All I've Never Wanted(29)

Parker, having recovered, smiled charmingly. “I believe I will be taking over my father’s company after I graduate college.”

“Your father? What he do? He no plumber, is he? I no trust plumbers. Or Disney World. Working with mice, very shameful.”

I nearly spit out my water at the look on Parker’s face. Poor guy. How was he supposed to know my grandmother’s deep hatred of Disney World stemmed from the one—and only—time she’d accompanied my parents and me to the amusement park, only to have me throw up in her lap after riding too many roller coasters?

Needless to say, even Mickey Mouse couldn’t ease my grandmother’s wrath. In fact, I’m pretty sure she saw red every time the word ‘mouse’ was even mentioned.

Although no one had ever figured out why my grandmother didn't like plumbers.


“Uh…no, m’am. He’s a banker.”

“Banker?” My grandmother shooed away the peas my mom offered her. “I no like banks. Line too long.” She abruptly switched topics. “You have sex yet?” She pointed to me and Parker.

Clang! The sound of my glass banging against my plate echoed through the room, but I barely heard it through my utter humiliation. Please, floor, just open up and swallow me whole. I beg you!

“Grandma, you—you can’t just ask people that,” I stuttered, horrified. I was suddenly glad my dad was working late tonight.

My mom looked equally horrified. “Mom! We are not going to be talking about—about Maya’s sex life at the dinner table!”

Apparently, she’d forgotten Parker and I weren’t really a couple.

“Why? Sex part of life,” my grandmother pointed out innocently, sounding quite progressive for a seventy-year-old Chinese lady. “How else I get great-grandchildren? I getting old. I no live forever. I want to hold great-grandson and great-granddaughter before I throw the bucket.”

“It’s kick the bucket, mom, and you’re perfectly healthy. You will probably live till you’re a hundred!”

“A hundred? Why I wanna live till a hundred?” my grandmother snapped. “So people stick me on bad daytime shows saying, ooh, look at old lady? No good.” She gazed pointedly at Parker. “You never answer question, young man. You and Maya have sex?”

I swallowed hard, wondering what he was going to say.

Suddenly, Parker flashed me a mischievous grin, and my blood ran cold.

Oh, no. No, no, no, I thought fiercely, glaring at him so hard I was surprised I didn’t burn a hole in his face. Don’t you dare! I swear to God, Parker Remington, if you say—

“Yes. Yes, we did.” Parker actually managed to look bashful, that jerk. “Of course, I don’t usually discuss something so…intimate out in the open, but you must understand, I’m a very honest person. I could never lie, especially not to my dear Maya’s grandmother.”

My grip tightened on my glass as I pretended it was his throat. I snuck a peek at my family. My mom looked like she was about to faint, but my grandmother looked thoughtful.

“Really?” She clucked her tongue. “I hope you use protection. I no want grandchildren now. Very bad for college. But very good you are practicing now.”

I buried my face in my hands, wondering why I couldn’t have gotten a normal grandmother who would rather throw away her knitting set than talk about sex, much less encourage it.

“Definitely.” Parker’s face was almost angelic. “You don’t need to worry about that. Right, sweetie?”

Ugh! Why did all the girls like him? He was…he was evil!

And then he winked at me. The * had the nerve to wink after embarrassing me like that?

Without thinking, and unable to take it anymore, I let out a frustrated yell and threw the remainder of the peas at him.

Sadly, in the process, I also knocked over the pitcher of water, which promptly spilled all over my grandmother.

Needless to say, things kind of went downhill from there.

* * *

“What do you mean, you’re grounded?” Venice stared at me in shock. “Your parents never ground you.”

I sighed, shoving my biology textbook into my locker before slamming it shut. “They do when I throw vegetables at dinner guests. You know how my mom is about me eating my fruits and veggies.”

She giggled, but immediately stopped when I glared at her. “Sorry, but that’s hilarious. Not about the grounding part, of course, but…I can’t believe you threw peas at Parker Remington! Actually, I can’t believe you told them he was your boyfriend!”

“Trust me, it was out of sheer necessity,” I mumbled.

Venice sighed. “If it were me, I would’ve at least tried to get a kiss out of it.”

I scrunched up my nose in disgust. “God, Venice, who knows where those lips have been? Actually, no, scratch that. I already know—they’ve been with every skank in the tri-state area.”

She rolled her eyes. “So? It’s not like you can get diseases from kissing!”

“Didn't you pay attention in health class? Of course you can!”

“Whatever.” Venice waved my comment away dismissively. “For the chance to kiss Parker, it would be totally worth it.”

“You shameless hussy, you,” I joked, stepping out into the bright sunshine. I was relieved to see the parking lot was nearly empty.