A Throne of Ruin (Deliciously Dark Fairytales #2)(36)

“After the display you put on with your sword earlier, I doubt she’d goad you into it. I rather think she’d tell you to hide and wait for me. If you have a dagger…” He shrugged. “I’ve seen what you can do with a dagger. Or a pocketknife. If you need to kill a demon that is harassing you, then do it. Soon they’ll get the picture.”

“I didn’t bring a dagger.”

“We have plenty.”

“Why the tower, though? Why not a normal room? I know there must be some. Even one of the rooms reserved for staff.”

He took a deep breath. “Two reasons. One, because past rulers built in extensive secret passageways to either spy or bring their lovers to them without being detected. Or, in my father’s case, get drunk and accost the staff.”

“Ugh,” I said.

“Yes, exactly. There were many reasons why I tried to leave, and that is one of them. It didn’t happen often, but…” He squeezed me tightly, anger coming through the bond. “The castle has many dark secrets, from my father’s reign on back. Power corrupts, even for a species as noble as mine.”

“Don’t sell yourself short or anything,” I mumbled with a smile.

“Anyway, most of the rooms in the castle also have multiple sets of keys. One is held by the room owner, another by the cleaners, and yet another by the head house staff to look in on the underlings…on and on. The only room in that castle that only has two keys and no secret passages is that tower. It is the absolute safest place for you to call home.”

I took his hand and threaded my fingers in his. He’d been looking out for me even when he seemed to not care about me.

“And the other reason?”

“I spent a lot of time in it as a child, and then used it as my sanctuary when I got older. I could hide up there for days, and my friends wouldn’t know to look for me. It was a prison turned refuge.”

“And you hoped my prison would turn into a refuge within the castle?”

His breath fanned over my hair. “Something like that. I’m not sure, Finley. I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore. I feel like I’m blundering around in darkness. This half-life has gone on so long. I’ve latched on to my immediate duty, and anything else…”

He shook his head, and it sounded like he’d cut himself off. I wondered if it was the magical gag.

I let it drop.

“The tower it is. Will I still be able to work that garden? Will that offend you, given it was your mother’s?”

He pulled one of his hands from around me and placed it on his chest. “It would honor me. I will tell you what I remember of it, and if you could do something even remotely similar, I’d be forever grateful.”

“That’s settled, then. I’m going to make that the best garden in the magical kingdom, regardless of whether anyone else sees it or not.”

He rubbed my back without comment, acceptance that no one probably ever would. The touch filled me with sadness. He didn’t think he’d ever see any kind of salvation. He expected to die in this role without the curse ever being broken. He expected me to try to flee to save myself.

Frustration and anger filled me, but I pushed it away. I wouldn’t dwell on any of that right now. I wouldn’t let his misguided thoughts on the future affect me. Clearly he needed rescuing. I’d just have to add that to my list of things to do.

He must’ve felt my turbulent emotions through the bond, because he said softly, “So fierce. You will fight your way to freedom, I know it. It’s what your kind does.”

“My kind?” I asked, taken aback. “Do you know what my animal is?”

When he shook his head, my stomach sank in disappointment.

“No one will know your animal until you shift and she shows herself to the world,” he replied. “Not even she knows what she will become. Right now she is just an essence, waiting to take shape. Waiting to embody her own space without having to fight you for control.”

“Do you ever fight your dragon for control when in the dragon form?”

“I did once.” His smile was fond. “I wanted to fly. I caused us to fall out of the sky and into a lake. Thankfully, he took over again before we drowned. That was the first and last time. And usually he doesn’t step into my skin. It’s just… Well, he is not overly fond of how I am handling things with you.”

“Because you’re a terrible lover, that’s why.”

“Obviously, yes. You’ve hit it on the nose.”

I laughed, not bothering to look at the changing sky, as beautiful as it was, nearly full morning now. I traced his chin instead, finding a little scar hidden in the dark reddish-brown stubble.

“I didn’t feel it before,” I said.

“Feel what?” he asked

“The bond. I didn’t feel your dragon’s touch inside of us. Me.”

“It was only half realized. Only when both parties agree and establish the bond does it manifest. It’s then you feel each other intimately through it. After that, if there is intense love and devotion, the couple imprints, solidifying their bond for life.”

“But my animal said she accepted the bond last time.”

“But you didn’t. I didn’t.”

“And now?”