Alcohol You Later (58)

She rolls her tongue over her the seam of her mouth. “Mmm,” she says, smacking her lips. “I’ve missed the way you taste.”

Her hand lands on my chest, her thumb lightly brushing back and forth over my erect nipple while I stare at her in a state of utter confusion. I’m tense everywhere, hot, and covered in a light sheen of sweat. I’m ready to swoop her up into my arms, carry her off to bed, and devour every inch of her sick body. “So…dessert?”

Her head swivels slowly. She grips the back of my neck in her hand, lowering my head to whisper into my ear. “Delayed gratification.”

I wince when her teeth scrape my lobe, sending another jolt to my cock.

Staring up at the ceiling, I take a deep inhale, trying to calm the fire in my veins.

“You mad?”

“Not at all,” I say, chuckling to myself as I bring a hand up to pinch the bridge of my nose. “Just trying to catch my breath.”

“Just think of how much better it’ll be later.” Her hand curls around my bicep and she gives it a good squeeze, her lust-filled gaze giving off an air of vindication.

I can’t help but be impressed by her ruthlessness. She keeps me humble and holds me accountable, and right now I’m paying something fierce for that little stunt with the vibrator.

With a groan, I slap her on the ass. “Go get in your suit. Barbecue’s by the hot tub.”

She digs through the bag, retrieving two tiny black scraps of fabric with the tags still attached, holding them out for my inspection, frowning.

I nod, sucking my tongue to my teeth. “Remind me to thank Anika when we get back.”

“I might as well go naked.” Grumbling, she heads off to the bathroom.

“You wouldn’t hear me complaining.”

Her middle finger pops back into the doorway, eliciting a chuckle from me.

Once she’s gone, I hurry through prepping the food for the grill, singing the alphabet song on repeat until my boner retreats. Then I drop trou, right there in the kitchen, and slip into the teal boardshorts I packed for myself.

I nearly lose the tray of food on the living room floor when she steps out in nothing but string and a few strategically placed triangles. Anika is a fucking perv, and I’m here for it. “You look…” I rove my eyes appreciatively over her form, taking in every luscious curve. “Positively stunning.”

“It’s a damn good thing I got this all waxed before coming out to meet you.”

“Ah.” I shrug, dipping my head toward the door, signaling for her to follow. “I ain’t afraid of a little pubic floss.”

She makes an exaggerated gag. “You’re disgusting.”

I make no attempt to deny it.

The hot tub is located next to the outdoor kitchen, making it the perfect place to relax while our food cooks. It’s also great for setting the mood. Warm water, bubbles, sensual music, Raven’s near naked body plastered against mine.

It’s a test of my wills to keep from taking her here and now, especially after that little stunt she pulled back in the kitchen.

“So,” she says, leaning back with her head on my chest. “How are things going on the bus with the kids?”

Like a bag of ice to the genitals.

“It’s going okay,” I lie.

She turns her head to stare at me. “The truth.”

“Umm.” I busy myself with relieving her hair from what’s left of her braids. “It’s a lot of work…but I think I’m getting the hang of the diaper thing.”

“That’s good.”

“Alex asked for his mom yesterday.”

Her hands clench my thighs. “Oh, no.”

“So, I dug through the boxes their Aunt Stacy sent, with photo albums and baby books, and found one with pictures of Ellie and the kids and laid on the bed and flipped through the pages with them.”

“That had to be tough.” Her hand moves up and down my arm in soothing strokes.

I shrug. “It wasn’t for them, though. They’re so young, they just don’t know any better. They were so happy, pointing her out in all the photos, but it really got to me.”

“Of course, it did.”

“She loved them, Ray. Like soul-deep loved those kids. You can feel it in her letters. See it in the way she looked at them in those photographs.” Anger has me grinding my molars. “It’s just not fair.”

“Because your mom walked out.”

“Yeah,” I rasp, choking on my resentment for that woman. “I hate that they’ll grow up motherless like I did.” I shake my head. “Fucking hate it.”

“But they won’t.” Ray turns in my lap to face me, straddling my knees. “They’ll have her pictures and her letters and videos. They’ll know they were wanted and loved beyond measure.”

“Yeah,” I say, brushing the wet hair back from her face. “I guess they will.”

“And you have the opportunity to give them a father, Nick.” She takes one of my hands into hers, playing with my fingers. “To be the father you wish you’d had.”

She’s not saying anything I haven’t been thinking myself. I’m just not confident I could provide what these kids need. Financially, sure. But they don’t have to live with me for that. I can barely regulate my own emotions.