All Chained Up (Devil's Rock #1)(70)

She felt the scrape of his jaw against the side of her face and then the sink of his teeth into her earlobe. And just like that she shuddered all over again, her body vibrating and humming as her sex squeezed around him.

“Oh,” he groaned. “That’s it. Milk my dick.” She felt him come inside her as he held himself deep, spasming almost in rhythm to her own contracting body.

His voice breathed into her ear, “Mine.”

She felt the word echo through her, felt it sink deep and root inside her in the most hidden crevices of her heart. Her chest expanded on a silent yes. She was his. And he was hers. She felt that, too, even if she couldn’t say it out loud.

She collapsed on the bed, not even minding his weight over her, pressing her into the mattress.

She turned her face to the side, still gasping. He braced his arms on either side of her, keeping his weight from fully squashing her. His harsh breath fluttered the hairs at her neck. She rubbed the tickle away with her fingers.

He lifted himself off her, and she felt an ache at the sudden loss. As he went into the bathroom to dispose of the condom, she sat up, smoothing her wrinkled sundress down her thighs. She was standing by the time he returned, ready to have the conversation she had tried to start with him before he kissed her.

He stepped out of the bathroom wearing a familiarly distant expression on his face. The sight of it stabbed her in the chest, and suddenly he felt out of her reach. Already gone. She ignored the feeling and told herself she was overreacting.

She took a breath and started. “Knox, about what hap—”

“I’m going to head out.”

She blinked and shook her head, sure he did not just cut her off to announce he was leaving. “We need to talk,” she said, nodding at him as though encouraging those words to sink in. For him to understand.

He rubbed his fingers over the center of his forehead like he suddenly had a headache. Like she was his headache. Which stung. “I don’t think we should do this, Briar.”

She flinched. “What is ‘this’ exactly? Let’s be clear on that point since you don’t want to do it again. Fucking?” She managed to not even shock herself at uttering the profane word. “Is that what you mean? You don’t want to f*ck anymore?” She motioned savagely to the bed. “You could have fooled me.”

He looked almost bored as he gazed at her, tilting his head to one side. “Let’s not do this, Briar.”

“Oh, let’s do it. I want to. Really.” She crossed her arms. “I thought you coming here last night established you were interested in me.”

“There’s f*cking and there’s having a relationship. I’m not the relationship type. You are.”

“And you’re just now deciding this? You seemed to have a different attitude last night . . . and this morning.”

“There’s never been a chance for us. Don’t you see that?” He waved his arms, some of his austere facade cracking as his frustration bled out. “We were just fooling ourselves, Briar.”

She shook her head. “I—I was willing to try—”

“Consider it tried,” he said, taking another step away from where she stood in front of the bed, like he couldn’t wait to escape. “You’re not the kind of girl who gets involved with a man like me.”

Her chin went up. She fought against the wave of pain rolling through her. “Maybe you’re right.”

He hesitated, looking at her oddly, and she gave herself a pat on the back for catching him off guard. Did he want her to plead and beg? No. She would reach him a different way. With the truth.

“Today my sister told me I was just like my mother.” At his silent stare, she continued, “She said that because my mother married my father. And she never left him even though he beat her and humiliated her and made her every day a misery. Even though she lived in fear of his voice, she stayed. She stayed and made us stay, too. She still stays with him even though we’ve offered her a place to live. A home with either one of us. She stays with him. This dangerous, abusive man.” Emotion bubbled up in her chest, threatening to overtake her, but she held on.

He finally spoke, “You never told me—”

“About my father? Why would I? He’s not part of my life anymore. He doesn’t deserve to be remembered but I’m telling you now. Maybe I didn’t go to prison, but I know what it’s like to live every day waiting to be free, waiting to escape a shitty existence. I know about abusive men.”

He closed the space separating them and cupped her cheek. “Your sister is wrong. I would never hurt you, Briar.”

“You’re right. I’m not my mother. But you’re leaving me now because you think you’re the same as him . . . this thing I’ve been careful to stay away from.”

“Briar . . . you’re smart enough to see—”

“Smart enough to know you,” she quickly cut in, triumph flashing through her at making her point. “I’m not my mother and you’re not my father.”

His hand dropped from her face. “I never worried that I would hurt you. It’s the rest of the world I worry about. I never planned to kill that boy all those years ago. I just wanted the truth out of him. Justice for Katie. It could happen again. I could lose control. Around you, I feel that way. If anyone ever hurt you—” He stopped and shook his head. “That’s why this ends here.”