All I've Never Wanted(107)

Roman stared at me in shock.

“I hate you,” I said, my voice trembling slightly.

And just like that, that small hopeful spark died right then and there. “Oh,” Roman said, his voice cracking. He looked like he wanted to cry. “I guess—I guess that’s it then. I’m sorry for wasting your time,” he mumbled, turning to leave.

“Wait.” I stopped him. “I’m not finished.”

He stared at me, confused.

“Don’t you want to know why I hate you?”

Roman didn’t look at me. “Not really,” he muttered.

I continued anyway. “I hate you because yes, you have been a major jerk to me. But you know what? I hate you even more because you were a jerk to me even when you knew you liked me! I hate you for not seeming to care, I hate you for not telling me earlier and making me cry, I hate you for kissing Solange, I hate you for putting me through all of that!” I was nearly crying by this point as I pounded a fist against his chest, trying to vent all of my pent-up frustration. “You’re such an idiot!”


By the time I was finished, I was almost out of breath. I fully expected my parents to come running into the room any minute now, but they didn’t.

Roman, I could tell, was absolutely stunned, because he didn’t say a single word. Instead, he just wrapped his arms around me. At first, his touch was hesitant, like he was afraid I was going to pull away or slap him again, but when I didn’t, he grew more confident, pulling me close to his chest. He remained silent, just holding me, and I had a sudden flashback to the night I ran into his room and held him just like he was holding me now.

I closed my eyes, pressing my cheek against the soft cotton of his T-shirt and inhaling that intoxicating woodsy scent of his. Without even thinking, I wrapped my arms around his waist. It just felt so right, being there in his arms, and I didn’t want to think about anything else, not the past, not the future—I just wanted to enjoy the moment.

But like everything else in life, it couldn’t last forever, so when my breathing had steadied and I’d gotten my emotions (relatively) under control, I pulled back, chilliness replacing the warmth of his arms.

Roman examined my face, his own inscrutable. “So, uh, what does that mean?” he asked rather nervously.

I couldn’t help it. I started laughing at his utter cluelessness, so for once I actually followed his lead, grabbed his face, and kissed him.

This time was even better than the first, because now that I’d gotten all of that off my chest, I could actually enjoy it. The softness of his lips against mine, the slightly minty taste of his mouth, the softness of his hair as I ran my hand through it, and the undeniable thrill that fizzled through me when Roman finally got over his shock and started kissing me back.

He kept one arm firmly wrapped around my waist while the other cupped the back of my head so he could kiss me harder, and if he hadn’t been holding me, I’m pretty sure I would’ve floated right off the ground.

Yep. This was definitely the best idea I’ve ever had.

I can’t say for sure that things will end up the way I want them to in the end, but I honestly couldn’t hide my feelings anymore. I'm sick of playing it safe. Besides, what was life without a little risk?

I’m not sure how long the kiss went on for, and I was surprised neither my mom nor my dad had interrupted yet. It probably would’ve went on for quite a while longer, had a small yelp not made its way through the fogginess of my mind.

“What was that?” I pulled away, breathing heavily.

“I don’t know.” Roman stared at my mouth, obviously wanting to continue where we off.

Someone—or rather something—yelped again, drawing my gaze to the box on my doorstep. I’d been so caught up in, er, other things that I hadn’t even noticed it earlier.

My heart sped up in excitement. No freakin’ way. Was that what I think it is?

“I think it came from that box.” I pointed shakily at the object in question. “Roman? You didn’t happen to have, uh, bought me another gift, did you?”

“Oh, that.” Roman stared at the box like he’d just noticed it himself. “Well…yeah. I wasn’t expecting you to give in before you saw.”

I frowned. “Who says I gave in?” I huffed, though I wasn’t really angry.

He just gave me that slow, languorous smirk of his, and I melted a bit. Ok, so I gave in just a little.

“Here.” Roman picked up the shaking box and handed it to me. “Open it.”

I held my breath, slowly opening it and hoping it was—

A puppy. “Oh my god!” I squealed, when I saw the tiny brown-and-white puppy staring up at me, a neglected expression on its face. It obviously didn’t like being stuffed and forgotten inside a box for so long. “You are so cute!”

I picked it up, marveling at the silkiness of its fur, as its neglected expression morphed into a happy one. It let out a happy bark and licked my face with its little pink tongue.

“I thought you’d like it.” There was a small smile on Roman’s face. “I just picked it up this morning.”

I hugged the puppy to my chest, swallowing hard. “It’s for me?”

“Well, yeah.” Roman wrinkled his nose a bit. “I’m not a huge fan of animals.”