All I've Never Wanted(100)

The only problem was, every time I wrote down a con, a pro popped into my head. For example, I hated how arrogant he was, but then I would remember how nice he’d been after I found out my dad had been cheating on my mom. I would think about how bossy and overbearing he was, but then I would remember how vulnerable he looked the night of the blackout, like a little child.

Soon, the things I technically should have disliked, like his stupid cocky smirk and his constant snarky comments, turned into pros, because honestly Roman wouldn’t be Roman without them.

I scowled. Getting over him was proving to be more difficult than I thought.

I jammed my hand into the bowl, eager for more sugar, but it was empty. Great. Just great.

I stood up grumpily and was about to walk to the kitchen to grab some more popcorn when the doorbell rang.

I stopped, frowning. Who could it possibly be? I knew Carlo wasn’t here. He was at some martial arts thing tonight. I hope it wasn’t Rico. He seriously creeped me out, even though he hadn’t done anything to me.

I pulled back the curtain next to the door, my stomach knotting up when I saw Roman standing there, an uncharacteristically nervous look on his face.


I debated whether or not to pretend I wasn’t here, but it was too late. He already saw me.

I let the curtain drop and took a deep breath, grimacing when I saw my reflection in the hall mirror. Wow, I looked horrible. I had no makeup on, my hair was pulled up into a sloppy bun, and I there was some sugar stuck on my cheek.

Quickly wiping the sugar off with the back of my hand, I opened the door but kept my hand on the knob. My heart thudded painfully when I saw the bouquet of white roses in his hand. White roses were my favorite.

“Hey,” he finally said quietly, when it was clear I wouldn’t be speaking first.

“Hi.” I made my voice as cold as possible. “What are you doing here?”

I didn’t care if I sounded rude. Besides, I really was curious as to why he was here. He’d made no attempt to talk to me at all after our little encounter Saturday morning, which I was perfectly fine with. The less I saw and talked to him, the quicker I could get over him.

“I, uh, just wanted to come by and give you these.” Roman thrust the flowers in my direction. “You know, as an apology.” His gaze landed on my jaw. “Does it still hurt?” he added softly.

I gripped the knob tighter, not making a move to take the flowers. “Yeah, it does,” I answered, giving the words double meaning.

Roman shifted his weight. I’ve never seen him look so nervous.

“I’m so sorry about Friday night. Really,” he said, his eyes searching my face.

I resisted the urge to bite my lip. It took all of my willpower to keep my blank expression intact. “It’s fine,” I said. “Apology accepted. Now we can just go back to the way things are supposed to be.”

He frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means.” I took a deep breath before continuing. “It means we go back to the way they were before everything. You can go be the leader of the Scions, date supermodels, pick fights, whatever you want. And I go back to my life. It’ll be like we never even met.”

Roman’s jaw tensed. “It doesn’t work like that, Maya.”

“Yes, it does,” I snapped. “Look, I was never cut out for your world, ok? I had a perfectly good, normal life until I got caught up in—in all this.” I gestured to my surroundings. “I just want things to go back to the way they used to be!”

“Oh, yeah? What about the twins? What about Parker? What about Carlo? Are you just going to ditch them like that?”

“I’m not ditching anyone,” I hissed. “I can still hang out with them. I just don’t want to hang out with you. We were never friends. We’ll never be friends. I don’t know why we should pretend otherwise.”

Roman swallowed hard. “So you’ve never liked me, at all. Not even as a friend.”

Tears pricked the back of my eyes. I’ve always been a bad liar, but I sure as hell couldn’t tell him how I feel. If I did, he’d probably break my heart, rub it in my face, then go back to Solange so the two of them could laugh about how stupid and na?ve I was.

“No.” My voice shook a little, but thankfully he didn’t seem to catch it. “As far as I’m concerned, you’ll always be the person who made my life a living hell here. I can’t even list all the things you’ve done to me, but don’t think for a second I can ever forgive you.”

Liar! You’re a liar! a voice in my head screamed.

Shut up! I mentally yelled back. What did the voice inside my head know anyway?

“Oh.” Roman’s voice was completely emotionless, but his chest heaved as though he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. “Thanks for clearing that up for me. Don’t worry, I won’t be bothering you anymore.”

I pressed my lips together, trying not to let the tears spill over as he placed the flowers in front of the doorstep. “Do whatever you want with those,” he mumbled.

He started walking away, but stopped after a few steps and turned to look at me. His usually expressive eyes seemed dull and lifeless. “I really am sorry,” he added. “For everything.”

A ragged sob escaped my throat, and I quickly pressed my fist to my mouth, but he didn’t seem to have heard it, because he just kept walking until he finally disappeared around a corner.