All That Jazz (Butler Cove #1)(66)

“Oh that grace,

Oh that body,

Oh that face,

Makes me wanna party …”

The two finest specimens of male I’ve ever laid eyes on sit shirtless and barefoot astride their mounts. I’m so turned on, it’s hard to look. So sue me for being shallow. “I think I just orgasmed,” I whine.

“Shut up, Jazz,” says Keri Ann amused, but her voice tells me she’s equally mesmerized. She’s also going to be cheering for Jack to win so they can stay on the island together tonight. They are basically eye f*cking right now already.

I can’t cheer for Jack, that would be weird.

But ugh. I have to cheer for someone. This is too cool and exciting. With a yell, the race starts. And Joey immediately pulls ahead, the wind making his hair wild.

Double f*cksticks. I give in. “Go, Joey,” I yell and point my phone straight ahead because, my God, I never want to forget this.

“Are you seriously cheering for me not to get laid tonight?” Keri Ann laughs incredulously. “Go on, Jack!” she screams.

I have no new words. “Seriously, this is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Sometime during the turn and the last half of the race, Joey loses his lead. He almost slides off the horse in the water, and my heart skips a beat. But it’s amazing to see that he doesn’t care. He’s smiling as he races, a look of pure, awed, joy on his face. I’ve never seen Joseph look like that. He always has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Like if he has too much fun, someone might die. Maybe it comes from losing his parents so young and feeling so responsible. But as long as I’ve known him, he’s always carried a crease between his eyes and a burden behind them. Seeing his radiant carefree happiness in this moment, punctures something in my chest. I swallow down an odd panicked feeling and keep screaming for him to win.





AFTER THE BOYS cross the finish line, Keri Ann and I get a turn to ride, and instead of racing, we walk the horses along the beach and into the waves.

The sun is high and hot, and the water feels cool against my feet.

I’m not sure why I do it, but I can’t stop looking up to see where Joey is, and each time I do he looks away as if I’ve caught him staring. And if he’s not looking at me, he’s watching his sister and Jack. It’s starting to wig me out.

After deciding to ride the boat over to the sandbar and go swimming, I stay close to Devon in an effort to avoid the awkwardness with Joey. I ask so many questions about the movie industry, I think Devon’s starting to think I might hit him up for a job.

When we reach the sandbar, a stretch of sandy ocean floor that appears only at low tide, we drop anchor. On the weekends and during the summer, we’d be lucky to find a spot. But during the week in May, we have the place to ourselves.

“Who’s going in first?” Jack asks.

“No way,” says Keri Ann. “I’ll wait ‘til the boat drifts closer then I’ll wade in.”

I chuckle. “*,” I tell her.

“Like you’re going to jump in,” Joey says, a challenge in his eyes. I walk over to the controls and look at the depth finder, making sure there are no submerged oyster beds lying in wait, and then I climb up to the roof of the boat.

“You’re crazy,” calls Keri Ann.

“Probably,” I reply. In the bright sunshine and without my shades, the white roof of the yacht is bright and blinding and really high. I gingerly stand, keeping my legs bent for balance. Grabbing the bottom of my skirt, I pull my dress up and off, tossing it down to Keri Ann. I just hope I don’t lose my bikini when I jump. I loosen my bun, putting my band on my wrist. The cool wind immediately picks up and tosses my hair.

I glance at Joey who’s no longer hiding his blatant staring. My heart thumps heavily. “You wanna jump with me, Joseph?”

A few seconds pass, then I don’t wait any longer for his response. Counting to three in my head, I take a deep breath and scream as I leap off the roof.

I leave my stomach behind, and my breath stops as I hit the cold water. The sea closes over my head and for a moment as my momentum slows, I’m weightless. I haven’t done this in years. I revel in the feeling of the cold water surrounding me, staying as long as I can before my lungs feel it.

The face I see as I close my eyes is blue eyed.

Things have changed.

Why now?

I can sense it. Sense him changing. Opening up.

Now? Now, when I’m not sticking around. I guess now it’s convenient for Joey. He’s home for the summer before residency. I’m a sure thing. He didn’t have a problem walking away before. Why would now be any different? I’ve loved him so many years, I wonder if it’s still real. Or whether it’s just become this thing that I believed so long, it’s separated from me. If I cut the cord, will it still exist?

My lungs burn. The water explodes in front of me as a body sluices downward. I kick to the surface. My bikini is still on, I adjust the top and burst through the surface. I kick for the sandbar, not waiting to see who jumped in after me. My feet find sand and I pull myself from the water into the cold breeze and bright sun, the salt thick on my lips.

I trot up the sand and find a spot to collapse and worship the sun, the sand sticking to my body. Keri Ann is on Jack’s shoulders as he wades heavily from waist deep water. She has my towel and my shades.