upper hand, actually, and he’s going to use it.”

“What do you mean?”

“God, are you really this naive? Have you ever dated anyone before?”

“Yes.”

“How’d that go? Did he end up in a body cast?”

I didn’t answer; it was too easy to remember the bruises on Gage’s face, and his arm in that gleaming white cast, and the fear in his eyes.

“Oh,” Emmett’s voice dropped so low it could have limped along with the Cadillac. “Sorry, didn’t realize it was that bad. Look, it’s not going to be that way with Austin. What does he want from you? What have you been holding out on him?”

My mind went to the last night we’d been together, the feel of him under me, and his teeth sharp on my neck. He’d wanted me, that night. No, more than that. He’d needed me. “Nothing,” I said, but my voice was husky. “I don’t play games.”

“Which explains why you suck at dating.”

“You don’t really seem like the kind of guy I want dating tips from. No offense.”

“You’re the one whose boyfriend won’t talk to him.”

After a moment, I let out a breath. “Fine.”

“Now you say, ‘Emmett, please teach me how to be a successful lover.’”

“I’m going to choke on my own vomit here.”

Emmett laughed. “It’s pretty easy. Dating is like anything else: you just need to know what you want and what the other person wants, and then you figure out how much you’re willing to trade.”

“It’s not about trading. It’s about liking someone. It’s about—”

“Love?”

“Eventually. I’m not saying that’s what’s going on with Austin, but that’s the whole point of dating.”

I think Emmett must have been remembering what I had shared with him, that mental declaration of my love, because he was silent for a long time. When he continued, he said, “I’m not saying love isn’t part of it. Or affection, or chemistry, or pure, animal lust. But I’m saying you have to be realistic too. You have to realize how many different things go into a relationship, and that it all comes down to wanting something the other person has.”

“Well, I’m shit poor, so I don’t think I have anything Austin wants.”

“God, you’ve got a total blind-spot about this. You have literally everything Austin wants. He has friends, but he wants to be independent and self-assured. He has family, but he knows he doesn’t fit in with them, not completely, and he wants to figure out how that’s going to work. He’s lonely, he’s probably been lonelier than just about anyone, ever since he realized he was into guys, and he wants companionship. He wants to be in an open, honest relationship for the first time in his life, and he wants to feel validated, and he wants that validation to come from you because he is crazy about you, for some unfathomable reason.” Emmett paused, and his lips quirked. “And he probably wants your smoking hot body, on top of everything else.”

“My what?”

“Don’t be cute. I’m just saying, if Austin’s acting defensive, it’s because he’s afraid he’s giving too much and he’s not getting anything back in return.”

I thought about how I’d missed his birthday, about how I’d left his big party at Kaden’s house to take care of Emmett, about how I’d ruined that night with his family—a night that was, I realized in hindsight, all about making our relationship legitimate. But the thing that kept coming back, over and over again, was when Becca had asked me how he liked my hair and I hadn’t known. There was something about that question, about how it revealed my ignorance, that made me want to crawl under the old Caddy’s floor mat with my tail between my legs.

“Jesus,” I said, clearing my throat. “Sounds like a lot of work.”

“Welcome to real life, big boy.” Emmett slugged me in the shoulder. “He really is crazy about you. You’ve just got to help him out now and then.”

“Why are you being so nice?”

“Maybe there’s a little bit of self-interest. I’m still playing the long game, and I just figure I’ll let Austin knock off all the rough edges before I get you.”

“Maybe you’re not always an asshole. Maybe you’re trying to be nice.”

“Sure,” he said, flashing a hundred-carat smile. “Keep dreaming.”

After that, we drove for a time in silence. My thoughts kept circling Emmett. The flippant, cocky surface. The fire underneath. The way he had looked, the fierce possessiveness like a dog bristling at the fence, when he had said, Everything about you is my fucking business. And the way he had looked when he realized I loved him. The fear in his eyes. The way he had run.