A Whole New Crowd(75)

He waited for me to nod. When I did, he lifted my hand, the one with the knife, and pressed the blade against his neck. He said, “Press it into me.”
“No.”
I tried to pull back, but Tray caught my hand. “You need to feel what it’s like to have a knife to a throat. This is where they’re vulnerable.”
I nodded. His hand fell from mine and I kept the knife there. He stared at me, and I felt his trust in me, but his eyes were blazing. He was fighting for me. “I want to kill Jace.”
“I know you do.”
I had loved him. Now I hated him.
His hands framed both sides of my face. Bending over, he rested his forehead to mine and stared right into me. “I can’t promise you will get the chance. He leads the Panthers. He works for Sal Galverson, and he’s one of the best fighters I have ever heard about.”
“I can hurt him in other ways.” My mind was connecting the dots. He wanted me out of the way. He had connections to my adopted parents. I was his secret. “He didn’t want Galverson to know about me. Why? That makes no sense.”
Tray stepped away. “What are you talking about?”
“He said Brian hated him. He said Brian wasn’t a threat, but I could’ve been. What did he mean by that?”
“In that world, there’s no guarantee. People can turn on you in a flash.”
“Yeah.” I lifted my chin up. “I could get Galverson to turn on Jace.”
“No, no. That’s not a good idea.”
“But what if—”
Tray caught my arms and pulled me back in front of him. “No, Taryn. That world is dangerous. I had my own brush with it, remember? I’ll never see my dad again. You can’t do anything. I’m teaching you this stuff on the off chance that you do find yourself in an alley against someone.”
I snorted. “I’m a thief. I can usually find my way out of a situation.”
“Yeah.” He tapped my forehead. “You’ve always used this, but it’s personal now. You’re all heart now. You’re not going into anything clear-headed, not until you really grieve Brian Lanser fully.” His voice grew soft. “And I’ll be honest, I don’t think you ever will. When you love, you love hard. I know that about you. I also know you’re not going to let him go because you blame yourself.”
I reared back as if he had slapped me. “I blame Jace.”
“Yeah, but you blame yourself too. I can feel it in you. You barely eat. You’re a walking zombie. The girl who was so full of life and fight before is a shell now. You’re empty, but I know everything will slam back and you’ll go crazy. The need to hurt Jace will be too much and you’ll do something that could hurt you,” he pulled me close again, “really hurt you. That’s why I’m showing you this.”
“So what do you want me to do?” My hand wrapped around the knife. I felt the razor’s edge against my skin, pressing into it. I was fighting myself. I wanted to hurt myself, but I wanted to hurt someone else more. With a concerted effort, I relaxed my hand. I let the knife slip down, and I caught the handle of it. Then I looked at it. It was a small weapon, but it could be so deadly at the same time.
“Nothing.”
I flashed him a grin. “Brian died because of him.”
He let out a sigh.
“There’s a snowball’s chance in hell that I won’t do anything.”
“Taryn.”
I pointed the knife at him. “Jace wanted me gone. His boss is in town.” I remembered another fact. “There was a ton of security at the Pedlam High School. I’m going to figure out why. Something’s going on. I want to know what and then I’ll figure out some way to turn Galverson against Jace. He’s going to die, whether at my hands or not.”
As I left the gym, my shoulders were straight. My walk was steady. There was a calm that settled over me. It replaced the turmoil inside me and I felt good. I had a mission. I owed Brian. I was going to make his death stand for something, even if I died trying. So be it.
I kept the knife.



CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Mandy remained in treatment. Austin worshiped Tray. I became less of a walking zombie. People began warming back up to me. A few even said hello to me, but then I got a note to go to the counselor’s office in my last class on Friday. Tray and I had plans for more training; we had started to spar against each other in the boxing ring. As I stood up and headed for the door, the teacher called me back. “Take your books, Taryn.”
I paused at the door. Everyone lifted their heads, looking from me to the teacher. He pointed to my table. “You won’t be coming back today.”