All I Want(50)

She just stared at him. “You feel different. Scary different,” she finally said. “Makes our live-in-the-moment mantra hard for me.”

Shit. He was such a dick. She certainly deserved more from him, way more than what he could give her. In spite of that, he nearly opened his mouth and said what was on his mind—that all of a sudden he felt damn close to saying f*ck the job, he wanted to stick around just to see this thing with her through.

He’d never felt that way before.

Never.

The job was where it was at for him. The job had always been his end-all, the only thing ever waiting for him at the beginning and at the end of every day.

But damn. He’d miss her. He wasn’t embarrassed about admitting that to himself, either. The opposite, actually. If he was being honest with himself, he was more than a little relieved to know he was still even capable of feelings like the ones he knew he could have for her if he let himself.

But she was right, about everything. He was leaving. It was what he did. He walked away from those he cared about, and he’d made peace with that a long time ago.

He’d come here to Sunshine for a job. Falling for the fierce and sexy Zoe Stone was not in the cards.

Not even a little.

Okay, well, maybe a little, but he’d be the only one to carry that burden.

She was still watching him. “I’m trying to live in the moment,” she said softly. “For the moment we have. The three W’s and all that, but it’s hard for me.”

Shit. He wished he’d never come up with such a stupid thing.

“Because that’s the way it has to be,” she said. “Right?”

Pull off the Band-Aid and quick, he told himself. Do it now. “That’s the way it has to be,” he agreed, just as softly.

Something crossed her face: disappointment? He couldn’t be sure, but he was one hundred percent positive that disappointment was exactly what he felt. As well as the certainty that maybe he’d just messed up the best thing that had ever almost happened to him.

“In the interest of those three W’s,” Zoe said. “I’ve been asked out on another date for tomorrow night.”

This hit him like a sledgehammer. No less than he deserved. “Joe again?” he managed.

“No.”

“Did the dentist call you and reschedule?”

“No.”

His gut tightened even more. “Who?”

“Kel. He’s a local sheriff,” she said.

Parker went utterly still as this news hit his brain. On the one hand, he personally knew that Kel was a damn good guy with a solid work ethic and a steady job that wouldn’t take him all over hell and back.

On the other hand, Kel was also a man. And as he’d already told Zoe, all men were horndog *s, even the good ones.

“Is that a problem?” Zoe asked in his silence.

“Of course not.”

She stared at him for a beat and then nodded. “Okay, then,” she said, and backed away. “Good. See you later.”

Parker lasted five minutes before he called Kel.

“Was just going to call you,” the sheriff said before Parker could speak.

“She’s her own woman,” Parker said. “She can go out with whoever she wants.” There. He’d said it. Now he just had to believe it.

There was a long pause from Kel.

Hell. “That’s not why you were going to call me,” Parker said, rubbing the sudden ache between his eyeballs.

“Nope. But if we’re talking about Zoe, hell yeah, she’s her own woman. Did you really think I was calling you to ask permission to date her? And more importantly, why would I call you to ask permission to date her?”

“No reason.”

It was Kel’s turn to go silent. Then: “You’re a shitty liar.”

No, he was an excellent liar. Kel just happened to be a damn good silence interpreter. “Let’s stick to business,” Parker suggested.

“Sure. Right after you tell me what’s going on with you and Zoe.”

“At the moment?” Parker asked wryly. “Very little.”

“Okay, then, what do you want to be going on with you and Zoe?”

How the hell did Parker explain that when he didn’t even know himself?

“Speak now or forever hold your peace,” Kel warned.

“I’m just staying here while I’m in town.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Kel suggested.

“I want her to find the right guy,” Parker said. “She deserves that.”

Kel was quiet a moment. “Why do I suddenly have the feeling that the right guy is going back to D.C. soon?”

“I can’t stay,” Parker said.

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

Shit. This discussion was so far out of his league. “You wanted to talk about the case,” he said tightly.

“So won’t then,” Kel said evenly. “That’s going to cost you the woman, you know that, right?”

“The case,” Parker repeated firmly. “Anything new on the case?”

“Actually, yeah,” Kel said. “Hang on.” A door shut and then Kel was back, all business. “I got a call earlier from my ATF buddy, the one who’d originally told me about the possible militia connection.”