A Year at the French Farmhouse(11)

‘That’s what I hoped. I was going to get on to eBay and find out this morning. But then I got a message from the seller. An email.’

‘And?’

‘Well, it was all in French, so I had to run it through Google translate, but…’ she reached over and flicked up another web page.

TRANSLATION

Dear Mrs,

I am delighted very that you have purchased the good-looking house of stone near to a large body of water. I will speak to the lawyer and the paperwork he will become drawn up in very shortly time I truly believe very not slowly. And it is good news for you too! I am the mayor of the local town of Eymoutiers that which means I can make quicker the time for signing. There is still of course a legal process, but one that I can influence with my powers and help to make a more quickly speed. I wish to hear from you most quickly.

Many wonderful days, Frédérique de Breton.





It wasn’t the most accurate of translations, but it was pretty easy to get the gist.

‘Oh.’

‘Yes.’

‘He’s the mayor?’

‘Yep. And I looked him up. Did you know that in France the mayor is also the chief gendarme?’

‘The, what?’

‘Head of the local police.’

‘Whoops. Uh-oh, you’re in trouble, Lily Butterworth!’ Emily said, with a laugh.

‘I know! I mean, I’m not sure how I stand legally as far as eBay is concerned, but there’s all this momentum from this Frédérique guy now, too. And it feels so official and I’m just worried that if I… back out, I might be in trouble?’

Emily slung an arm around her friend’s shoulder and shook her head. ‘Darling, I was joking. I don’t think he’s going to extradite you to France and haul you before the courts, or throw you in the dungeon of his ch?teau.’

‘I know that. But I want to move to France one day.’

‘You may have mentioned this previously.’

‘Em, it’s not funny. What if I muck this guy around and end up scuppering my whole future!’ Lily felt her mouth wobble with threatened tears.

‘You seriously think,’ said Emily, looking at her, ‘that making a mistake on one transaction might blacklist you for the whole of France?’

Lily felt herself blush. ‘I know, it’s extreme. But it feels so serious. I mean, of all the houses on eBay why did I have to commit to buy one from the fucking chief of police? And you know what I’m like with, well… getting things right?’

‘You mean your misplaced sense of honour?’

‘I mean, wanting to do the right thing.’

‘That’s what I said.’

‘So I’m screwed, basically, aren’t I?’

Emily looked at her and put a reassuring hand on her knee. Her brow was slightly furrowed and she focused her intelligent green eyes on Lily’s face. ‘He’s not the inspector general, sweetheart. He’s just the local bobby at best. I mean, how many houses are there in Eymoutiers?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe a thousand?’

‘And the hamlet the house is in?’

‘Probably about a hundred, at most.’

‘And by the looks of this one, half of them are derelict or for sale. So, he’s not the big I am, or anything.’

‘No, I suppose not. Still, I feel…’

‘I know you do.’ Emily said kindly. ‘That’s one of the things I love about you.’

‘My chronic anxiety?’

‘Your honesty.’

‘Thank you.’

‘So what are you going to do?’ Emily said. ‘Do you want me to help you? I can’t remember much French from school, but I’m sure I could help you wriggle out of it. I can say I did it, if you want.’

Lily looked at Emily, her face earnest. ‘You’re such a good friend,’ she said.

‘So that’s a yes? You want me to contact this Frédérique?’ Emily said, with a mock French accent.

‘No,’ said Lily, slowly, looking at her friend. ‘I don’t think I do.’

‘You’re not actually going to go through with it, are you? I mean, I know you want to move to France and all. But buying a house this way – sight unseen – is extreme, even for you!’

‘I know. And my first response was – how do I get out of this? But since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking… well, what if I just go for it? What if this is the universe’s way of getting me to take the plunge?’ Lily said, feeling suddenly shy.

‘And by universe, I take it you mean three-quarters of a bottle of Beaujolais?’

‘Well, yes,’ Lily blushed. ‘The wine… well, it did come into it, I think. But wine just sort of… well, releases your inhibitions, right?’

‘Definitely,’ Emily said, her eyes clouding a moment with memory. ‘Yep. Makes you do things you probably secretly wanted to all along…’

‘And, I suppose… on some level, however drunk I was… maybe I tapped into something. Something I really wanted to do but have been too… I don’t know. Scared, I suppose.’ Lily moved the laptop back towards her and pulled up the picture of the house again. ‘I mean, look at it, Emily. I could do everything I wanted there. There’s a huge garden, a habitable stone house and room for a whole studio in the barn if I can afford to get some works done, or even do it myself.’