A Pound of Flesh (A Pound of Flesh #1)(137)

He was used to it, he shrugged it off, and, in many ways—as cynical as it was—Carter had started to expect the worst in all situations and people. At least that way he was never taken by surprise, and the arrogant, devil-may-care armor he covered himself in continued to protect him from any and all pain that came with being around f*ckers and f*ckups.

Carter was an angry son of a bitch and had accepted that particular fact years ago. He didn’t like it and he hated the roots of it, but, shit, how else was he supposed to feel after everything he’d been through? He’d resigned himself to being that way his whole life.

Well, until Peaches came back into his life.

Kat.

The woman had been an enigma to him from the get-go. She’d driven him f*cking crazy—still did—but, as time had gone on, along with his prison release and the changes in his and Kat’s relationship, Carter had begun to realize that, as much as she could rile him and get on his last damn nerve, she also managed to calm him.

After the most intense f*cking of his life, while he’d held a sleeping Kat in his arms, in his bed, Carter had experienced something that he was utterly unfamiliar with: peace.

It wasn’t that his brain turned off completely while she was around, or that he had had some cheesy spiritual enlightenment while they’d come together. It was simply that Kat seemed to help lower his brain volume. The frustration, anger, and disappointment that twisted constantly within him were blunted by Kat’s presence. He could breathe better, relax, feel more himself—and he’d basked unashamedly in his newfound slice of serenity.

Certainly, his Kat was a paradox. Her touch and words grounded him, while her kisses made him fly. At times she made him want to rip the city up in rage, but she could also make him smile like no one else. Her hugs and caresses dazed him as much as her furious verbal slaps, and Carter still wasn’t decided about whether her fiery anger turned him on more than her sexual passion.

[page]The juxtaposition was intense and, for Carter, absolutely perfect. Just like she was.

Her fire and strength, and her tenderness and sensitivity, were what made Kat so special. As ferocious as she could be, she could also be soft and quiet: molten fire and relaxing warmth. Carter loved that she kept him on his toes. He loved the spontaneity and the passion that smoldered continually between them, and he loved that she met him with every touch, kiss, and thrust with as much intensity as he felt.

She was everything he needed or wanted. But, as much as he should have been embracing his feelings for this spectacular woman, Carter found himself entirely terrified by them.

He was a *, he knew, but it was the unknown, the unfamiliarity, and the vulnerability that he had opened himself up to that left a sheen of sweat on his brow and a flutter in his heart. His armor had been delivered a huge blow when he’d pushed himself into Kat that night.

She hadn’t eased it off him with a gentle caress. No. She had torn it open with wild hunger, frantic touches, and whispered words that floored him, putting his chest and his heart in a seriously precarious position.

Carter couldn’t imagine being without Kat, now that he had her, and the thought of losing her filled him with a dread that was almost suffocating. Disappointment and frustration were nothing compared to the inevitable pain that Kat’s absence would cause. For all his assaholic, aggressive, don’t-give-a-f*ck showboating, Carter had left himself wide-open. Kat had crawled into the many spaces within him that he’d thought were lost and barren, and had brought every one of them back to life.

After watching her through the large window at the front of the beach house, he emerged cautiously from the side door. He wandered along the porch toward her. She seemed mesmerized. Carter prayed it was because she was pleased. Shit, but he was nervous. He’d never done anything like this before, and he wanted the weekend to be perfect, a chance for them to reconnect. With a large breath, he jogged over. His chest warmed when she beamed.