Addicted After All(116)

I lean closer to her, feeling lighter than I ever have before.

He’s tiny, his eyes pinched like the light is too harsh for him. But he squirms a bit and lets out a couple high-pitched noises, not cries exactly. Just saying he’s here.

After about fifteen minutes, the world feels calmer, people start slowing down. He’s swaddled in a blanket and content. “Will you hold him?” Lily asks me like she’s wondering if I won’t.

I don’t hesitate. I lift him gently in my arms. God, I can’t get over how small he is.

“What do you think?” she asks.

I realize I haven’t said a single word. And I break into a smile, my eyes glassy. “He looks powerful.”

Even through her exhaustion, she beams like she’s risen a million feet. “Like a superhero?”

I nod a couple times and brush my finger over his soft cheek. He responds with a mumble of acceptance. I never thought I could love someone the way that I love Lily, but my world has just expanded, plus one.

I whisper softly, “Definitely like a superhero.”





{ 35 }

LILY CALLOWAY



For the past week, we’ve been camping out in Maximoff’s superhero-themed nursery on the long blue couch. I may be biased, but the city painted on the wall, the X-Men blanket, and Thor’s hammer mobile beats Jane’s pink princess room any day.

This afternoon, we’ve been watching FX’s X-Men marathon on our bed with Maximoff between us, and he’s been sleeping well past his usual nap time. “Is he alive?” I whisper to Lo. We both sort of hover over him, watching him sleep more than we’ve been watching the films.

Paranoid, yes. We’ve been reading too many pamphlets about Sudden Infant Death syndrome. Which can be caused by what feels like anything. The baby can’t sleep on his tummy. He can’t be wrapped too tightly in a blanket. One wrong move and bam! Baby down.

I have this dark, horrific image of waking up and finding Maximoff blue and…yeah.

I’ve already made Connor give me refresher tips for baby CPR.

“I’m sure he’s alive, Lil,” Lo whispers, but his brows knot with as much uncertainty as mine.

“How do we know he’s breathing?” I ask.

Lo stays quiet for a moment, and then he says, “Maybe one of us should poke him or something.”

I nod wildly. “Good idea. You do it.” Our baby barely stirs, so peaceful, and he rarely ever cries either. Jane has more fits than him…maybe that’s why I’m more nervous about his quiet nature. I can’t tell if it means something’s wrong or if he’s just a really good baby.

Lo leans closer on his side and taps Maximoff’s little foot in his blue onesie, a lightning bolt on the chest. My heart stops beating for a couple seconds and only starts again when he kicks his little legs. I exhale a breath of relief. He’s alive. All is well.

And then he wails loudly.

Oh no. “He woke up.” I cringe at his shrieks and sit up at the same time as Lo.

Lo gives me a look. “I thought that was the point.” He scoops Maximoff in his arms and pats his bottom as he rocks him. Our son hushes in seconds, his slate-gray eyes closing in a sleep, his little lips parted as he breathes. Lo wags his brows at me. “He loves me.”

I can’t help but smile, and I kiss Lo quickly on the lips. I want to say: you’re easily lovable, Loren Hale. But sadly, that’s not true for most people he meets. I fell in love with Lo like a little girl opening her heart to magic. It always seemed surreal until the moment it became true.

Lo checks the clock on the end table. “We should probably feed him.” He climbs off the bed and looks down at me. “Lil.”

“What?” I try to restrain my smile, biting my gums. It doesn’t work too well.

“You can’t look at me like that every time I hold him. It’s driving me insane, and I can’t do anything about it for six weeks.” He says I have this “adorable happy glow” that makes him want to straddle me. But I have no sexual urges, for maybe the first time ever. I’m sore down below and the thought of something hard sounds too painful to consider. And thankfully my hormones are even back in check.

I spring off the bed. “I can’t help it. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

“Like Magneto saving mutant-kind without destroying mankind, I know. You’ve told me.”