All I Believe (Firsts and Forever, #10)(29)
That made my heart ache. I absolutely didn’t understand how anyone could disown their child for being gay. I reached out with my free hand and stroked his spiky hair. “You didn’t deserve that, Jessie. No one does. And you know what? It’s her loss. You’re one of the sweetest, kindest, most genuine people I’ve ever met, and she and the rest of your family are totally missing out.”
“Thanks for saying that.” He was quiet for a while before whispering, “I miss all these little things, like this old-school tuna casserole my mom used to make, and the way she’d sing Patsy Cline when she thought no one was listening.” A single tear spilled down his cheek and he added, “Shit. Normally I’m a happy drunk. I don’t know why I have to be a pathetic one tonight.”
“You’re far from pathetic,” I said as I climbed into bed with him and pulled him into a hug. “A terrible thing happened to you, and you have to let yourself mourn before you can heal.”
“You’re right. I never did let myself mourn, not once in the four years since I came out and they disowned me,” he said softly as he put his head on my chest and curled up in my arms. He felt so small and fragile. “I just sort of stuffed down all that hurt and scrambled to figure out how I was going to take care of myself. Overall, I think I’m doing pretty good, but the sadness leaks out sometimes. That’s how I know I never fully dealt with it.”
I went back to stroking his hair as I held him. After a while, his thin body began to shake as he cried silently. I did the only thing I could think of, and quietly began singing Crazy, the one Patsy Cline song I knew the lyrics to. When I reached the end, he whispered, “Thank you. I love you, Nicky.”
“I love you too, Jessie, and I’m so glad you’re a part of my family.”
“I can’t even tell you how much that means to me,” he said.
He drifted off eventually, and I held him until I was sure he was sound asleep. Only then did I slip out of bed. I pulled the blanket up to his shoulders and shut his door behind me as quietly as possible.
I turned on the light in my room and opened the double doors to let in some fresh air, then stepped onto the balcony and looked around. It was around two a.m., and the piazza was empty. I leaned against the railing and watched the cascading water in the fountain for a while, replaying the conversation with Jessie. He normally seemed like such a cheerful person and acted like he didn’t have a care in the world. I tended to take him at face value, but that conversation showed he was masking a lot of sadness behind his smile.
After a while, I noticed someone down in the plaza was looking up at me. Luca raised a hand in greeting when I saw him, and I offered a little wave. He pointed to the front door of the hotel, then walked toward it. When he disappeared from sight, I left the suite and waited out in the hall.
It was really quiet, so I could hear the faint ding of the elevator even at a distance. When Luca rounded the corner, I could tell something was still bothering him. He stopped about six feet from me and said hello.
“Hi, Luca.”
“I’m sorry about earlier.”
“Are you okay?”
“I will be.”
“Do you want to talk about whatever was bothering you?”
“I can’t.”
“It’s hard to help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“I don’t need help.”
“Then what do you need?”
He closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms. “This,” he said, a moment before his lips met mine. I wrapped my arms around him as my eyes slid shut and my heart raced. He kissed me with raw passion, then kept holding me tightly as he whispered, “Tell me there’s a chance.”
“Of what?”
“This ending up as more than just a summer fling. I need to know there’s at least a possibility,” he whispered as he nuzzled my ear.
“Definitely.” I didn’t have to think about my answer.
He kissed me again and held me for a long moment before finally pulling back a bit to look at me. “Can I see you tomorrow?” When I nodded he said, “I’ll find you around lunchtime.” He let go of me and took a step back, then reached out and touched my face.
“Goodnight, Luca.”
“Goodnight.” He leaned in and kissed me once more before turning and walking away. When he reached the corner, he looked back and raised his hand in a little wave before disappearing from sight. I had no idea what any of that had been about, but I felt a sense of relief as I returned to the suite.
Chapter Six
As it turned out, I was incredibly easy to find the next day. Nana’s new friends from Catania showed up to help her promote her singles party, and like my grandmother, apparently they really didn’t do things halfway. They towed a colorful rainbow-themed parade float into the town square, behind a bright yellow vintage pickup truck. It included a big, hand-lettered sign that announced the singles mixer in Italian, along with the time and location. The float was a bit worn and had probably seen its share of parades and celebrations, but it was still completely charming. So were the half-dozen scantily clad men who piled out of the pickup and a Fiat and started dancing on the float as techno music blared from hidden speakers.
Jessie helped Nana onto the float and then climbed up after her. She was dressed in a velour rainbow-printed track suit, and Jessie was wearing a colorful tie-dyed t-shirt and white shorts. They both looked at home on the float. Jessie yelled at me to join them and I tried to decline, retreating shyly toward the hotel. But then a guy I recognized from the night before jumped off the float, ran up to me and grabbed my hands. “Andiamo, Nico,” Rafael exclaimed. He was once again fully made up, and was dressed in a tight, shiny, cropped tank top and matching shorts, both bright green, which he’d paired with glittery white platform sandals that made him about six-foot-eight. His enthusiasm was so infectious that I couldn’t refuse.