Addicted to Mr Parks (The Parks Series #2)(100)

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset,” he scoffed insultingly, acting cold, distant, and like he hardly knew me at all. “I told you that’s how I felt in the beginning, but that changed. You know how I feel about you, Evelyn. It goes without saying.” His words were disbelieving, his tone almost bitter. I hated that side of him. But I also knew how to handle it.

“No it doesn’t,” I screeched. “Because unless we’re f*cking, you don’t tell me how you feel. Fucking is not always the answer. I told you I need words more than actions, but I don’t think you grasp that idea. The concept is sinking in, but the execution hasn’t caught up. Clearly.”

“Evelyn, I don’t need to explain how much you mean to me.”

My stare widened towards the impossible beautiful man that I could have easily f*cking strangled. “Tell me how you feel about the broken woman you tried to fix to cover up your own misery. I was strong before I met you. I didn’t need those words to make me feel because I didn’t want to f*cking feel. Now I know what it means to feel something inside. I know how it feels to be wanted, to live again. I told you when I’d fall, I’d fall hard, and now you have become my addiction, Wade. And like all addictions, I cannot get enough. I need that from you. I need those actions. I need the f*cking. I need the words. I need your everything like my lungs need air to breathe. Like my heart needs blood to function.” I craved him like a drug. Craved the side effects. Craved the way he made me think differently. I chased after what he could gift me with. Like any drug, the first time you try is just a taster, but the more you have, the more you want, and that’s what was happening with Parks. I began to need him. He was my reason for living.


He cupped at my face. His approach was soft after hearing my confessions, but his demeanour was agitated, and I wasn’t entirely sure why. “You want words, Evelyn? What about these—I f*cking love you, Evelyn. Okay? I. Love. You. Is that enough words for you now?”

My eyes batted open, blinking in shock. “What?”

He took my shaking body into his arms, swiping at a stray tear with his thumb. “I have fallen deeply and absolutely in love with you, Princess. That’s why you are different. You have stolen my heart.”

My heart seized at the unexpected words he threw me, giving me whiplash. I was getting ready to take a blow. Instead, he confessed his love. Fuck. He loved me?

“You love me? You actually love me?”

He was torn. I could see it in his eyes. He hated the way I was questioning his love for me. Hated the way I couldn’t believe a man like him could love a damaged soul like me.

“I love you with every fibre of my being, and I can’t keep it in any longer. I know I can act like a complete dick. I know I’m arrogant and cocky. I know I’m domineering and controlling. But what I also know is that I love you more than anything in this goddamn world.”

He let me go and started pacing the room, gripping at his hair with frustrated hands. “Since the moment you walked into my office, I admit, I knew you were broken. And yes, I only f*ck broken women to try and distract myself from my own misery. In some f*cked-up way, knowing their lives were as messed up as mine made me feel better about myself. I guess. I don’t know.”

I felt the hatred he held inside. Hatred towards himself for treating those women like an experiment. Hatred towards the temper he couldn’t control. My mind was fleeting between happy and crushed, and my heart half hurting from the pronouncement that his life was fractured. How was his life f*cked up? All I saw was perfection. In every way. The other half of my heart was beating with a new lease of life. I was loved. Loved by Wade Parks, and that feeling made me want to break down and cry. It was a sign of weakness and I didn’t care if wanting to be loved made me weak and vulnerable. It was sure as hell better than being strong and alone.

“Let me just…” I paused, trying to catch my straying breath. “You love me?”

Parks laughed at my shock, but he was still entwined with grief. “Princess, I’ve loved you since day one. You are a rare beauty, and I have to cherish that.”

His words sent happy tears to my eyes. He wanted me. He’d confessed his love and told me I was worthy.

Parks was by my side to wipe the tears, staring deep into my mending soul. “You are the strongest woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You’ve taken so much shit in your life, so much pain, and I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you that I want to take it all away.”

Tears fogged my view, and I closed my eyes. My body shuddered as I began to sob, and the strained tone to Parks’s words as he continued to speak told me it was cutting him apart to see me cry like this.

“Evelyn Banks, you are beautiful inside and out. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different. I see underneath your beautiful. I love your perfect. I love your imperfect. I adore your flaws. You are the only person who has ever breathed life into me, and I can’t thank you enough for that. You are my Princess, and when I say I love you, I mean I f*cking love you. I want to take care of you forever. Let me.”

“That’s all I ever wanted.” I broke down in his arms, falling. My knees becoming so weak I couldn’t hold myself up. Parks wrapped me up into his arms, carried me over to the bed, and held me as I cried tears of distress combined with joy and relief. That flame that first ignited when we both got together had suddenly exploded, leaving something new. A new beginning. Fresh new feelings and a reason to believe in hope.