Against the Odds (Fighting to Survive #2)(22)

Robert walks through the bedroom door with a dimpled smile. “Quite a party, huh, Sweets?”

“It sure was. Good job on the shirts, too, Ace.”

He bows and it makes me laugh. “I’ve been thinking of going into graphic design after I beat Kennedy’s ass,” he jokes.

I ignore the statement about Kennedy and add as a joke, “And party planning.”

“And party planning.” He gets into bed and says seriously, “When I retire, I’m retired. I won’t be working odd jobs, I’ll be home with my wife and kids, or at the book store, eating Jo’s famous cinnamon buns.”

I cuddle into him and he wraps his arms securely around me, “I like that idea. You’ll still work out, right?”

“I’ll have to if I want to avoid the nickname ‘Doughboy’ my wife has threatened me with.”

“Good, because I think I’ll need a break from you, time to time.” He holds his hand over his heart like my words hurt him. I laugh and smack his stomach. “Good night, Ace.”

“Sweet dreams, Sweets.”

“Momma, don’t cry.”

“Jamie, don’t go. I don’t want you to go. Please stay with me.”

“Momma, don’t cry. I have to go. Grandma needs me.”

I try to move, but can’t. “I’m coming with you. Wait.”

“Daddy needs you and you need Daddy. You have to stay here with Daddy. The lights and the flowers are so pretty. Can you see them, Momma?”

I blink but all I see is blackness. No lights and no beautiful flowers. Just darkness. “I can’t, I’m sorry.”

“It’s time for me to go. Grandma is waiting. I love you so much, Momma.”

I can now see her face so clearly. I think it’s a memory, I’m not sure. I touch her small face with my trembling fingers. I never want to forget her, I never want to forget anything about her. Her beautiful face, her touch, her smell, and her sweet voice. She looks at me and she is so happy. “I love you, Jamie. I will always love you. Do you have Jack?” I ask. If my baby girl is leaving, I want to make sure she has her favorite toy.

“Daddy has Jack, I love you. I’ll be watching out for you, for you both,” she says as she gradually fades away into the air.

I wake up breathing hard and crying. My pillow is wet from the steady stream of tears. Robert is talking calmly to me. “It’s a dream, Leah. It’s all right, Sweets.” I rest my hands on my belly to calm the kicking. It reminds me of the present. I’m pregnant and there is no Jamie in the present. I dreamed or remembered the past, the accident. It was like a memory or a vision, but it was a dream. “It’s all right, Leah,” Robert says as he pulls me closer to him.

“I dreamed about Jamie.”

“I know, you were calling her name.”

“It was a dream, but it was like a memory… a memory of the accident.”

“Was Jamie telling you goodbye in your dream, vision, or your memory?”

I tilt my head to look at him. “Yes, was she talking about lights and flowers and she said she had to go because grandma was waiting for her.”

“I had the same memory,” he admits. “I think it was right before she went to heaven.”

I get cold chills and run my hands up and down my arms. “I think you’re right. I told her to wait for me and she said I had to stay here with you. She said that her grandma was waiting for her,” I cry.





Chapter Three: Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Robert

I comfort Leah as she cries. She had the same memory I had of Jamie right after the accident. I still have nightmares/memories and I try to forget them as soon as I have/remember them. It haunts me to this day and now it will also spook Leah. Leah said that Jamie said her grandma was waiting for her. I forgot about that part. What grandma? Both of Jamie’s grandparents are still living and she doesn’t remember her great grandparents; they died before she was even born. Who was she talking about?

I hold Leah and rest my large hand over her belly. I know that when Leah gets upset, the baby also gets upset. It’s like the baby can feel Leah’s emotions. It amazes me that an infant can feel so much before birth. The kicking calms and Leah laughs softly. “She likes you.”


“She should; I’m her Dad.” I’m her Dad. God, I love the way that sounds.

“When I rest my hand on my belly, she calms slightly but continues to kick. You do the exact same thing and she calms almost immediately. I don’t get it.”

“My hands bigger and it covers more, maybe that’s why.”

“I love you, Robert.”

I look down at her and smile. “Thank you. I love you, too.”

The next morning, Leah decides to stay in bed; she doesn’t want to lie on the couch. Our mothers are coming over to help put the gifts away that we received last night. I know Leah is on bedrest, but I have to wonder if the reason she is staying in bed in the bedroom is because her depression is coming back. I also know the dream Leah had is hard for me to deal with, I know it will be hard for Leah to deal with, too.

I shower and make us breakfast. When I return, Leah is sleeping. I leave the tray of food in the bedroom for her for when she wakes up. While I run the vacuum, Mom and Sue arrive. They immediately put dinner in the oven and start helping me with dusting and mopping. When the cleanup is done, they wash all of the new baby clothes we got at the shower. I’m surprised they are washing everything and not just folding and putting everything in the drawers. I don’t ask. I check on Leah a few times and she appears to still be sleeping. Her tray of food is left untouched.