A Whole New Crowd(7)

“I know you’re not stupid.” He moved closer to wrap a hand around my neck. He bent forward slightly, his mouth just to the side of mine. He was almost kissing me. Without thinking, I closed my eyes and leaned into him, bringing our bodies in contact. His other hand slid from my arm and down my back, ending just on the small of my back. He applied enough pressure, tipping my hips against his.
This was how Brian held me.
At that thought, I softened. My arm slipped around his shoulder, curving around his neck, and I moved my head towards his. Our lips touched, just slightly. There was no pressure. Just a small graze. I hadn’t been kissed like in months. My body wanted it. There was a promise of safety and security. That old feeling I would get from Brian was there.
Brian…
I missed this, even if it wasn’t real, even if it wasn’t with the right guy. I could feel it again, for a small moment. I could slip away from the newness of my world, the fear from being out of my comfort zone and away from my real family. I was tempted. I was so tempted. Neither of us moved, we were at a standstill. Both of us were breathing deeply now and I slipped a finger inside the waistband of his pants and pulled. Tray’s mouth opened over mine. His kiss was rough, taking command.
Opening my mouth, I dipped my head back and granted him better access. As his tongue swept inside, I moved mine against his, and my hands took hold of his shirt. Then I slid my foot around his leg and he grasped it, raising it, pulling my body almost on top of his.
Shit. This was too much, too quick. I pulled away and frowned. It hadn’t been the warm comfort I felt with Brian. I glanced at Tray, seeing that he was just as affected as I was, and I shook my head clear. Tray was not Brian. He was a different type of danger than Brian, and with that thought, I shut it down. I wasn’t going there.
“Just think about it.” He had gone hoarse.
I didn’t trust myself to speak so I just nodded.
“Fine.”
I expected him to go. I expected him to pretend like I didn’t exist, like he’d done over the week, but he didn’t. He lingered and watched my lips.
Oh good god. My heart began beating faster. I hadn’t signed up for this. Before this week, he had never said a word to me. Before this school and before my new family, he would’ve been in a different league than I was.
Guys wanted me. I knew this. I used it as a weapon at times. Guys were dumb. Girls were jealous and while they were experiencing those emotions, I used it, getting what I needed while they were distracted by their internal feelings.
But this guy, I licked my lips without thinking, this guy was different. I felt unbalanced with him. I didn’t have the upper hand, and in those moments, I retreated. That’s what I needed to do now. I started to go, but he hauled me back. My hand went to his chest and I stopped him. “Don’t.”
He ignored me. His hand slid inside my pocket and he pulled my ringing phone out. A new surge of heat rushed to my face as I realized I’d been so distracted by him, that I had missed that. Swearing in my head, I took it from him and pulled away, turning my back to him. “Yeah?”
I didn’t check who was calling. I should’ve.
“Babe.”
It was Brian. Memories of being with him, of being held in his arms, of being sheltered by him assaulted me. I shook my head. “You can’t call me.”
“Taryn,” he said so softly, “come on.”
I shook my head. “You can’t. We talked about this.”
He paused on the other end. I heard his pain. I felt it too, but he was my past, and he had become a bad part of my past. I glanced at Tray. Here was a different guy, one from the ‘right side’ of the tracks. He was asking me to go back there. Hearing Brian’s voice was torture, but I was glad. The decision to keep clean was reaffirmed and I remembered what I could lose, or worse yet, I shuddered, what I could go back to.
“You can’t call me.” My throat swelled. “I’m sorry, Brian.” Then I hung up.
“That was your ex?”
I didn’t respond. No one needed to know my business.
“Look, I get it. I do.”
He didn’t, but I remained silent. My back was still turned to him.
“I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t important. Your sister said you could get into any building. That’s what her parents had been warned about, that you’re one of the best. I don’t know that world. I don’t. I know my school. I know my friends, and I know that I have to take care of us. Getting into Pedlam will help.”
“It’s a stupid rivalry.”
“It’s not. They f*cked us up last time. A lot of guys lost scholarships. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s important to us. It’s important to them.”