A Noble Groom (Michigan Brides #2)(75)

She could lead him to the barn, to a secluded spot, and could keep on kissing him. If she did, she would have her prince charming and a fairy-tale love. They would live happily ever after.

But would they really?

Even as the question slipped into her mind, it pounded her conscience as loud as the clatter of thunder.

Would Carl be happy—truly happy—in a marriage she had contrived? If she enticed and entrapped him, wouldn’t he eventually come to resent her?

The fact was, he didn’t want to marry her. He didn’t want to stay in Forestville. He didn’t want to be a farmer.

She would be condemning him to a life he didn’t want. And although he’d joined in the farming life for these past months without complaining, she’d seen the restlessness within him, the longing to do more than tossing hay onto a rack.

He was ready to leave. He’d been ready for a while. And she knew he’d only lingered because he was so kind and didn’t want her to lose her farm.

Ach. She loved him too much to make him remain out of obligation. If he stayed, she wanted it to be because he loved her, and for no other reason.

Slowly, she shook her head.

Confusion swirled through the depths of his eyes.

She stepped back, breaking contact with him. Reluctantly he released his tight grip.

She took another step away, putting an arm’s span between them. She couldn’t sin against Gott. And she knew he wouldn’t want to either if he were thinking straight.

His chest heaved with the passion of the moment, and she was surprised to find that hers was heaving too.

She lifted her eyes to his, wanting to hear him say he loved her, wanting to know that he cared about her as much as she did for him.



Instead he flung his head back and forth as if waking himself from a deep slumber. He crammed one hand into his damp hair. Confusion made creases across his forehead, and his eyes clouded with guilt.

“I’m sorry, Annalisa.” His voice was hoarse.

Was he sorry for kissing her, or sorry he couldn’t return the love that was written all over her face?

“I’m so sorry.” And when he stared off at the distant field, she had the feeling he was giving her an answer—only it wasn’t the one she wanted.

He gave a half sigh, half groan. Then, without bothering to retrieve his hat, he started down the path away from her, kicking at a loose stone. He didn’t stop to look back at her, not even once, even though her heart begged him to.

After he was finally gone, she released the sob that had swelled within her chest. She collapsed to the ground. Just as suddenly as the rain had started, it ceased, refusing to give them the sustenance and the outpouring they so desperately needed.

What had she done by letting him walk away?

But even as the regrets taunted her, she knew she could have done nothing less than let him go.

She loved him too much . . .

Another sob tore at her throat.





Chapter

16





Balancing an apple pie in one hand and a blackberry pie in the other, Annalisa approached the long table made of boards that Carl had erected in the barnyard.

She avoided looking at him as he sat with the other men, relaxing in the evening shade of her new barn. They’d spent the day erecting the building, and the women had helped her in preparing a feast to celebrate the occasion.

Although she was grateful to have the new barn before the onset of winter, its completion also meant harvest season was nearing an end. And that Carl’s departure was drawing closer.

Of course, he would stay to help with the potatoes and the corn. In the distance, the stalks swayed in the breeze, rattling loud and harsh. The ears were smaller than usual, and she dreaded peeling back a husk and hearing the telltale squeak that would indicate the corn was finally ready for harvesting.

The rain they’d received the previous week hadn’t been enough to revive the crops. She wanted to put off harvesting the corn for as long as possible with the hope that somehow the rains would come and she’d have enough corn to pay off her loan.



But deep within, especially in the dark of night, she couldn’t help thinking that she would be better off selling the farm to Ward. She’d heard rumors that he’d recently returned from Detroit, and although he hadn’t paid her a visit, she had a feeling it would only be a matter of time before he harassed her again.

After destroying her barn and nearly killing Carl, she shuddered to think what he was capable of doing next.

The fact was, she was losing her farm. She couldn’t ignore the inevitable forever. With the drought, she’d need a miracle to pay off the loan.

And she couldn’t put off Carl’s leaving either.

She tried not to think about the day when he would walk away and never return. She tried to tell herself it didn’t matter, that it was for the best.

But her entire body throbbed with an ache that wouldn’t go away.

“Oh, dearie.” Frau Pastor, in her wide-brimmed hat, bustled toward her and took one of the pies. “I think these men agreed to come help with the barn raising just so they could get a taste of your pie.”

Annalisa couldn’t muster a smile. She wanted to blame her listlessness on the busyness of the day after having been up half the night baking bread and pies. She’d spent the better part of the morning peeling potatoes after she’d beheaded and plucked two of her plumpest hens.