Addicted to You (Addicted #1)(94)

I pull a woolen blanket tighter around my body, hiding beneath the soft fabric. I lose the courage to meet my sister’s gaze, and I listen to the familiar clap of her heels on the hardwood. The noise dies off as she steps onto the living room rug.

“Why didn’t you take her to the hospital?” Rose accuses.

“It’s complicated,” Connor says.

“It’s not complicated, Richard,” she spits. “My little sister was just attacked. She needs to be checked out.”

I take a small breath and risk a glance. Wearing a fur coat and chapped lips from the chill outside, her usual cold demeanor has been undeniably fractured with something more human. She cares. I’ve always known that, but others wouldn’t be so quick to see it.

“I’m okay,” I tell her, believing it too. “He didn’t get that far.”

To avoid a surge of emotion, she clenches her teeth hard, staring at me like I’ve suddenly come undone. But I don’t feel how she sees me. I’m okay. Honestly.

“I’m okay,” I repeat, just so she understands.

Rose holds up a finger to pause the talk. She turns to Connor. “Where’s Lo?” She clears her throat, choked.

I chime in, on an automatic setting. “He’s asleep.”

“Unconscious,” Connor corrects me.

Ryke stands. “Connor and I found Lily. Lo was…” drinking himself to sleep. He shakes his head, more upset than I thought possible. “I’ll go check on him.” Ryke pads off. And then there were three.

Rose looks back to Connor. “What was Lo doing?”

“Nothing,” I cut in. “Honestly, it’s fine. I’m okay. He’s okay. You guys don’t need to be here.” We can handle this. We’ve handled so much already. How is this any different?

Rose ignores me and waits for Connor to answer.

“He was drinking at the bar, getting wasted.”

Rose shakes her head almost immediately, disbelieving. “No. He doesn’t drink that much anymore, and he wouldn’t leave Lily. They’re always together.”

Connor frowns. “Are we talking about the same Loren Hale?”

I suck in a breath. “Stop,” I say. “Please! It’s fine.” But it’s like they’ve put my voice on mute. My head spins. Is this what free-falling feels like?

“I think I know him better than you,” Rose says. “He’s been dating my sister for three years.”

I crumple into the chair, seeing the wrecking ball smash apart my life before it happens.

“Then one of us has been fed wrong information. The Lo and Lily I know have been dating for two months.”

I crawl further in my blanket as their accusatory eyes pierce my body.

“Lily,” Rose says in a high-pitched voice. I’m scaring her. “Explain.”

Don’t cry. I swallow. “I’m sorry,” I start. “I’m sorry.” I bring my knees to my chest and press my forehead to them, hiding the tears that brew. I sense her condemnation, her hatred and spite at the world I’ve constructed for her to trust. A girl who has done nothing but love me unconditionally.

“Lily,” she breathes, her voice soft and near. She places a hand on my cheek, smoothing back my hair. I look up, and she kneels in front of me, not as betrayed as I imagined. “What’s going on?”

I want to paint a picture for her—a torrid, restless picture that spans across three long years, but spilling truths hurts more than constructing the lies. I focus on the facts. As an intellectual, maybe Rose will accept them.

I rest my chin on my kneecaps and stare past her. It’s easier. “Three years ago, Lo and I made a deal to pretend to be in a relationship. We wanted everyone to believe we’re good people, but we’re not.” I look away. “We started dating during the boat trip to the Bahamas.”

Rose tenses and picks her words carefully. “Lily, what do you mean about not being good people?”

I let out a short, crazed laugh. Why is it so funny? It’s not. None of this feels right. “We’re selfish and miserable.” I lean my head back. Being in a real relationship was supposed to fix everything. Our love should have mended all the pain and the hurt. Instead, we’re met with more complications, more consequences, more frowns and furrowed brows.

“So you closed everyone off?” she questions. “You built a fake relationship to hide away from the rest of us?” Her tone sharpens, beyond hurt, but when I look at her, I see fear and pain and sympathy. Sentiments I do not deserve. “It doesn’t make sense, Lily. You’re not a bad person, not enough to cast us away and play make-believe with your childhood friend.”

I cringe at everything. “You don’t know what I am.”

Rose glances over her shoulder. “Leave us,” she tells Connor. He doesn’t hesitate before disappearing down the hall. Swiftly, Rose spins back and clasps my hands in hers. I try to jerk away.

“Stop,” I say.

She holds tighter. “I am right here. I am not going anywhere.”

Tears well up. She should leave. I’ve tortured her enough.

“Look at me,” she pleads.

Hot tears scald, sliding slowly down my cheeks in fiery lines. I can’t meet her gaze.

“You cannot get rid of me, Lily. Nothing you do or say will make me leave. If you don’t tell me now, then I’ll hear of it in a year…”